If you’re dealing with painful sex and vaginismus in particular, choosing the right lubricant is even MORE important than the right set of dilators.

Sexuality is an element that plays an essential role in both women and men. In addition to being vital, it also allows you to flourish and have better self-esteem. Impotence in the sexual domain is also considered as one of the factors leading to the deterioration of the image that those who are victims of it have of themselves. However, these sexual dysfunctions have much more important causes, especially in men.

Many people in the community are in the same situation at this point in time, staying home and socially distancing themselves from everyone else in order to slow the spread of COVID-19.

“Why has my sexual desire decreased?” — five words I hear strung together on a daily basis in my job as a sex therapist. Often, they’re accompanied by worry, sadness and sometimes even panic.

Not being able to orgasm can be distressing for anyone, regardless of gender. But for those who identify as men — it can be especially taxing. The male orgasm is often portrayed as both easy and explosive (watch any porn-film out there and this becomes abundantly clear). Because of this, male difficulty reaching orgasm is perhaps one of the sexual issues we stigmatize the most.

When I began writing about sex, one of the things I expected to hear a lot was how disappointed people were with their sex lives.

Sex is great. But for some of us, it’s not always the romantic, enjoyable, carefree activity it should be. Among other issues, a particularly common sexual disorder for men is premature ejaculation. Speaking as a man, I can say exactly how it feels to ejaculate earlier than desired: rough. It can be detrimental to man’s emotions as well as his partner’s. Not only does it disrupt intercourse, it can lead to feelings of shame or embarrassment, especially if it is a frequent occurrence.

Romance novelists and most of my female friends seem to think that the most enjoyable way of achieving orgasm for a woman is to have a man stick his tongue into her vagina and wiggle it around until he hits the right nerves a few times. Obviously, that’s not how they would describe it, but that’s generally the real-life version. For me, it’s much too messy.

Do you feel that burning…

I struggled with vaginismus for as long as I can remember and did not find out about the existence of this condition until a couple of years ago.

Years ago, Craigslist had a section for Casual Encounters. I’ll admit, I placed ads there on occasion, when I was looking for a friend with benefits without emotional attachment.

Fact is... I have one giant box filled with various dildos, vibrators and other sex toys of all shape, sizes and material types, in my storage space.  I've used them on webcam shows, videos... and, I sometimes wonder, how many of these are toxic for me, if any?