Holy Water

“Someone ran away with her innocence.”

From the first time I heard the song “Holy Water” by country powerhouse duo “Big & Rich”, it reached out and grabbed me by the heart. I listen to a lot of music; it’s my companion as I go through the day. Seldom does a song catch my attention like this one.

In the song, there is a line which states “Someone ran away with her innocence..”. To me, this is a very profound way to describe what an abuse victim goes through. The abuser takes away the victim's innocence and self-worth, regardless of the type of abuse, and even if you survive, it never leaves you. Even ten years later I still carry the scars.

“Somewhere there’s a stolen halo. I used to watch her wear it well”

Abuse, in any degree, takes the radiance from a person’s world. The outcome of which leaves a dull, lifeless world that makes the person feel as though life is not even worth living.

“I can only imagine what she’s feeling as she praying, kneeling at the edge of her bed”

If you have never been in an abusive relationship, a person can’t understand the effect it has on its victims. Calling someone a survivor is not to be taken lightly. People are affected and cope in different ways, but you never overcome an abusive past.

Some work through their issues and learn to deal with the things from their past.

Others try to pretend they aren’t affected.

I’m a little of both. I don’t try to work through my issues, but I don’t deny they aren’t there. It’s hard to ignore some of my “quirks” as I like to call them. Far too often, they invade and interrupt my daily life.

“She wants someone to call her Angel, someone to put the light back in her eye.”

In its wake, abuse leaves a person seeking to fill a void. For me it meant I have spent my whole life seeking someone to love me, just as I am, to accept the person I am, and to tell me I am enough.

When you spend your whole life not making the grade, having everything you do get shot down and deemed worthless, it’s hard to force yourself out of that mold and to see yourself as a worthwhile human being.

“She needs someone to hear her when she cries, just needs a little help to wash away the pain she’s felt”

Abuse is probably one of the most isolating things that can happen to a person. It’s hard to find people who understand and are willing to accept the challenge of dealing with a person with a complicated past. Many think they are up to the task but soon find themselves in over their heads.

“She says, “Take me away, then take me farther. Surround me now and hold me like holy water.”

There are so many times I would like to be taken away from the hurt and suffering of my past, but I know there is no way to escape it, I can only attempt to work through it daily. I have to make the best out of what life has given me.

Abuse takes a heavy toll, one which a victim might never recover from in their lifetime. Not even the family and loved ones of a victim might often understand the impact of abuse, leaving victims feeling misunderstood and isolated. When this song came out, it immediately connected with abuse survivors, as it expressed their pain and reassured them that someone out there comprehended their challenges.