As I stated in “Lessons from my Internet Friend,” I am the oldest of two siblings. I have one sibling, a younger brother named Phillip. I would hope that my parents would’ve loved us equally throughout our lives, but as I have experienced, I really don’t think that this is the case.
Having lived in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania since 2003, I can tell you: the keystone state is a weird place. It’s basically Philly and the Burgh on either side, and in between you can find a combination of the states of Alabama, Kentucky, and maybe Texas, where many tiny cities are found. These tiny towns are not only suburbs of our two major cities, which are some of the biggest cities in the nation, but also suburbs of some of what I like to call PA’s “minor cities.” These cities include Erie, Scranton, Altoona, and the capital city of Harrisburg, where I grew up. All of that said, please don’t root for the other sports teams, and I say this well aware that people in Harrisburg will root for the Phillies during baseball season, and then during football season, those exact same people will have Terrible Towels as flags outside their houses. Pennsylvania is also seemingly the one state in the entire country that doesn’t sell alcoholic beverages in gas stations or grocery stores, although there have been some strides made in recent years, but most of the time, you have to buy your alcohol at a state-owned Wine & Spirits stores. And don’t even get me started on the Wawa-Sheetz-GetGo war. With all of that in mind, it’s not that uncommon for people to joke about my home state, and to quote The Megas, “some sting but some can’t help but ring true,” and then there are some that are funny because they are true. I found a website with a list of Pennsylvania jokes that I would like to touch on a little bit because, like I said, they’re funny because they’re true, but many might not know how true they actually are.
(Warning: This article contains some uncomfortable language, gets pretty personal, and talks about mental health and suicide. Please read at your own risk.)
I’m 19 years old and the oldest sibling in my immediate family. I have one younger brother. He is 16 years old. Sometimes, I feel like he looks up to me for advice and also sometimes to be a role model of sorts. Sometimes I feel like something of a second mother to him. But sometimes, my brother needs to realize that even the oldest sibling needs some advice of their own. Occasionally, I might try asking my parents for advice on what to do in certain situations, but far more often than not, I simply can’t do that due to circumstances that I just don’t believe are worth talking about in a public setting. That’s where Tony comes in.
November 8, 2016 — a date that that will live in infamy, at least to me anyway. This wasn’t just a simple fall day. It was election day last year.