The Anxious Writer’s Letter
an attempt at keeping #trendy
The pressure to create is staggering. The clock is tickin’ and the audience is waiting. The lights are burning too hot, the pen is giving dirty looks, the empty page is a mockery.
It’s time to shine, and what do I have to show? Nothing.
Because I’m not a machine. (Nor an AI)
I can’t even begin to fathom how some writers do it, but I, cannot write daily. Cannot produce the quantity of content to stay afloat. And quality, is too often overlooked.
I write poetry about movements of echoes, and short stories where someone always dies tragically. I write about social injustice, and the lack of justice I allow my own self.
But regardless of the turmoil I’ll put myself through, I am not a machine. I cannot crank out the next hit, or even the next chapter, or EVEN the next word sometimes.
Sometimes, I just produce written silence.
The written effect of a pause, the sigh of resignation. Sometimes, I just don’t write.
I don’t always have something to say, and even more so, I don’t always want to say something.
Lips stitched shut, a pen without ink.
And I both applaud and pity the writer who can do it. Who can write daily, about anything and everything. I see you. I see you daily doing what I struggle to do even monthly.
And I know it’s not a competition.
But gosh, being a writer in this day and age is a marathon. There’s just so much out there. And who’s to even say I’m worth anyone’s time? Who says my words, my thoughts, my ideas, are worth it?
If a writer published a book and no one bothers to read it, did they even write?
So I write half eaten poems, and silly stories with way too much inner monologue. I scatter my words among friends and strangers, and hope that when the story dust settles, someone might want more.
But I see you, I see how you garner viral views and followers. I see how your content is sometimes empty, yet your wallet fattens. And I wonder, how do you have the energy? How do you have the discipline? The time?
I try to rationalize my lack of content (compared to yours) and blame it on working a full time job. I try to rationalize my lack of discipline by saying I’m busy “adulting”. But are those just excuses? Could I be doing more? Doing better?
I’d like to think so, just to keep a growing mindset and try to find some justice in myself.
But on the longer nights and even longer days, I might doubt myself completely. I might say, “what’s the point of trying?”
But,
On the sunny days, the days where my wife does my hair and I cook a magnificent dinner,
I might some find solace in the idea of maybe.
Like on Sunday mornings, when there’s a peace in each hushed movement. And the sun is taking its time exposing the world. It’s in those moments, where I might sit and allow myself to just float into the page. In that moment, anything is possible, anything could be said.
And deep inside my essence, I find the words and I find the stories. I hope you’ll find solace in them as I have.
For now though, I will keep chewing on these half baked letters and consider what I can write to you about. Maybe when I hit this writer’s block wall again, I’ll read this and write about sword fighting pens. And maybe I can set myself a comfy bed to fall back on when the anxiety of productivity strikes again.
Maybe.
About the Creator
Oneg In The Arctic
A storyteller and poet of arctic adventures, good food, identity, mental health, and more.
Co-founder of Queer Vocal Voices
Some other rad writers to check out:
James ❄️ TheDaniWriter ❄️ Melissa
RiverJoy ❄️ J. Delaney-Howe ❄️
Water is Life ✊
Reader insights
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More stories from Oneg In The Arctic and writers in Confessions and other communities.
Gils and Fur
Mermaids and werewolves. What do these two things have in common? Nothing much, really. They’re both popular in fantasy genre. Though werewolves have been more heavily featured in horror movies. Thanks to the various stories that have featured them killing and eating human beings. Our innate fear of what we do not understand.
By Raphael Fontenelle3 days ago in Confessions
Comments (39)
This. THIS!!! Resonance levels RAISED! My word Oneg. MY. EFFIN. WORD!
Very relatable thank you for sharing
Oh god, I feel the same. I can’t write daily and I am constantly worried about the quality of my work. If I write something that’s a hit my celebration is cut short by thoughts of “how the hell am I going to follow this?” It’s daunting, but it’s so good just to write for yourself, for the fulfillment it brings. Thank you for writing this piece from the heart. It makes me feel less alone in these these moments of self-doubt.
I not only hear you, but feel you. Congratulations on the recognition of Top Story. 🥰
what I wrote about confessions is also very good
Nice one❤️😍
Thank you for sharing this insightful piece on the struggles of being a writer. It can be incredibly challenging to feel the pressure to constantly produce content, especially when it feels like everyone else is doing it effortlessly. Your honesty about your own writing process and doubts is refreshing and relatable. Keep writing, even if it's just half-eaten poems or silly stories with too much inner monologue - they still have value and are worth sharing.
Soo soo powerful! I felt every breath and every pause. Mind and creation are very mysterious wonders.
I can't speak for everyone, but you just wrote what most of us feel. This was amazing!
This resonated very deeply with me! Congratulations on your Top Story!
Nice work! Congrats on the top story. I think we all have these feelings towards creating. Thank you for putting them to the page.
I enjoyed this, and went digging through your older stories. I love that you share what life is like in the arctic circle, somewhere I want to visit!
"If a writer published a book and no one bothers to read it, did they even write?". How relatable. I hope we can all support each other by reading what we have to say. If we just focus on ourselves, none of us will have learned anything new, or will be able to share our perspectives with others.
Beautifully written! I just found you, but scrolling through your work, I see many pieces I'm looking forward to reading! I totally understand writer's block/time issues - Sometimes things pour into my head and I'm scribbling notes on receipts or any papers I can find to compose when time allows, and sometimes I fight for words. Writing is definitely an interesting and personal process. Congrats on top story! Subscribed:)
Well stated. To me content is most important and I'm really trying to build a portfolio of work. I admire writers who can produce work daily or hourly, but have learned to keep that measuring stick away from how I write.
Loved your honesty in this piece. So much of it resonated with me. I feel like I go through bursts of having so many ideas and not enough time to write them, and then when nothing quite inspires me, lol. You need to go at your own pace :) It's working because your pieces are always amazing! Congratulations on Top Story!
Very nice
This was a great first read for me this morning.
You wrote the letter in almost every writer's heart. I admire the way your words float onto the page. It reminds me of Natalie Goldberg's book "Writing down the Bones." Even in practice and play, your writing has a quality that makes us linger. Well done and congratulations on your Top Story!
In this day and age it does feel like you’re up against a constant barrage of nothing- whether that is instagramers whoring for likes or writers constantly producing (ugh) content for cents, it can feel hopeless. I write for fun when the inspiration strikes me, or when general living of life allows. Great piece. Keep up the good work. Whenever you can. We can wait.
Excellent.
This is such a relatable piece. The pressure to create is so real because there are so many people doing it these days that it sometimes feels impossible to keep up. Especially when the comparison demons come out to rattle off in our brains. It can be incredibly hard to shut those thoughts out sometimes. Like you, I have very limited time to get writing in and when I do I’m always surrounded by so many distractions that I sometimes feel I’ll never complete anything worth a read. It’s a struggle for sure. It’s good to know we’re not alone though. I’m glad you wrote this!
I read this first thing in the morning. I like to think this made my day.
I want to quote so many lines and comment on how they resonated with me. But, I have a lot of blank or partially filled pages mocking me. Congratulations on your Top Story!
Excellent work my friend, I understand your plight. Hearted! Congratulations on top story!