Jessica Rasile
Bio
Stories (28/0)
The Battle of a Day
Days are filled with bouts of anger and oceans of tears forming in my eyes. I have no control over my emotions or how they choose to seep through me. The demons inside me lash out at the ones I hold dear, and there's nothing I can do about it. Everyday I wake up in a whirlwind of feelings, sitting at my desk, I weep uncontrollably, for no apparent reason. When the tears have been shed, my hands clench hard into fists until my nails make deep indents in my palms. Again, for no reason that is clear. I'm angry and I'm sad and I'm nervous. I can't stop thinking about things I don’t want to be thinking about, things I shouldn’t be thinking about. Even if I try to focus my mind on something else, the memories still play in the background like elevator music. Still there, still wanting to be heard. I can’t take it anymore. I can feel myself getting bad again, but I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how to help myself. The bottles of empty wine are starting to build up in my cupboards. Each one pushing the angst of my soul a little further down. But after the buzz subsides, it come back up flooding my veins and entire nervous system. I know it's not healthy, but anything beats the pills.
By Jessica Rasile6 years ago in Psyche