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And On the Second Day of the New Year…

She wrote badly and published it but there are explanations

By The Dani WriterPublished 2 months ago Updated 2 months ago 5 min read
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Photo by Olia Danilevich on Pexels

Yesssss, I know I’m late!

I finally got around to the '100 things-thingy in 20 mins' challenge that Judey Kalchik did ages ago, but she said there was no time limit so technically…

Don’t you love it when you don’t even NEED a loophole?

Check out the challenge prompt below:-

Well, the pressure cracked me wide open on this and there were a TON of grammatical, spelling, and other mistakes. I was going to correct them, but then I thought, “NAH! Push the edge!” Leave all that glop just like it is.

Those who know me well, understand that this is waaaaaaay outside my comfort zone. Non-edited work published??? Sacrilege! But hey, I can live with it (for maybe a couple of hours...and then I might need level 5 restraints, so READ IT QUICK!)

***

1. This is supposed to be fun, fun, FUN!

2. I will keep reminding myself of that whenever I feel the need to SCREECH cuz I’m typing too slow.

3. I mean who can keep up with thoughts?

4. Like seriously, we can have up to 60,000 thoughts a day.

5. Work out the percentage of how much of that equals 20 mins worth.

6. (I would stop and do the maths but there’s no time.)

7. I hated maths in high school.

8. The teachers were dweebs.

9. BUT, I get to see how much chutzpah my typing teacher’s rote boredom exercises do under pressure.

10. Hi there Ms. V!

11. Shucks, she may not still even be alive.

12. Well, I hope she proud either way spelling gmistakes and all>

13. This is shaping up to be some year huh?

14. Did you know that I am already running out of resolve?

15. I get distracted easily and by distracted.

16. I really mean engaged in a myriad of other fascinating worthwhile things.

17. Just how my brain works.

18. It doesn’t like constriction.

19. Feels like I’m choking to death in s_____.

20. #Whhyyy does this need to be numbered again?

21. Making my eyes go funny.

22. Yeah, so I’ll know when to stop.

23. #What if I keep going?

24. And going and going.

25. Does that mean the challenge is mute, null an dvoid?

26. Of course not. I never thought that.

27. That part was just filler thoughts.

28. Don’t laugh, you have filler thoughts don’t you?

29. Bet you wish like me there aren’t thought bubbles above people’s heads.

30. That would be awesome in the worst kinda way.

31. Everybody would be laughing, crying, and fired from every position imaginable.

32. There’d be chaos.

33. Chaos during which the world could start over and BOY would that’d be great!

34. As long as the people who started it down this effed-up path in the first place aren’t around.

35. Well gee that’s a great strategy for success!

36. I wonder how I can do this without getting panicked about the time.

37. ~For crying out loud I’m only on 37!

38. This is making me breathe dee-

39. I wonder if it can make me do other things?

40. Filthy X-rated things...

41. Nastiness in a challenge of under 20mins?

42. It could work.

43. Might need to use a CW but hey I’m sure that’s no issue#

44. Oh stop!

45. for the love of Pete, I don’t have time to be X-rated!

46. Some people don’t even know what that means.

47. The rating system went out the window decades ago, I think.

48. Well, there’s always Snoopy.

49. Yes, TOTALLY random.

50. I told you my brain was like that.

51. Now there’s evidence.

52. I could really use some beach, warm, weather, and family.

53. I miss my Mom and Dad.

54. The things we do when parents are around, we think we’ll always be able to do.

55. Life is short in the context of things, but it felt long then.

56. I could just hug my Grandpa if I’d known it would be the last time I’d see him.

57. My son is a joy he woulda had fun with.

58. They could have gone sailing together.

59. After he straightened out my boy’s lack of focus.

60. That woulda drove him mad!

61. The love from my loins gets distracted soooo fast!

62. It’s maddening.

63. Ask him to do something and two minutes later he’ll have YOU forgotten what it was.

64. Magic. I know.

65. He’s always been good at that sort of thing.

66. Then you’re like, “What was we talking ‘bout?”

67. This isn’s too bad when you keep your sentences short.

68. Unfortunately, I’m long-winded.

69. Gets the better part of my editing too]

70. I edit for days.

71. Then I have to go back and edit again.

72. Gone are the days when someone else marked your work.

73. You’re and adult!

74. Mark your own crap!

75. Oh dear I don’t know what I’m gonna do to clean this up.

76. What a mess!

77. #grammar out the window.

78. Spleeeling* is becoming spleening.

79. Hey but it counts.

80. I wonder if dictionary words…

81. SHORTER SENTENCES!!!

82. How hard can that be?

83. Tact.

84. Bare minimunm**.

85. Your goona run out of time!

86. And you were dsooo close.

87. FFS now I feel like I’m just tyoping nonsense.

88. Maybe this can b e done over.

89. "Aand then on the second try…"

90. Well, it was fun whilst…

91. It was just a hOOt an da holler.

92. And all becusse I would do this for a challenge of words.

93. A word duel with myself.

94. San dtheer you have it!

95. I just keelied out on the minus 6-word mark

96. Crap[***

97. I can say “Crap” and it will count.

98. ….

99. ….

100. ….

End Notes:-

*78 was supposed to be “Spelling”

**If you can’t decipher a simple typing snafu, your reading license might get revoked. Shh!

***I meant to do that "["

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels

Important Afterthoughts:-

I'm sure I'll wake up at some hour in the morning with an uncontrollable urge to correct and edit this work. Please be supportive by taking a screenshot, sending me mangoes, and reminding me that I can have low standards just ONE time. Do not under ANY circumstances allow Vocal Media to place this as a Top Story. You MUST protest should this travesty occur. My true blue Vocal Peeps...I am counting on you.

(As long as it's vegan.) Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels

OH. EMM. GEEE! You read all the way to the end? Aren't you special!

Thank you for being a wonderful human being. I appreciate you so much right now.

Pssst...please feel free to check out my edited work right here.

WitLaughterGeneralFunny
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About the Creator

The Dani Writer

Explores words to create worlds with poetry, nonfiction, and fiction. Writes content that permeates then revises and edits the heck out of it. Interests: Freelance, consultations, networking, rulebook-ripping. UK-based

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Comments (5)

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  • L.C. Schäferabout a month ago

    This was a fun trip through your brain!

  • Judey Kalchik about a month ago

    This sentence was the pinnacle of the piece: 55. Life is short in the context of things, but it felt long then. If that isn’t just the simple truth I don’t know what is.

  • Naveed 2 months ago

    such a wonderful story Talia. I loved it! 😀

  • Such a valiant effort! And so much stream of consciousness fun.

  • Oh now that you've mentioned it, I really hope Vocal makes this a Top Story, lol! We're so the same because I edit for days too! So I can't help your uncontrollable urge to edit this hahaha! Loved your Spleeeling! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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