The Art of Building Anticipation

One of the most erotic and sexy things you can do with your partner is build up the anticipation, not just before sex, but before even the foreplay begins. It can be minutes, it can be hours, or you can go for the all day anticipation. However long it last... it often enhances the entire experience for both partners from start to finish. If done right, it truly is an erotic art.

Knowledge is Power

It is only logic that the more you know and understand your partner, the more intensely and easily you can build up anticipation within them. Even if you have been with your partner for decades, there are still new things to learn about them. There are new desires, fantasies, wants, and probably even new turn-ons for them. It's a simple fact... people change over time. Relearn your partner and use what you learn to spark that desire and to draw out the want they have for you.

The easiest and most obvious way to achieve this is thru communication. Simply talking to your partner and asking questions can go a very long way. Yes, this involves both you and your partner openly talking about your desires and your fantasies to one another. If you aren't sure how to approach this, then open the link for a previous post of mine titled, "How to Talk About Your Desires Without Shame" that is here on Vocal Media. Open it in a new tab and read it after you finish this post. After all, a key part of building anticipation is not getting distracted.

The Fun Stuff Starts Now

Now, on to the parts of this post that you are probably most wanting to read and learn about... the fun stuff. Now we get into the actual techniques and ideas that will help build the anticipation for as long as you may want. How long you build it depends greatly on your intent and your situation. If you need a little more sexiness, then a matter of minutes or an hour may do. If you want to fully spice up your sex life as a whole, then may even consider days.

You also must consider and decide what the payoff is. In other words, what are you building up to? Is the ultimate payoff intercourse? Is it simply any traditional sexual contact? Ever build up must have a destination that is being sought after.

Ideas for Erotic Anticipation

Of course, there is the tried and true method of leaving notes for one another. A lot of people think that the notes have to be graphic or blunt. You can go that route if you both enjoy it, but honestly, the notes just have to be honest and sexy. Remember, that romantic is also sexy. You can easily tell your partner in a note how much you want them, without being vulgar or too blunt. Even something as simple as "I want you" or "I'm thinking of your nude sexy body right now" or something similar to that. It's okay to keep it simple.

In fact, a great idea is to leave several notes in places you know they will find them. Make each note build on the last and turn the whole experience into a sexy game. Leave a note that says something like, "I am going to explore your whole body in 12 hours" and then follow through with the promise... and nothing further. Then leave another note somewhere new that they will find it that says something like, "I'm going to make you orgasm for me in 3 hours" and again follow thru in that time. Later, move the notes to written directions. Something in the way of "Wait for me naked in [room in your house] at 6pm. Say nothing until after, speak only through your sounds of pleasure." Trust me, the anticipation will be there. If you want to take it further then leaving a blindfold with the note with instructions for them be wearing it as well, often takes it up a notch or so. Get creative.

Let's Get Physical

If you want the build up and anticipation- the tease- to last for days, then you have to get creative. Now, if by days we are talking a week or more... then maybe consider everything but intercourse. You can explore each other and perhaps do everything else, but not have intercourse... all while occasionally teasing intercourse as you proceed.

For the guy, that means placing yourself at her opening and applying enough pressure that she feels it well, but not enough to penetrate her. For the woman, that means something like allowing him at your opening and rubbing on his member till it shines with your juices, but never letting him enter.

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A great and effective idea that may sound a little cruel, but works great, is the tease and leave method. Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. Walk up to your partner when they are not expecting it- but not interrupting anything important- and slow and softly begin teasing them in the way that you know works best for your partner. Once you have gotten them worked up about half way, but before the point of no return... whisper in their ear, "Soon" or "[time frame] I'm going to take you" or some variation, and then walk away without looking back.

Personalization is Everything

I will conclude this post by reminding you- and stressing- that every person is different and personalizing these ideas to your partner and yourself is a vital element to making them effective. This, again, is why the communication portion of it all is so very important. The better your communication with your partner, the better and more erotic and intense the anticipation and build up can be.

That's it. Next steps are for you to communicate with your partner, and then turn what you learn and know into actions and ideas that are sure to get them turned on and anticipating the payoff...whatever it may be for you both. Go, have fun.