Happiness, defined; things that help you find happiness, keep it, and share it with others.
The laptop was gently closed. She took in a deep breath and stretched her arms high above her head up into the air. Instead of throwing the laptop off the balcony, it was the least destructive, and calmest reaction she could think of at that moment.
A Passioin Within
For as far as I can remember I never felt, so what is called "normal". That word people may say is basically describing: With no special or distinctive features, "normal". That word is irrelevant to this day, nobody is normal. society throughout life has made many distinctions amongst all of us. categorizing, describing who is normal, who has potential. Diminishing others by using the word normal. You get the picture of that particular description. We all go through obstacles, troubles, tribulations in our lives however the case may be. Perhaps that one word normal is not in the normal range no more. Just for you to understand and for you to be at peace, that we are all different in every aspect of our lives. We are all different worlds meeting other worlds combining each one. Just because you are going through a life experience and the other person did not, does not make you less than who you are. Is what we make of them, is what counts in the end. How we see the world through our negative glasses or many possibilities and many chances. Just because someone does not see what you see does not mean they are wrong. Is always good to have a view of both sides of the coin. Like everyone else following the normal life the one that I thought was written for me. Always feeling like I had something special inside. Just alone existing being here is a privilege wouldn't you say? at times we may not see it that way. Hitting my nearly 40's and having nothing else, my focus on things that I had repeated once upon a time. I slowly came to my peace, sitting quieting my mind just listening to nature and the world around me. Taking a look at perhaps a flower or the moon, but with a different point of view. I started appreciating life, loving who I am not knowing nor opening my eyes to these beautiful things that we have. As I saw life for the first time, how before when the wind would touch me, I would feel it because I needed a breeze. But when I felt this breeze for the first time or I opened my eyes to the sky I saw so much beauty it filled my heart! I started describing life from a different angle than what I saw. Later on, embracing myself and loving every part of me is something I felt inside. Truly loving life, and then the most magical thing happened. I sat down and just started writing as if someone was dictating and I must write every word. My hand did not stop moving not for a second, is as if I was in a trance, and when I finally came to a stop, I went back to read, and to my surprise, I wrote poetry very beautifully in a different way. Ever since then writing has become part of my life, my passion my thrive. Without my writing I would not be able to express to others, nor let them see how they can also experience life in a beautiful meaningful way. My words of wisdom years of experience have allowed me to write inspirational words to help others come in peace within themselves. To find true love, not through others but within themselves. We are all complete, we don't need anyone to complete us, we were born complete. Our programming has been molded told we were not, but if you look deep within you will soon find out. Feeling perhaps like everyone else alone, seeking for the one, the one that brings the happiness, the one that brings the best out of me. Without realizing that all you have to do is activate your heart and you will become love, happiness, joy, and your future will change. Who you thought you were meant to be, is not who you came to be. Nobody would be lost, sad, mad, depressed if we all looked inside for that guidance that love. Depending on others or anything for happiness is not happy overall. Take that very thing that you feel makes you happy and object or a person anything. If you did not have that any more would you still be happy within? When you rely on nothing but yourself, happiness will follow you no matter where you go. Finding things that add to your happiness now that is a plus wouldn't you think? Yes, my life has changed writing expressing my true self, not hiding behind anyone. Realizing that I am not normal nor do I want to be, I want to be extraordinary you see! I want to reach my highest potential learn many things. You become grounded when you find that happiness inside, nothing nor anyone will stop you because you know deep down this is who you truly are!
Writing as a Sacred Act
Who am I? This is a question that so many people ask themselves. It’s probably one of the most frustrating questions you can ponder. And one of the most beautiful.
Running out of my Mind
I wouldn’t really call it “running.” That’s not what I do. There isn’t a quick and easy way to say “I’m off to disappear into another dimension for about an hour while also physically exerting myself, and I actually do this all the time but in a less official and noticeable way, but now it is official and noticeable, so I’m going to be blocking you out of my perception in exactly ten seconds.”
Those Little Mindful Moments That Made Me, Me
Time and time again I have come back to my craft room. It's my comfort place. My little slice of serenity, where I can get lost in the 100s and 1000s of stitches that soon create a piece of artwork, a garment, a scarf; you name it, I've most likely created it at some point. It's my happy place. A time just for myself, where I can forget about all my worries. Without it, I wouldn't be where I am today.
The Never-Ending Story
Stories. Stories are the backbone of existence. Just about everything that is, or was, began and ended with a story. Stories exist all around us, in our culture, in our community, in our religion, even in our family lineage. They’re how we pass down our history, how we teach our children, how we enlighten the masses. That television show you love to binge-watch? It started with a story. The song you listen to on repeat? It’s telling a story. Stories exist all around us, but where do they come from?
Stitching a Creative Journey
November 2019 I stare at my computer screen, desperately thinking of a hobby to do in my spare time that gives my eyes respite from looking at a screen. Gaming has been a passion of mine since I was a tot, sure, but being a system administrator and looking at a screen all day to solve helpdesk tickets has worn enthusiasm for digital consumption down considerably. With my library of books both read and unread standing stalwart on my bookshelf, they seem like the most obvious choice, yet I lack the energy to dive headfirst into a tale after an emotionally taxing day existing. I even considered re-investing in Perler beads before realizing the mess it's liable to make. I also consider picking up one of the existing mediums of traditional art I have stowed away – watercolors and oils I have had since middle school, or using colored pencils I recently invested in and could stand more use. My problem with these mediums is that I lose my desk for however long it takes for me to have the energy and will to see a work through to completion. Not to mention my current lack of self-esteem for traditional art has nearly crippled my desire to sketch, much less complete a work in which I find earnest satisfaction.
Happiness forge from depression
In my mid-20s I went through a chemical in balance and had a heavy depression. What I did to make myself feel better is go to the mall and see who I can encourage. Over time with trial and error. I made a saying that I use to this day to encourage myself and other people at the same time. Every time someone would ask me How I am doing I would respond I am doing great whether I like it or not. Because it was not what they expected me to say they let down there natural defenses and because encouraged and intern encouraged me. It was amazing some people didn’t understand and would ask why don’t you like it. So I had to explain that It’s a decide to be happy no matter what I feel some understand some don’t.
La vie en rose
One thing I've come to realize is that I don't need anyone to believe in my dream. The only person that needs to believe in my dream is the most important, myself.
Will you meet me in the eye?
Threading the needle does not always come easily to me. More often than not, I find myself all scratched up and poked through with tiny pinpricks or gaping holes before I re-member that it is the eye, not the point, I should aim for.
A stitch in time saves nine...
Charged with the ecstasy of being called off for the day, on a no-class day, I whip out my supplies and whip up my fairytale. Some days I think pink. So, a pink square cloth it is, an old shirt from my brother’s closet, and lots of glue, and threads and yarn. Then I draw; trace my drawing on the shirt and halfway through embroidering the outline I remember the pieces of tulle I have left from the dress I tried to cut short one night. And oh, the beauty of multiple dainty layers! On goes the tulle, and on goes a picture of my face on it. And as Picasso tried to fathom once what truly is a self-portrait, is it what’s on the face, what’s inside it, or what’s behind it? So, I represent all three.
Tell Me a Story
One jittery day is all it takes to spark up a passion. It came easy to me to put my other feelings on paper rather than talking it out. It made sense to me and I loved using aspects of my own life to breathe life into characters. I would even spin vent pieces and turn them into narratives, making up a world with brand new rules, even if I discarded it the next day.