10 Relationship Secrets...
From the Husband of a Relationship Advice Expert
I am married to model and advice blogger, Liz LaPoint, and occasionally people will ask me what it is like, how I landed such a smart and sexy catch, and what my secret for keeping her is? Now, I am hardly qualified to dole out relationship advice, nor am I the world's greatest husband, but I will share what I believe are important components in maintaining a lasting, healthy and happy relationship.
Learn to Cook!
Cooking is easier than it seems, and worth taking the time to master. Human beings love to eat and bond over a great meal. My dad was a good cook and since my mother worked nights, he cooked for my sister and I nearly every night, and eventually taught me to cook so he could work in his garage while I cooked meals. I was able to get jobs cooking in diners and restaurants in my twenties. It only took a couple of times cooking for a date or steady girlfriend and see the satisfied look on their faces when they tasted my delicious meals, for me to realize how beneficial being a good cook was. My wife is a great cook too, but she is so appreciative of the meals I cook. Since we are both vegetarians with a love of international cuisine, we are constantly learning new recipes and creating new favorite meals.
Liz and I massage each other's backs and feet every single night while watching television or talking. If we are watching a movie, we switch halfway through it. I call this recharging our love batteries. The importance of non-sexual touch in a relationship is as vital as sexual touch. You never lose that closeness if you are re-connecting and giving each other stress relieving massages.
Share the Chores
Our mates/spouses appreciate us so much more when we help out and make their lives easier. I cook and Liz does the dishes. She vacuums and dusts and I do laundry. We have a wonderful unspoken system of checks and balances that brings peace and harmony to our life. Treating our mates like servants is a sure way to create resentment and contempt, which kill relationships.
Build Your Partner Up & Support Their Dreams
I am my wife's biggest fan. I love her writing, I have worked with her as my muse and model for seven years, and we worked on her YouTube show for two years, and I genuinely adore her and what she is passionate about. I want to see her win and succeed. In this life, we make enough enemies and face outside obstacles and toxic people so it is essential that your partner is supportive, engaged and helpful. When you build a life together, there is less of a chance you will fall apart.
Keep Your Jealousy Healthy
It would be weird if a partner wasn't jealous at all because that would suggest that the individual simply didn't care. You shouldn't behave in a way that would make your partner jealous, and you shouldn't get upset with them if someone else is giving them attention or acting interested. It took some attitude adjustment from me to get used to being with a partner that was so absurdly beautiful that no matter where we went, all heads turned to gaze at her when she entered a room. (Now that Liz has been running her relationship advice blog for so long I am unfazed by the constant messages from strangers professing their adoration and attraction to her.)
Tell Your Partner How Much They Mean to You Every Single Day
Liz and I naturally tell each other repeatedly on a daily basis how much we mean to each other, how attracted to each other we are, and how fortunate we feel to have found each other. If you appreciate your mate, let them know as often as you feel it. I never tire of being told how much I mean to Liz, and I can't stop declaring my appreciation and love for her.
Communicate Openly, Honestly and Often
Liz and I argue like anyone managing a relationship, but our fights have decreased so much that I can't remember the last time we actually got angry with one another. Whenever I hear someone say "relationships are hard work" I think to myself, "You might be doing it wrong, then." When Liz and I express unhappiness with something in our relationship, we work it out and make a point not to repeat that behavior. We listen to each other and learn, evolving and growing together, and it makes for a harmonious and peaceful existence.
I Don't Like Anyone Who Doesn't Like My Wife
Plain and simple, but I don't devote time or energy to anyone who doesn't like my wife because she is easily the most approachable, empathetic and caring human being I have ever known. She is passionate, deeply intelligent and thoughtful. I would never maintain a relationship with a friend or family member who expressed dislike for my partner. Some might think this is a given, but I often see people keep company with people who don't like or respect their mates and I think it is a bad idea. I don't complain about my wife if we have a fight or disagreement. We are a package deal, so you either like us both or I don't establish a relationship with you.
Yes! Lots of it, as much as possible. Keep it fun, fresh and free. Listen to each other's needs and trust each other.
Don't Take Each Other For Granted... EVER!
You have one life, and if you are lucky enough to find someone who loves you enough to spend their life with you, treat them with the respect and love fitting of that devotion. Too many people enter relationships for the wrong reasons or settle and marry because they don't think someone better will come along. Choose your mate because you genuinely believe there is no one better, and you don't want to live without them.
I have learned a lot from being married to a relationship expert, but the most important thing I've learned is that love is the universal glue that unites us all together, and if you are lucky enough to find an amazing love like ours, cherish it because it is the greatest gift you will ever receive.