Polygamy... monogamy... three guys and me. For centuries a man having more than one woman on his arm was seen by all as the latest and greatest, the duke, the “playa playa!” I remember being in my early teens and stumbling across Def Jams “How to Be a Player” and thought to myself, “Can one really juggle that many (insert body part)?” Surely having the ability to do just that is a great skill that must not be kept for oneself. And now fast forward to today, in my late 20s, realizing that I’ve actually NEVER wanted to be in a relationship. Sure the world pushes it on you as the “norm” so you fall in line and follow suit. But after a long two years and some change in a relationship... which ended five years ago by the way, I’ve come to realize I’ve actually always been emotionally UNAVAILABLE. It’s honestly way too much work to be in a relationship only to end up out of it soon after. So now I’m right back to where I was six years ago, only now I’ve come to accept that I don’t REALLY want to be in a relationship, I just want to be entertained. So where’s my female version of “How to Be a Player?” I mean don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a connection with someone, but why not three someones... or more? I know as woman, they say, you’re the penetrated... not the penetrator (I hope that’s alright to say). So therefore having more than one sexual partner is frowned upon. Granted! You don’t want to be the loosely goosey of the bunch, but what if I space them out? Every two to three months?? Anyone?? All I’m saying is this, guys in general don’t like to rush into a relationship anyhow, so if the guy asks me if I'm seeing anyone? Can I just honestly answer, “Yes,” without the backlash? The moment I answered honestly, it was almost as if I was a cheater, that I have this guy over here and now want this one in front of me. When in reality neither one of us want a relationship anyhow! And no I’m not saying that I have intentions on sleeping with every guy I meet, but if one lives in Alabama, the other in California, and I live in Timbuktu, can’t I get a local friend for my local needs without the follow up scrutiny? I mean I’m being honest about all of them and I require nothing other than what they wish to give; and of course what we’re all here for either way is intimacy of the sexual kind. Does this make me a hoe? I just don’t want to deal with the emotions of falling in and out of love, it’s too much work. We can all get to know each other and be friends. And please don’t even bring emotions to the party or you’ll get kicked out!
I am on top of her, looking down at her, sweat dripping from my body, my heart finally pacing at a normal rate. There was no mercy in my eyes. My expression plain and cold. Cheryl covers her face with her hands and wipes her tears. I waited for her to say something, to tell me that what she did to me was unforgivable. I wanted to hear her say it but it took too long to come out and I was running out of patience. I climbed off the bed, satisfied by the pleasure I had, sex. I begin to put my clothes back but she grabs my arm and pulls me toward her.
Sex does not always guarantee love, and love does not always come with intimacy; all three of these things can be isolated into separate feelings and relationships, or if combined, and done correctly, can become the greatest love of your lifetime.
While it is my intention to turn you on with every blog I write, there are times when I have to bring something serious to your attention, as it is a relevant topic. I've mentioned the group I own on MeWe, called Mental Penetration—Kai Storm's Erotica Station, where I had a discussion about talking to your current lover about past love affairs. This topic came up after I saw a post on Instagram that said, "My past is none of your business! You'll either use it against me, or make me live through it again!" I had to ask myself, and others, about the validity of this post and statement.
If you have not read Part 1, I do suggest you go back and read it before reading this part as there are many references to that part.
I asked a fortune teller what my love life would look like. She looked me dead in the eye and said two words: "It sucks."
Recently I started dating again, and wow—there is nothing like putting yourself back out there to recycle your inner shit. It’s a challenge that I am cherishing right now. I have never felt too confident in the dating field, I know I am attractive in a bright and bubbly sort of way, not beautiful, interesting, and I am happy with myself and love myself after all these years, or so I thought.
Sleeping naked has always been my least favorite. I sweat so much that when I awaken, the sheets are soaked. God forbid I dream of him, then they’re even more soaked.
Your heart starts pounding. You've just wrapped up brunch. Your smile reflected in her eyes. Hands entwined together, fingers dancing with intimacy. You head back to your place to decide what to do for the rest of the day. You have an idea of what is going to happen next, or you don't. The truth it you haven't got a clue, this is brand new territory. The entire ride home you can’t help but laugh. Every note rings true, you burst into colors but in a pathetic way to remain calm you simply nod and smile. Afraid to let her know, let her know that she has you. All of you.
The sound of your name used to send shock waves throughout my body, informing me of your invading presence and the paradise that followed. Which was why I wasn't surprised at the inner turmoil coiling about inside me as I turned to catch your gaze from across the room. The gallery was crowded tonight, full of potential clients and investors, friends and family as well. And yet all that seemed to capture my attention was the wildfire in your chestnut eyes, tempting me to get lost in them once again.
Vanilla and BDSM are similar in some ways when it comes to what is too controlling. The main difference is rules and boundaries. In a vanilla relationship, you have boundaries and maybe rules to keep the relationship on the right track. The vanilla boundaries and rules may also be there to make sure there are no hurt feelings and everyone involved is on the same page. These rules and boundaries can be like monogamy: no being alone with certain genders (or people), and texting or calling when you arrive safe somewhere. In BDSM, some of the rules and boundaries can be similar to vanilla ones, but they go deeper than that. Part of the reason that the boundaries and rules go deeper in BDSM is because it's a power exchange lifestyle and the stuff we do is a little different. People have soft and hard limits and that's part of our boundaries and rules.