There once was a Hare and a Tortoise who lived on different sides of the tracks.

I read somewhere that it is a good idea to do something that you like when you wake up in the morning. Whether it’s read a passage from religious literature, draw, do yoga, pet your animals or even just sit with your thoughts in a quiet space for 10 minutes. Easier said than done.

The long day in the secluded office on the second floor, cornered by inanimate objects and occasional counterfeit smiles; put a distressing dent in my evening routine. Having made a conscious choice to be on positive side of things, this was definitely an unexpected challenge to my awareness. However, afternoon radiance can also afford hopeful sparks in your life.

This week of my life I was transforming from the inside out yet again. All week, thinking about and listening to and fixating on the same things as I let myself molt and reveal something about myself I had been unsure of for years.

This is the first of what I certainly hope to be a fun adventure in a new platform for people like me like to create. Am I perfect? HA! I'm far from it, but I love to write, and I love to share my thoughts and adventures with others.

In October 2019, I spent two weeks on a psychiatric ward.

A few years ago, I heard the Bobby McFerrin song, "Don't Worry. Be Happy." I thought nothing about it at the time. Nice tune. I was no Bobby McFerrin fan, but I have to admit that he came out with a nice tune. People were singing it and enjoying it as well as they should have. That was way back in 1988. Hard to believe that it was almost ancient history.

So, my family and I are all getting new phones tomorrow, and today, I had an experience that I felt was worth documenting. As some backstory, we are upgrading our iPhone 6es to the iPhone 7, but the deal we’re getting means that I in particular will lose half of my phone memory. I knew it would cause some problems when trying to transfer the data to the new phone, so I had to make some decisions. I went through and deleted pretty much every app I don’t use every single day, but even then, I was still using over the capacity of what my new phone was going to have. And I realized what was taking up so much space. My photos.

I was on time. After a busy, well-paced morning I had a few moments to pull my car over and check emails. On a quiet, familiar, local South Australian road I did just that. Pulled over in my car, carefully into the gravel.

I awoke this morning, well before the sun rises, as usual. I greeted the day by kissing my loving husband of 19 years, best friend, and soul partner good morning. I thanked the universe and the powers that be for all the wonderful people and things I have in my life. We both slipped gently out of bed, took a deep breath, and a good stretch. I then asked myself two very familliar questions: What will the day bring? Am I ready to take on the challenge, and set my path? We then began our morning routine. As my husband prepared for his day ahead at work, and made our morning brew, I began loving our children good morning. We sat together, sipping on our cups, and sharing our plans and ideas for the day ahead of us. Most of it mundane, including chores, work plans, and routine. I then kissed my husband good bye, and sent him off by wishing him a good day. My focus then turned back toward my beautiful children. My 14 year old boy, Tanner was up and running. I made sure he was dressed well, cleaned himself up, and brushed his teeeth. Then came the time to send him out to the bus. As you would guess, he was less than excited. I sent himout the door by telling him to have a good day, I love him, and that he should always make an effort, and I'm proud of him. My 8 year old daughter, April was also preparing for the day. We picked out her outfit, brushed her beautiful, curly, strawberry blonde hair, with lots of "I love You". With hugs and kisses, I bundled her up in her winter attire, and sent her off to the bus. I happened to turn my gaze toward the east, and noticed a hopeful, beautiful, all natural site. The giant mountain range in full view of my dream property, was magical looking this morning. They were blanketed with a mist, and a faint glow of light behind them gently illuminated them, allowing them to glow with an almost purple hue. The sun was about to rise. Something deep within me was encouraging me to stand witness to this sunrise on this particular morning. As the heavenly body began to peek through the tips of the mighty, misted mountains, the colors in that plane began to transform. From glowing blues and purples, to the brightest, most vivid yellows and awe inspiring gold. The sun then began to reveal it's form. With it's body came sharp, concentrated beams of golden light, like lazer beams pointing directly at parts of nature that surround us, and things that are very important to my family and I. The energies that came from these incredible light formations were almost indescribable. I knew I had to capture the moment. I took my cell phone out of my pocket, lifted it toward the light and power, and hit the button. I was almost blinded by the light, but I could not look away. The powerful beams felt warm and inviting over my body, and it was almost like I was bathed by the light. My soul felt cleaned, and a powerful energy of loving hope swepted over me. At that moment, struggles aside, I had been given the answers to my morning questions. I was ready to not only face, but imbrace a new day. I was ready to take on any challenge, and forge ahead on the right path. I was granted the courage and confidence to take whatever was thrown my way, with a new hope to come out on top. My inspiration for this photo are the energies and thoughts and feelings I had while witnessing this natural, every day event. Some may call me a dreamer, because I have always appreciated and enjoyed the visual beauty of a nice sunrise or sunset. I realized that on this day, it was a little different. Something about it was a little more special. Visually, the beautiful, strong, directed beams of light that shined a path for me, and directed on the things in my life I hold dear, and dream about. Feeling the warm, blanketed, golden energy, giving me the fuel to press foreward with my dreams and goals. Within the golden lights, I was granted a feeling of hope for what is next to be. The joy of questions answered in that event was inspiring. The message behind this photo is something that I am grateful for the opportunity to share. Many of us, every day have mountains to climb and conquer. Sometimes in life, the mountains are misted. though we do our work to climb, the mist may keep a clear path from being revealed. However, if we can open our hearts and our souls to the bright light and the promise of a new day in our sunrise, it can light our path. We can all be granted the hope and courage to follow our paths, and be at our best for ourselves and others. If we choose to take in the light, instead of dwelling in the dark, we can do anything in our potential, and know who we are deep inside. The reason why I took this photo, and tell my story with it, is not only to inspire others, hopefully. I also decided to take this photo, and tell the story because sometimes I feel a little defeated, exhausted, worried, and just plain down or frustrated. I feel I need something such as the photo to look back on when these feelings fall over me. I hope that by having this reminder, I can remember those moments, and transform any negative, maybe even dark feelings within me into hope and light for the day. No apps, no editing, no HDR. The photo is completely raw, real, and uncut, straight from the camera on my phone. It is a real glimps of the experience.

In this picture you may see nothing more than a flower, and a obscure Yellow dress that I’m wearing. Although it seems bizarre and at best a mediocre picture; but this picture is so much more. It’s the epitome of when, so called “time freezes”. It symbolizes that moment when you just stop, and take in the beauty of the scenery or object in front of you.

I have been in many places and sometimes with many people, and sometimes with no one. No matter the circumstances involved I was, and I still am, in pain. I mean pain of every kind and on every degree. Physical, emotional,mental and even spiritual. From a little itch, which is also a minuscule form of pain, to the severe make you pass out from the intensity kind of pain. Yes the degrees of pain also transfer to the mental or even spiritual sense. I have felt such a high degree of mental anguish I just shut down and slept. Sometimes for hours and sometimes for days at a time. For no other reason than the pain I was experiencing was more than I could take. Many year ago after having been through an awful amount of trauma I blacked out, and cried hysterically while claiming "the bad people were coming to get me". This was followed by another 10 to 12 hours of sleep. My children were convinced I had truly lost my marbles. Who could blame them? I mean I don't remember anything about it, let alone remember having done it for 6 hours. I would say that is the longest and most severe level of crying ever done, or even heard of, in my entire life. That for me was a whole new level in releasing inner pain or suffering. It is amazing how we respond to pain. You are probably wondering how that can be useful right? Well to be honest it was a learning curve to the extremes of human tolerance to pain. Most people hear someone is in pain and automatically to then it is physical. So I was able to learn that saying "I'm in pain" requires a follow up question of "what kind of pain?". Empathy is a good way we use our pain, without empathy how would we ever relate to another? If you have gone to medical school that too is another way to use our pain. Because our pain can and will drive us to do a wide range of things. Things we find out to be embarrassing later when the pain finally goes away. We do this to hopefully make the pain go away. I personally no longer get embarrassed by the lengths I will or have gone to in order to relieve my pain. I have gone through many years of multiple layers of pain, and in doing so realized why people with terminal illnesses tend to commit suicide near the end of the disease. A human being can only take a limited amount of pain, regardless of how big and bad you claim to be. More often than not the bigger and badder the less tolerable they are to pain. I speak of many forms of pain again, emotional; most could not begin to process this type of pain. Mental; this kind of pain has been known to drive people insane, literally. Then there is physical pain; now not 1 person can take this kind of pain for very long at any degree. If you were to think about it though some of the most beautiful art, music, poems, plays, and novel's in all of history has come from some source of pain inflicted on some person. We would not be able to appreciate the good and beauty in most anything if we did not feel the bad, the painful and the ugly. I guess you can say it is all a matter of perspective, however I don't see it being anything else in this world. So we should all consider the pain we feel as well as the pain of others. Let that be the thing that binds us together, and not what has been tearing us apart.