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The Girl With Many Bestfriends

Is it impractical?

By sydney .Published 5 years ago 6 min read
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I have always been a generous and big-hearted person. Meaning I always put others before me, I am always last to myself. Even if it is my own birthday and it is up to me to choose what to do and where to go, I always go wherever others want to go. And if one person in the group complains about the place? I feel like such a failure, like I let them down. Which... when I re-read that now, sounds so stupid, but it has happened all my life.

Now what does this have to do with the title? Well the story part has nothing to do with it, but the first sentence of this does, "I have always been a generous and big hearted person." This is also applicable to my friendships, I have never been the one to leave a friendship on purpose, because I would feel some kind of guilt.

Over the years, I have had a total of six best friends. I don't really know if that is a little or a lot, but, for me, it's a lot. I wouldn't say I'm ashamed of it, but I'm not sure I should be proud of it either. Most people have one definite person they call their best friend, and that is not the case for me. All through elementary and seventh grade, I had one definite best friend, we'll call her A. A and I were inseparable because we had grown up together. Everyone knew we were best friends, and we knew we were each other's only best friend. But then middle school came and A made other friends, and faded from our group we had always hung out with in elementary. I don't necessarily blame her, because she is an extraordinary young women now, from what she shows on the internet. We slowly started to not talk to each other, and we both got the awkward "what happened with you and A?" and "what happened with you and Sydney?" and "I thought you guys were best friends?" questions. I never gave the same answer because, in reality, I never knew why we faded... it just happened. We weren't mad at each other, didn't get into a fight, or anything. Anyways, during half of seventh grade and all of eighth grade, I didn't really have a "best friend." I hung out with some people more than others, but I wouldn't have called them best friends.

It wasn't until the end of eighth grade when I realized I had had a new A this whole time, and didn't notice it, we'll call this best friend "N". N and I had talked constantly during and outside of school, we had everything in common, she really was my best friend. She had always been awkward with friends, and I knew she didn't use the words "best friend" lightly so when I called her it for the first time, I was kinda scared. But, luckily, she reacted great, and called me it back. We went into high school together, even though our schools were on opposite ends of the same city. I had felt the fading of all my middle schools friends that summer before freshman year, so I didn't know what to expect.

Those middle school friends and I hung out for about the first semester of our first year of high school, but then I found C. She was in my ASB class, and we sat next to each other because her last name started with an F and mine started with a G. I first talked to her because I had seen a 5 Seconds Of Summer sticker on her binder. We were the new besties, inseparable. I was in her quinceanera, and everyone knew of us as the dynamic duo. But then she started acting... not herself. She was dramatic about everything, when I texted her she was very very dry with the conversation, never seemed interested when I talked to her at school, was always "busy" when I tried to make plans with her. So then I refocused on some other friends I had in our ASB class, "An" and "D". I had known An since elementary but we never really talked. D and I had been in a club in middle school, but again, never really talked. I started talking to them a lot more, and then the whole fiasco happened. C and An got into a MAJOR argument that split our entire ASB class, and they had to have our ASB director get involved, and a few other teachers. It was then that I had to choose sides, C or An. I had already been fading from C, but that was still no valid excuse for me to cut her off entirely. It took me a couple of months to make my decision. I had to step back and look at it with a non-biased lens. I always felt like I had to put on a persona around C in order to "fit in" with her and her other friends, we had a few things in common, but we didn't look at those things in the same way. She was always bad-mouthing people behind their backs; she seemed really toxic. An was always genuine, he kept the same friend group for a lot of years so that told me that he was loyal, I was always at my weirdest and truest when I was around him, I could tell him anything without having to second guess it. When I thought about it in this light, the decision was clear.

For the next year and a half, I called An and D my best friends. Although all this was going on, I always had N in the background, who I ALSO called my best friend.

In April my sophomore year, I met best friend number six "E". E and I met through Twitter, and lived about 30 minutes from each other. Although we never ACTUALLY met until this past June, I quickly came to call her my best friend. We shared a lot of things in common, yet we also had a lot of differences. These differences complimented each other though, if that makes any sense—it does to us. We somehow got to calling each other "wife" and always talked about getting married, our kids, what our kids would call us, and my parents and her parents. For anyone that knew this, it would seem like we were dead serious about it because I am bisexual and she is a lesbian, so it is not like we are both straight and are 100 percent kidding. To each other, it is a real honest possibility and is something we take seriously. But I know there is a tad bit of kidding.

So that is my story of my six best friends. They are not all friends with each other, but they all have me in common. Not all six of them are current, only four of them are, but that does not make the past ones any less important. I am writing this for more than one reason. Firstly, to have all this in writing, and know my story straight without any grey clouds in it. Secondly, to know if having that many best friends at once is "impractical". Thirdly, to see if anyone else has a similar situation or story like mine. I encourage all of you to write about personal stories or life long stories that have happened to you. (:

friendship
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About the Creator

sydney .

i write when i feel so strongly about something that this becomes my only outlet.

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