So I have been trying to write this piece for a while now. It hasn't been simple to say the least, so bare with me as I try to intricately delineate an answer to the question “Why don’t you have sex for fun?”.

At 64, I have a limited supply. The sperm-production facility runs at minimum capacity. Tattooed young men, 40 years younger than myself, can take on the heavy lifting. Three girls at once, and a full, thick screaming ramrod for each one! As a 24-year old my record was nine orgasms inside one hot MILF during an overnight stay. The usual. Husband away. Time to make music. We sang in choir together. Once she sucked me off while her husband was home, out on the porch smoking his pipe.

Let’s open this topic with a hard beeline to the point of what sexuality is versus sensuality. Sexuality relates to sex, the act of sex, and everything leading up to it. Sensual relates to the senses, and is about satisfying our appetite for visuals, sounds, tastes, smells and touch. You can be sexy without being sensual, but sensuality always makes you attractive on another level.

Note For Reader

I don’t mean to embarrass my Ex’s completely, but no one in my real life (except my best friend) reads these posts I’ve been writing so FUCK THOSE BITCHES!

As Shirley Manson once sang on the 2005 alt-rock album Bleed Like Me - “It’s our conviction, sex is not the enemy,” — at least that was so we thought.

This is a word that I've been called quite often in my few short years as an adult and unlike most people it never really bugged me. Now, I can't say that I fully agree with Mr. Webster's definition, mostly because I've always used these two words with the meanings switched. Last time I checked a prostitute was a person who got paid for sex and it sure as fuck didn't have to be a woman! To be honest, I've always thought terms like whore and slut were more relative to the person using them because much like an elementary school bully who's twice the size of everyone else in his class and has a gland problem, it's his way of feeling better about himself by thinking that he is the better person. Bam! You all just got schooled. :)

I haven't had sex in a month. Ugh, it hurts just to type it out... Now, I've gone far longer without it mind you but for some reason this month seems to sting a little extra. One old cast of mine had a bunch of post-its on the call board in the hallway with the number of days I had gone without... Obviously I was pretty vocal about it. And when I did a contract in the Mediterranean I went without it for six months while my boyfriend Cole waited for me back in Tennessee and trust me when I say that those drunken nights in Barcelona and Santorini were not always easy to get through. So I did what any normal self-destructive person would do and waited until I got home to cheat on him with a kid from the Hairspray tour and a yokel with braces who ended up looking like a decent guy 3 years later when he got the braces off and lost a few pounds (I'm not mean... just honest). And there have been more than one three month periods of unintentional abstinence, however I honestly think this is the longest I've gone without sex since 2006. Boo.

This night I was walking down MLK passed St. Barney's Academy when I heard a voice say "Hey, how are you?" I turned to look and a fine ass man was standing in the steps of the school. Chocolate brown with a thin goatee, violet contacts and a killer smile. "Hi, I'm good." I say back to him and he comes down the stairs toward me. OMG I'm thinking, damn this brother is fiiine and he wants to talk to me? I'm getting nervous as he approaches but he smiled and said, "I'm Johnathan, and you are?" I blushed and gave him my name. He said he had seen me walk by a couple of times this week while he was on duty at the school. "Yeah I go to school next door," I told him, almost embarrassed that I was still a student. He looked surprised too.

I was a bit late to the game in figuring out just how serious this pandemic stuff was. The cancellation of SXSW and shuttering of college campuses should've tipped me off, but I wasn't phased. My final romp through civilization involved a road trip through west Texas, 4 shows in dirty bars, a BDSM photoshoot and, most gloriously, an orgy with my favorite play group.

Have you ever described yourself or someone else as “clean” when talking about sexual health? It’s really common for people to use this kind of terminology when what they really mean is that they don’t have any current sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Most people don’t think twice about using this kind of language but such terms actually contribute significantly to the stigma associated with STIs. It is part of the culture that shames people for their sexual health status and makes others afraid to get tested, communicate their status, or have open conversations about sexual health. Stigma can have a huge impact on a person’s feelings of self-worth, the spread of disease, and the marginalization of people.