A 35-Year-Old Virgin Woman Inspired This One

Not too long ago I started watching videos on YouTube from a woman named Lauren Harkins. If you don't know who she is, she has recently made a claim to fame a little by being a 35-year-old virgin woman and talking about how she is happy about it, why she is still a virgin, and so on.

Anyway, it got me thinking about, of course, what my reaction and behavior would be like if I met her and there was a spark. In other words, what would I do, say, think and feel if I met her in person and a dating relationship was started up. I thought about it for a long while before sitting down to write this post. I wanted to make sure I had it all worked out. As it often does though, my mind shifted it into a broader concept and thought process. A broader question and more zoomed-out conceptual view of things. Don't come for me... it's just how my brain works.

Brief Overview of the Mental Journey

It started with two conflicting truths about myself hit me at the same time in regards to that type of scenario. The first being that, of course, I would respect her choice and wouldn't want to ever push or be resentful over her choice. The second being that, I could never have a relationship without sex. It's not just me either, it has been proven many times that a healthy sex life is a huge part of romance and romantic relationships. Well... that led me to the concept and idea that I want to discuss in this post. Something for you to think about.

The Basic Realization and Truth

When anyone hears the word "sex" their mind automatically goes to penetration in most cases. However, sex includes and involves a whole lot more than that, if you are doing it right. If your entire sex life is just penetration then chances are real good that both you and your partner are very unhappy and unsatisfied.

There are a lot of very intimate and fun things that usually happen before, during and after the penetration part occurs. There is kissing, touching, caressing, and beyond all the way up to oral sex. Well, if you are doing it right then oral sex itself results in your partner having an orgasm when you go down, and you having one when your partner goes down. That is still sex. in fact, as long as you both know what you are doing... it's damn good sex.

The Idea and Concept

That being the case, what if two people agreed to have a relationship where everything up to and including oral sex... was their sex life? I don't mean forever, of course, I just mean both people agreeing that to start with they would consider this to be their sex life until they were both ready for it to go further.

Yes, I know, a lot of people would think of that and consider it going back to acting like a teenager or something and calling the "bases" again like some high school student. Maybe it is a little. To be fair though, perhaps that is what is needed in relationships these days. Maybe we need to go backward a little in order to better move forward. There are a lot of benefits that I could think of to this. Trust me, I'm all for sex. I'm not writing this out of religious belief or some prudish opinion of how sex is treated. I damn sure don't think that sex is gross or even that is should only be shared between a married couple. Not even close!

Pressure and Health of the Matter

Now, are there still health risks and concerns that accompany doing everything up to and including oral sex with someone? Yes, of course there are. You could still use protection for these things as well and would be better protected overall by the same precautions than you would be during intercourse. Of course, if you are needing and wanting that protection with the person... probably shouldn't be doing all of it anyway. However, one risk that is taken completely off the table, obviously, is pregnancy. I think we can all agree that being intimate with someone you are falling for and getting an orgasm without the risk or even possibility of an accidental pregnancy is a great thing. If the relationship goes south after you do... fine... brush your teeth, use some mouthwash and move on with your life.

Now, let's talk about the elephant in the bedroom... the pressure. Yes, this goes for both men and women. I would argue that the pressure for the man at the time of and during intercourse is reasonably worse, but there is a great deal of pressure on the woman as well. One of the pressures on both would be the risk of her getting pregnant. Well, this solves that one.

Then there is the dreaded and taboo pressure... the man getting hard. The woman hopes he does so they can do what they want, but also so that she doesn't wonder if maybe he isn't really fully attracted to her. The man is nervous that is may not stand up...just because the damn thing has a mind of its own often times. Well, this idea eliminates that pressure and that worry. Firstly, most guys will get hard during oral sex...and stay hard through the whole thing. That is, if there are no other factors like lack of sleep, diet, illness, and so on.

Now, imagine taking that pressure away from the guy and the woman. How much more relax and "in the moment" would they both be? How much more present and attentive to one another could they be? To put it bluntly, in case you didn't already know this, being nervous is also one of the biggest reasons that guys fail to get fully hard or hard at all. If you are both more relaxed, then the chances of him being fully erect and fully present with her... go way up dramatically.

When Intercourse Does Happen

Now let's talk quickly about when it comes time for intercourse to happen. Later on when you both decide that you are ready for that stage and for intercourse to happen... by then, you are both deeper into the relationship, more comfortable and familiar being together intimately and non-intimately. This means that both people are more relaxed, more into it, and probably even more in love and invested in the relationship as a whole. I'm willing to bet that these and other factors, means that the intercourse is even better and more positively intense than it would be otherwise. Sounds worth it to me.

Keep in mind, that I'm not saying that there is a time stamp on how long this last either. You could agree and have your relationship be this for a matter of months... weeks.... years... or however long it feels right for both people. It's your relationship, you two decide. No matter how long or short the time, though, it would enhance the pleasure, the romance, and the easing into the parts of sex that are most stressful both men and women.

Just think about it.