When one embarks on the journey of self-discovery, one really has no idea what they are really getting themselves into. What starts off as just a gentle curiosity about who and what we truly are turns into a crazy, life-changing journey that will make you see yourself and your life in a completely different way.
As a young person i would have said that LOVE was what one felt toward their Mother, Father, and Siblings, but I came from a pretty dysfunctional family and I wouldn't wish that love on anyone. It took me seven years away from my family before I could tell my partner that I loved them, because every time the word was about to come out of my mouth I thought of my father, whom I'd been told to parrot the words "I love you" to, even though I'd never heard them from him. I had to relearn the world LOVE under a non-familial context. I had to "learn" how to love again. After those seven years of relearning, I looked up definitions of the word: "A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person," YES, if that was love, then I sincerely felt it for my then partner of seven years. How about "a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend."? Well, I loved my mother, and though Jay and I didn't really get along very well at the time, I was fond of my brother, but again that "family love" got stuck in my throat when it came to my dad. I finally came to realize that, at that time in my life, "love takes time", and I was learning that I had to separate the idea of "familial love" and "non familial love". Once I made that distinction I could vocalize that I loved the person that I'd decided to share my life's journey with, my partner, and over time I realized that I could love other people too. That there were different kinds of love. I found out that the more I loved people, the more those old definitions of love fell away
We get blindsided, overwhelmed, and lost.
In today’s society, we sometimes look at others for external validation. Whether that validation is about our outfit of the day, Instagram posts, who we date, or bigger life decisions such as moving cities or quitting our jobs. When I first started therapy, I never noticed how often I was looking for outside validation from someone else that I was on the right “path” in my life. Once I started to really look within and understand my self-sabotaging behaviors, I started questioning my thoughts, and one phrase I repeated to myself often: “How is someone else supposed to know that I’m doing the right thing for me? The only person that can validate that I’m on the right path is myself.” I still catch myself with self-doubting thoughts, but for a really long time, I was at a point in my life where I couldn’t trust myself to make decisions, big or small.
If you switch on the news today, all you are bound to see is negativity. If the news were to be believed, it could be easily perceived that our world is about to end. The unfortunate reality is that it isn’t only the news that breeds negativity, but people and social media as well. All of this negativity leads to a destructive mindset and affects the quality of our life.
The reason why I’m writing this post is because I feel as though in the past few years I’ve been surrounded by people that were going through mentally hard times and always tried to seek a significant other or a momentarily dose of numbness just to fill the void of emptiness or loneliness they feel about their lives or about themselves. Everyone is suffering in their own way and it’s just a part of life. But in the end, you have to realize you have such a powerful ability to live life the way you want it to be and when you come across a undesirable feeling of sadness—the only person who can pull you back up is yourself and you really need a positive mind set in order to change the way you feel.
So by now
it shouldn’t come as a surprise to most, but we live in a time where we can argue that we’re all on a pretty even playing field. The Internet and technology that we all have access to enables us to reach far and beyond anything that came even 10 years ago… the advice of "just do it" is something that I’ve actually put into practice time and time again, but there’s one main important thing to consider... Audience!
This Article is written on my website for Artists and Creatives, but it is useful for anyone.