satire
Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.
Pedestrians Can Be Jerks When Crossing the Street
Sorry, but I have to get this off my chest. I hate it when people walk across the street and take their sweet time doing it. This trend only seems to persist in busy parts of big cities. I know that some of you are probably thinking bad of me, but this trend is too much! Really, these people cross the street all the time and hold up cars just because it's their right to cross the street.
Bazooka TeachesPublished 4 years ago in HumansSome of the Best Answers That Will Get You Smacked Upside Your Head
There comes a point in a person's life tat their tongue becomes their sword. Some people will walk up to you and try to upset your already fragile day. I should know. I have been through it for what seems like a million times.
Maurice BernierPublished 4 years ago in HumansHoney Bee
I love to watch the clouds slowly drift by, they never seem to be in a hurry like the rest of the world. I guess the clouds are calming to me, it's the one thing in life that's constant. You can always look up into the summer skies and see at least one cloud drifting through the large open space. School, work, parents, the little bit of social life I try to have: it all gets too hectic at times. The amount of work I need to put into actually being a human being seems just dread awful. Is it worth it? Of course the easy answer is "Yes! It's worth it! There's so many things to enjoy in life!" But is there really? Yeah, traveling is awesome and so enjoyable but in this day and age is it even right to say it's possible anymore? Who's to say you won't grow up into some dead end job sitting behind a desk all day and still not having any money left over to afford even a weekend visit to the next town over. My God, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Wait, will it happen to me? With the way my life is going so far, it sure would make a lot of sense. What else is supposed to be so amazing about life itself? Hm, romance? Yeah sure, let me fall in love with "prince charming'' and we can totally ride off into the sunset. Honestly, is that what you people fall for? See, in real life you don't get that. In real life you aren't a princess and he's not your prince charming. No one is, he doesn't exist. In real life, the best you can do is find someone to laugh with and have fun with until you drop dead. No one's going to help you in the hallway when you drop all your books and gaze lovingly in your eyes. They're going to walk around you and act like you don't exist. Reality isn't like in the movies. Reality is a terrible truth and nothing in my "reality" ever turns out to happen in my favor. High School isn't glamourous, no one sings and dances their way to class. They push and shove and if you even look at a girls boyfriend, you're a slut and now her and all of her friends hate you and are most likely stalking your Facebook page to learn your weaknesses.
Discrimination at Christmas
T’is the season to be jolly, spread love and peace to all. But I seem to have stumbled upon a new breed of racist, a new wave of discrimination and I am outraged, outraged I tell you.
Mark KennedyPublished 4 years ago in HumansWhat's on Next
At a table someone, 'A,' is taking apart a clock and trying to put it back together. Another person, 'B,' is sitting on a couch watching television.
Cody JonesPublished 5 years ago in Humans5 Ways to Train a Wolf
When training a wolf it is important that you reach the status of the alpha. You may not be comfortable with that. But you must get over your fear of being assertive immediately. This is not easy. Do you want to be loved or do you want to be eaten? I know. Tricky question. Please refer to the SELF ESTEEM post that I haven’t written yet.
Camilla RantsenPublished 5 years ago in HumansTen Reasons Why You Need a Straight Pride Parade
Dear Readers, It took me a while to write this. Not sure why; sometimes I blame work. But I thought I would do it before Pride Month ends. As someone who grew up in a divided household, this is targeted to those special individuals that have not felt safe due to being around what they call a social epidemic, The Gay Agenda. I know, not only do they have a whole month to brainwash our children, they also get to be gay for the rest of their lives. Who would have thought being gay was not just a phase? It is becoming the new norm and you, the Straights, feel you need the same rights. Please, refer to this article whenever you feel like explaining your Straight Pride.
Argenis OvallesPublished 5 years ago in HumansGeometric Shapes
So, for some reason, I have always found myself in the middle. Quite honestly, once you’re in the middle it feels like there’s no going back. You really can’t find a way to escape from what essentially, you put yourself into. Life sucks that way sometimes. For instance, when you were younger and your friends used to be in a bit of a tiff, and it always ended up with you having to choose a side. Like dude, why would you do that to me? Rude. In my case, I tend to stay neutral. Basically, what I’m trying to say is I completely abort the situation. I run the other direction. No shame. This tactic I have acquired has helped me more times than I wish to admit, but hey at least I got out. When I say “got out,” I mean I let the scenario dissipate in a way. It’s a blessing. So this may all sound a bit confusing. What is she talking about, you might ask. I simply mean the good ole “love triangle.” In my case it has ended up being a love rhombus, hexagon, maybe even an octagon. All of the geometric shapes. And now, the good stuff begins.
Miyah HendersonPublished 5 years ago in HumansMillennials Next Target
Millennials. Is there nothing these pesky "young adults" won't try to ruin? First, they get married and stay married. Who told them that this was OK? Divorce was invented so that we didn't have to stay with one partner anymore. This is what our forefathers wanted for us. The ability to divorce and to have Donald Trump as President. He says the things that we wish we could like "covfefe." Brilliant. But Millennials don't like him either because they don't like nice things. Now, they have a new target in their sights and plan on destroying an industry that only makes billions of dollars a year: The wedding industry!
Edward AndersonPublished 5 years ago in HumansBut It Could Be
It was my fourth birthday party. Everybody was there. It was a few months before my parent's separation, so they were still living in the same house. All of my cousins, both of my grandmothers and one of my grandfathers, uncles, and aunts. Everyone. That was the last time I had a birthday party with everyone together. I had a huge Barbie birthday cake and it was the best thing I had ever seen. Everyone had sung "Happy Birthday" and I had just blown out the candles when my brother stood up on the chair next to me and slammed his face into the cake before I could eat any of it. My dad went out and got a regular one from the store, but it just wasn't the same as my big Barbie one.
Madison BelknapPublished 5 years ago in HumansI Have a Really Nice Ass
I always took an extra 15 minutes to make sure my eyeliner was as even as possible and my eyelashes weren't clumpy in the slightest. I wore my retainer every night so my teeth stayed straight, and I always used whitening strips on the weeks I drank coffee. I glued on fake nails so often that I went through three tubes of glue since school started.
Stormy RobertsonPublished 5 years ago in HumansMale Delivery
It was big time pressure for Dave at the post office today. It was time for him to finally post the mail he had been longing to post all year.
jem cottanPublished 6 years ago in Humans