Ditch The Age Angst. Embrace Its Power And Potential Instead

I was once asked if I "knew any elderly people who had tried new things and become very successful at them". As I am always championing being older, having enjoyed it since I was 50, I guess that person saw the question as an appropriate one.

However, I don’t personally know of many ‘elderly people' in that respect, as most of the ones I know do not see themselves as 'elderly'. They regard themselves as people of different ages enjoying their lives in the best way that suits them. Again, it all depends on what one defines as ‘elderly’. In Britain, to be ‘elderly’ you are likely to be near 90 years old, because people are living much longer now, and looking very good with it! In fact, one of our most famous actresses, of ex Bond-films fame, who is still working, though partially blind, is Dame Judi Dench, and she is 89!

As I said, I might not know anyone personally, but I have read about countless others who were most successful after 80 years old: like Eleanor Roosevelt, Nelson Mandela, and current members of the Rolling Stones and Beatles bands who have recently made chart-topping new albums!

Speaking for myself (who is regarded as youthful 60+), I am proud of my successes since passing my half century! In the past seven years, I have earned a doctorate for my work, I have learned how to publish on Amazon (and that’s no mean feat, believe me), even though I used to own a publishing business which was far less stressful and simpler to do. I have also written 6 books on subjects I have researched. Whatever I had difficulty with, I left by the wayside because we cannot learn everything, not even when we are young.

International icon, Nelson Mandela, at 71, came out of 27 years hard labour and isolation in a prison, having to learn how to interact with the public again, especially as president of his country. No doubt the healing process he introduced between the different races, and the peaceful transition of power, was due in no small part to his natural charm, people skills, and ability to grasp importance of the moment.

Another person I became aware of was an 80 year old dancer, Paddy (and her young dancing partner, Nico). She was unbelievable in her performance. She appeared on the Britain’s Got Talent in 2014 to groans and strange looks from the judges who had already written her off, but she showed them. As Nico said after their incredible dance, “Older people can do anything if they want to”.

Power and Potential

Many people fear ageing, putting themselves into useless age boxes, but there is nothing to fear about it because we just don't suddenly get older overnight. It's a gradual subtle process that takes us slowly with it, and I am too busy enjoying mine to notice the increasing years!

It is low self-esteem why many older people believe they have no capacity to learn new things. They compare themselves to younger people, perhaps telling themselves that they cannot do many things, and end up feeling worse than they should through negative thoughts, useless comparisons and fewer actions.

For example, just because someone else might have problems in old age, or look really bad for their age, does not mean that will automatically happen to you. Each of us is an individual, influenced mainly by our genes, our surroundings and, importantly, by the way were brought up, our life quality and the perceptions we have of our life.

Genes apart, ageing depends mainly on how we approach it emotionally. Approach it in fear, and a fearful accident-prone life is all you would have because one cannot have positives out of negatives. The body can only deliver what we think, so we are the ones who either age ourselves badly, or age well. If you tell yourself you cannot learn anything new, so be it. You have decreed it and set up a mental block before you begin!

However, in answer to the question posed to me, there are tons of people who achieved their dreams over 50 years and beyond, as listed in a gem of a bool called Tolstoy's Bicycle, by Jeremy Baker. These include Mario Puzo (at 57), who wrote Fools Die in 1978, which netted him a cool $2.2 million; Writer Boris Pasternak who completed Dr Zhivago at (67), then winning the Nobel Prize for Literature at 68; Peter Mark Roget (at 73) completed Roget's Thesaurus which he had started at 69 years old; Pablo Casals (84) who gave a cello recital at the White House; and British conductor, Sir Robert Mayer, who went on a tour of the USA at 97 years old with the London Schools Symphony Orchestra! The achievements at the various ages are mind-blowing.

For me, there are three main causes of the negative perception of ageing.

• First, and most important, is the brainwashing people have from society and the media around the ageing process.

As soon as we are born, we soon learn about the negative things we can expect from being older, because of society's fear around ageing. Everything is supposed to get worse, fall off, droop south or just stay droopy! There is nothing positive associated with ageing, so everyone is directly and indirectly taught to fear it, mainly because of its connection with ill health, physical degeneration, compulsory retirement and exclusion from the wider society. Not surprisingly, people come to dread getting older and precipitate it in more negative ways through their attitude. Yet I bet if we were told we would live forever when we are born we would have a different mindset about ageing!

• Second, we age through our THOUGHTS first and then our bodies follow.

We cannot get a positive life from negative thinking, especially through our useless labels. We need to get rid of that 'old' label and think in youthful terms. A guy I spent some time talking to kept saying "You can't teach an old dog like me new tricks." Not only did he look older than his age but he acted it. Whatever he kept saying was becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy because he certainly had a closed mind. If you see yourself as 'old' and 'useless', your body will happily oblige. That is why some older people are extremely youthful and agile because they refuse to conform to age boxes and simply live life as it comes.

• Third, we age through not sufficiently using our brain and other faculties.

Many people, especially when they retire, stop using their brains, memories and problem-solving faculties. They stop dreaming and aspiring, and often live a completely sedentary fearful life. Of course, the quality of their life deteriorates much quicker. If we don't use it, we lose it, and that is the biggest cause of both mental and physical ageing, the way we CHOOSE to live as we get older, whether in fear of learning and doing, or welcoming new experiences and living life as normal. That is one reason why I love disco dancing and still do it as often as possible!

We might age physically according to our natural years, but it is our thoughts, expectations and activities that determine how much we really age in every other aspect. If you have fears around ageing, you should ask yourself whether you are 50 years old or 50 years young, for example?

That choice could decide how much you do learn, and the actual quality of your future.

A great quote on ageing comes from Pablos Casals at 96 years old. He says: "Age is a relative matter. If you continue to work and absorb the beauty of the world about you, you'll find that age does not necessarily mean getting old. For me, life grows more fascinating."

However, what gave me the biggest smile was this one by the actor, A.E. Matthews. When asked at 93 years how he started his day, he replied: "I read The Times at breakfast, and if I am not in the obituary column, I get up!" (Source: Tolstoy's Bicycle)

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