Honey Bee

I love to watch the clouds slowly drift by, they never seem to be in a hurry like the rest of the world. I guess the clouds are calming to me, it's the one thing in life that's constant. You can always look up into the summer skies and see at least one cloud drifting through the large open space. School, work, parents, the little bit of social life I try to have: it all gets too hectic at times. The amount of work I need to put into actually being a human being seems just dread awful. Is it worth it? Of course the easy answer is "Yes! It's worth it! There's so many things to enjoy in life!" But is there really? Yeah, traveling is awesome and so enjoyable but in this day and age is it even right to say it's possible anymore? Who's to say you won't grow up into some dead end job sitting behind a desk all day and still not having any money left over to afford even a weekend visit to the next town over. My God, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Wait, will it happen to me? With the way my life is going so far, it sure would make a lot of sense. What else is supposed to be so amazing about life itself? Hm, romance? Yeah sure, let me fall in love with "prince charming'' and we can totally ride off into the sunset. Honestly, is that what you people fall for? See, in real life you don't get that. In real life you aren't a princess and he's not your prince charming. No one is, he doesn't exist. In real life, the best you can do is find someone to laugh with and have fun with until you drop dead. No one's going to help you in the hallway when you drop all your books and gaze lovingly in your eyes. They're going to walk around you and act like you don't exist. Reality isn't like in the movies. Reality is a terrible truth and nothing in my "reality" ever turns out to happen in my favor. High School isn't glamourous, no one sings and dances their way to class. They push and shove and if you even look at a girls boyfriend, you're a slut and now her and all of her friends hate you and are most likely stalking your Facebook page to learn your weaknesses. 

Life isn't beautiful. You don't get what you want, you don't get what you need, you just get things handed to you day after day until after a while, you want to pull your hair out because life, your life, is shit. I mean, who cares? I'm just some small town teenager that's dying to get out of here. If you're wondering what that looks like, check Tumblr, we're everywhere. I'm a cliche, not so good, not so special, not so cute, seventeen year old girl with no hope for anything special to enter her life anytime soon. I guess you could say I'm a typical "nobody." Now why would anyone want anything to do with a nobody? Seems kind of silly to imagine myself with the cute boy from chemistry class, chances are he'll never look at me, he'll go through high school without even asking my name, and I'll never see him again after. That's reality.  That's what happens to people when you put down your book for five seconds and stop romanticizing the "quiet girl."