sydney .

L esbian

I have always been a generous and big-hearted person. Meaning I always put others before me, I am always last to myself. Even if it is my own birthday and it is up to me to choose what to do and where to go, I always go wherever others want to go. And if one person in the group complains about the place? I feel like such a failure, like I let them down. Which... when I re-read that now, sounds so stupid, but it has happened all my life.

High school changes you. As much as people do not want to admit it, it does. Even if its just the slightest change or a major change, we all go through it, and most of the time we do not notice it happening. It just seems to happen; one moment you're one way and the next, you are completely different. This happened to me in my high school experience. I did not notice myself slowly drifting from my friends that had been there for me the past eight years, I did not realize that by getting what I had always wanted, I had pushed them away.

I am bisexual, I first noticed things at the age of eight. I was in the third grade, and I was a little too intrigued by Samantha. I originally told myself that she's my best friend, so of course I'm intrigued by her, but then came fifth grade and I DEFINITELY knew something was up. I again, being a confused 10 year old, ignored the constant daydreaming about her, and tried to focus on Jaime, the guy that wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. I should cut him slack though, it was fifth grade, everyone is obsessed with their crush... hell I was as obsessed with Samantha as he was obsessed with me.

We met online. I know, how cliche. We were the typical "met online and fell in love" story. Most people don't believe the "fell in love" part, but it doesn't matter if you believe it or not. I fell in love with him and that's that. I lived in California while he lived in Texas. We met on a social media app and couldn't get enough of each other.

The society box.