I am apart of the select few humans that believes that no one is born inherently good nor bad. I believe in the situation at hand. I firmly believe in change. I mean, is it really possible to be born with a “bad bone” in your body? All cliches aside, it’s a serious inquiry that people should probably put in perspective. I think these are all traits that we begin to acquire in the circumstances that we find ourselves immersed in. For instance, if you were born into a family that isn’t particularly well accustomed to the social justice system, well, hate to break it to you, but you might not be either. By all means, please try and attempt to break the normality that your family has enforced upon you. Honestly, we would all rather that occur than having you simply fitting into the given mold. This goes for other instances as well. If you are surrounding yourself with people who are the epitome of tree huggers, and you're just not vibing, I don’t know, find people that would still hang with you if you forgot to recycle the paper plate.
Remember the days where absolutely nothing mattered? I’m talking about being six years old and not giving a damn. Life was purely lollipops and rainbows. Well, for the most part that is. The days where you would chase a boy around the playground, and that would be your way of showing your utmost admiration for him. It was always mutually understood. At age nine, I began writing emails. Not just any emails though, long novels about how deeply “in love” I was for whatever boy gave me remotely any attention. Pretty ballsy I’d say. 13 was a time to be alive. I was asked out by a kid in the orchestra room because I told his best friend that I “really liked him.” A direct source. Basically, what I’m trying to get at is this: What the hell happened to ruthlessness of our youth?! Why am I terrified of rejection? Why do I get choked up over the thought of verbally expressing my feelings for someone? So many questions, 21 years, and I still don’t have this shit figured out.
So, for some reason, I have always found myself in the middle. Quite honestly, once you’re in the middle it feels like there’s no going back. You really can’t find a way to escape from what essentially, you put yourself into. Life sucks that way sometimes. For instance, when you were younger and your friends used to be in a bit of a tiff, and it always ended up with you having to choose a side. Like dude, why would you do that to me? Rude. In my case, I tend to stay neutral. Basically, what I’m trying to say is I completely abort the situation. I run the other direction. No shame. This tactic I have acquired has helped me more times than I wish to admit, but hey at least I got out. When I say “got out,” I mean I let the scenario dissipate in a way. It’s a blessing. So this may all sound a bit confusing. What is she talking about, you might ask. I simply mean the good ole “love triangle.” In my case it has ended up being a love rhombus, hexagon, maybe even an octagon. All of the geometric shapes. And now, the good stuff begins.