I AM A PERSON GOING THROUGH SPIRITUAL EMERGENCE

Where do I go?

Where do I get support in our modern times?

Who do I turn to?

Who do I believe?

Is this really a genetic disorder or a forever curse?

Or is it deeper?

Am I able to get the support I need, from the basic systems around me that deny my experience?

Am I able to get relief from suppressing the symptoms with pharmaceutical formulations?

Is there anyone I can turn to that knows a thing about this, that can help set me on the right track?

Is there somewhere I can go to calm my frazzled system, and sort through the waves my psyche sends me for release?

Is there someone I can share this with, that can relate to my experience, or can pass me onto recommended persons?

Where do I go when my experience doesn't fit the norm?

How do I deal with something we don't even speak about?

How do I get through to the other side on my own?

I am me. And I am you. You that is going through this, on your own. In our modern societies.

You that has lost your home because you cannot keep a job any longer.

You that is trapped between four walls with electrodes in your brain, searching for where it hurts.

This is a ballad for you, you that was pushed out of society. You that has no home, no people to turn to. You going through the motions, while breaking on the inside.

They tell you it is normal to lose your soul, only because they don't admit to you having one. You lost your marbles and they gave you medication, now you don't know which came first. The side effects or the agony in your mind.

Is it a mind thing?

Is it a body thing?

Is it a soul thing?

Who knows?

Who do you talk to, when your world shatters?

When all you see are shapes, when colours blend in, when you can't seem to make it home?

What do you do with this onslaught upon your senses, this cracking, breaking and bending? What do you do with this terror, this confusion, this pain?

I know that in times past, and in some places still, they cradle our pain.

They walk us through the process of emergence.

There are mentors, there are means and there are traditions that celebrate our uniqueness.

I know that in some places, we are not sick, we are healing.

We are not broken, we are healers.

And I want to know, now, really, where can one still go?

What is in place to support this journey?

I want you to know you are not crazy.

I have been through this before, am still going through it.

It comes in waves, and the psyche heals, and you come back bearing gifts.

But oh my soul hurts, where do we go when we are lonely?

Who do we turn to and tell the truth?

How do we cope with what we are told is a burden?

How do we come back lighter?

I am here and I see your struggle.

It is in my blood and my very being to collect stories and tools of wisdom, to share, to ease this, and to make a space where we can be supported through this spiritual awakening.

You are not sick, the world is just overstimulating.

You are not wrong, you are just out of balance.

As once was said, it is no measure of sanity to be well adjusted to a sick society.

Wear your badge proudly, friend.

I light a candle through our rough dark nights.

I wait by the window for the dawn.

I see the poetry in the blisters on your flesh, the blood dripping, and the broken history.

I see the song in the misery, the disjointed words, the suffering on a level, most will never touch.

You are art. You are song. You are dream, myth and wisdom.

Most of all, you are human.

And you need somewhere to go when this happens.

You need someone to walk you through.

You need to know this is normal.

And given tools and facilitation to make it easier.

Not ostracised and given labels

I am here on this journey, eager to know what lies at the end of the road. I am ever in service of that which beyond you beckons, speaks through your body.

I have danced my dance with mental illness stigma. I have swallowed that trauma whole. I have been asked to leave, I have been left, I have been broken and laughed at.

I have danced that dance well, it is dear and near to my skin.

I have a tender spot and infinite love for you that goes through this. And through our collective effort of dream we will birth a solution. We will birth a haven, a new line birthed from the cradle of civilisation. Eons old practices, rebirthed through our flesh.

We are the new incarnations of the ancestors and the wisdom etched into their skin.

We are a new wave of old demons come to be exorcised in a space just stressful enough for us to lose our minds.

We are every person that has ever fallen off the wagon, slipped through the cracks, lost a job, been turned out on the streets, bled to death.

We are one. And we are many strong.

And we are in this together.

Even in our little far corners, we are in it til the end, unified in our experience of suffering and grace.

I will help you sing your song.

I will bring this ship to port.

For every man, woman, child that has not been able to cross that bridge, I will span continents, my body a resplendent carpet spread for your weary feet.

I will bleed, if with my blood I can fertilise forests that surround your isolation.

I will sing this song, until I can no longer sing, and other voices raise, too, in tribute to our collective plight.

Our shared experience of consciousness shifting, of disasters birthing new worlds, and new ways of relating.

I will not stop until every crisis is met with the songs of love, and the arms of love, and the surrender is a welcome blanket that melts our resistance.

I will not leave you in the dark.

I will not leave you in the cold.

I will not abandon you on our mission.

We are emerging, we are gloriously awakening in not so clean breaks, and not so steady steps.

I am here for you.

I am here with you.

Creating new traditions to supplement what our ancestors have always known. Spaces for healing, mentors for support, and frameworks for celebrating our unique divinity.

If ever your song becomes weak and feeble in your throat, your mind feels fractured, and you cannot bear to go on, know that I am a safe haven for that storm.

Many have held me and truly seen and their support has become bridges of light, across realities I never could span on my own.

We are one, and many strong.

I am here, I am going through this.

You are here and going through this.

We will find our way home.

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