I am a very creative person. I love reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and shows. Writing has always been a way for me to express my feelings and thoughts. I'm excited to write some of my stories here on Vocal.
I fell in love with a Felon
In a world full of judgement this is a story I never wanted to share directly in detail. Over the last two years since I began speaking with him I've posted about my feelings in a round about way, not giving to many details of our story. Through my writing on here it has brought me a lot of healing and a way to process the last two years of my life. I believe as a story teller, it's always good to share the good and the bad, but also the most vulnerable parts of your life. Not only does it help me heal, but I hope that my story could be comforting for someone else that might have went through or is currently going through a similar situation.
Declining my new Job
"I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I wish I knew what the reason was." Right before the new year, I interviewed for a new job. I ended up being informed 2 days before new years that I got the job they just need to work out my salary. I went into things knowing that I would have a pay cut, I just wasn't sure how much. I was willing to take the pay cut to gain experience and have a fully remote job, but I also knew I needed to be realistic. Well they came back to me the other day letting me know that it would be a 12k pay cut. I was devastated, but am trying to remain optimistic.
My Comfort TV Shows when Anxious
Anxiety and depression numbers have been on the rise recently. I do feel that this is partially due to the pandemic. I also feel that due to slowing down, and more awareness being brought to these disorders, it's helping people to realize that they may have been dealing with this for much longer than they knew.
A Beautiful Disaster
**A draft from last year, I was going to submit for a challenge but didn't finish in time!** If walls could talk I could tell all the horrors I've witnessed, I am a prison wall after all. I've seen everything from people completely breaking down, screaming for help, fights, having every bodily fluid thrown at me and the other walls, to the worst which is death in many forms. It's rare for me to see any sort of happiness, which is why when I do I tend to hold on to every detail, and those are the stories I would love to share with anyone that would listen.
Happy New Year
Happy new year everyone! I hope everyone had a fun and safe one! Mine didn't go quite as planned, as my family came down with a cold. I did however finish the Supernatural series. I had prolonged finishing it for years for many reasons but one was I just didn't want it to end. It actually felt incredibly fitting to finish it on this particular New Years Eve. I closed out a lot of my past in 2023, so many ties that should have been closed out long ago. I am trying to be as optimistic as I can about the upcoming year.
Everyday I wake up never knowing what the day is going to look like. Is today going to be a good and productive day, or will today be another day fighting my thoughts and irrational fears? Most days I am okay, as I have been better at managing things. Others are so bad just doing one small thing takes the most out of me. Ever since the pandemic I've gotten really bad agoraphobia and only leave the house when I have to, or feel like I can. The amount of self talk that I have to do sometimes is crazy to me, but I keep trying anyway.
Friendship breakups, do you think they are easier or harder to deal with than romantic breakups? I feel like this topic is rarely discussed, and since I just recently went through one of a friend of 25 years I wanted to weigh in on the topic. In our society we put so much emphasis on how hard romantic relationships are to maintain, and how hard they are to get over. In my opinion friendships are just the same if not harder to maintain and get over.
New Year New Job
I wanted to start off by saying THANK YOU to Vocal for making my "Thank you for not choosing me." a top story and a huge thank you to everyone's love and support on it! It means more than you could ever know. I woke up on Christmas Eve morning not even expecting that so it was such a wonderful early present. I am forever grateful.
Revising my Book Series... AGIAN
"Start writing, no matter what. The water doesn't start flowing until the faucet is turned on." If you've been following me on here for awhile, you might now that I started posting about a book I began writing called "Ghost of You." I started writing it in 2021, but have been feeling for well over a decade at least to write a book. At the time I began writing the story based off of two of my past love stories. I was combining them into one character, and story. I didn't really have any other direction for the story than that.
- Top Story - December 2023
Healing F**king Hurts sometimes
As this year comes to a close I am reflecting not only on my year, but also my almost 3 years on Vocal. I reached 1202 reads the other day and I just wanted to thank everyone that has supported me over these last few years. I came to Vocal to journal my life, and things I was going through at the time, and am still going through now. I wish I would have wrote more on here, not just about my life but just about anything and everything. Anyways I just wanted to take time to reflect on a few pieces I've written and make some updates on them. I hope for anyone that might be struggling with any of these topics can find some comfort in not being alone.