I write about my life experiences. I write about complex ptsd, the agonies, the angst and my post traumatic growth. About Beauty, Truth and Honour and little vignettes of comfort from the spirits that love me: living and dead. I also Dance!
Memories: 19 and 20 May 2022
20 May 2022 Reviewing my memories, I am struck by how far I have come in 38 years. A long hard agonised road. A miracle that I even survived so many attempts on my life. The physical, the emotional and even the demonic destruction wrought by knaves.
Memories: 16 May 2022
16 May 2022 10:38 pm Heavy mist outside. I am going to bed early as I feel exhausted. Hopefully I have no trouble sleeping. I have been picking up vibes from a former lover this afternoon. (Trying to block it!) it’s draining and even if I do make contact, goes nowhere.
Memories: 11 May 2022
11 May 2022 Today and yesterday afternoon I worked at turning three Electroplated silver forks into hooks. The smaller entrée one I made yesterday bent easily but the two large forks were very very difficult. It took me most of the day with lots of annealing, hammering, …and swearing.
Memories: 10 May 2022
10 May 2022 Happy Birthday to my younger daughter Jasmine. It’s been a long estrangement now. But it is her choice. Crystal spent Mothers Day with me on Sunday and we had a lovely time. I am struck with the realisation (Jasmine was born on Mother’s Day in 1987) that Crystal has had to step into that gulf and be the love of two daughters: herself and the absent one. I am grateful for her not giving up on me and there were times our relationship was strained too.
Memories: 11- 15 April 2022
15 April 2022 The last piece of my birthday cake! Yeah baby. Grateful to all my beautiful friends who bless me with love, food, music, kindness, tolerance of my weird mystical ways, happiness and sweetness. Grateful to the spirits and ancestors that love me also. Grateful to our Mother, Gaia.
Memories: 5 April 2022
5 April 2022 Trigger warning: musings of a dying woman. 11:11 am. I have been down to Carindale shopping centre, to buy washing powder and a few other items. I am weak and literally feel like I am dying. I don’t know how long this dying is going to take (almost 57 years so far!). I have pulled myself up from deep dives and the parlaying of Lady Death many times before.
Memories: 2 April 2022
2 April 2022 6:33 am we are going to the Manly vet at 8 am. Poor Bobo has blocked anal glands. I haven’t slept all night for worry. (I had my own health issues of needing to pee all night so I feel fairly wrung out!) I don’t know if its stress or menopause that is affecting me so badly. But Bobo is a priority right now.