Wealthy Doesn't Always Mean Happy.

When I first met Aiden, it was in high school.

Aiden came from a family who were wealthy and they had a big bought home, top notch cars, high paying careers.

They had everything that someone like me who came from a working class family at the lower end of the scale would have loved to have.

My Stepfather worked as a Lorry driver for a mill, and my mum worked jobs in cleaning a school, dinner lady. She also packed tights at some point.

We had just enough income to get by with, but spending was still curbed because like wealthy people, we had to pay bills, buy food, clothes and keep a roof over our heads.

My friend had top class clothes, the latest hifi, a piano, and a very trendy room. He had high class holidays, and a life style that many kids my age in the early 90s would have died for.

Like many children who came from a low class background, I thought he was happy.

I thought he had a lot of confidence, and was very secure in himself until he hit university.

Aiden was pushed to be a high achiever, simply because his parents were. When he started doing nursing at university, it took a lot out of him.

He was expected to get all top grades, and land top roles just as his parents did.

One day, we were out in Morley where I lived at the time, doing some usual shopping. Aiden stopped to look at a pair of polished, brown shoes in a top fashion shoe shop.

Those shoes cost around £550.

He stared at his feet, and his smile dropped.

You could see he really did not want to buy them

He shrugged, took my hand, and quietly walked into the Market with me, instead. He was browsing the store, when he came across a pair of red trainers that had a black stripe on them. He eyed them up curiously, then shook his head, and went back to that other shop where he saw the expensive pair of shoes.

"Aiden, you don't have to buy them if you don't want to," I told him.

He started to cry and he told me that his Mum had told him he needed another expensive pair of shoes for uni, even though he had literally only bought a similar pair two weeks ago.

The same thing happened with clothes, and he was told that he was not allowed to destroy the family's reputation by wearing anything that was cheaper.

The point is that his parents took his individuality away by taking away his choices, and not allowing him to decide what he should wear or buy.

I once commented on his Dad's car, which was a big, black, shiny Porsche in his driveway. It was a nice car, but it cost him more money than it was worth.

Aiden said he'd had an argument with his dad the night before, because he did not want a car when he was able to drive.

He preferred to be what he called his 'normal,' using public transport and walking everywhere. However, he brought this up, and it turned out that his dad had a screaming match with him, threatening to dis-own him if he did not 'tow the family line.'

Up to this stage, I had thought that all wealthy people were happy. However, I did not think about the strain it put on their children until I met Aiden.

Aiden decided to bow out of nursing. He realized that he was only doing it to impress his Mum and Dad. He signed up for music instead. Music was Aiden's passion, but as soon as he started doing it, his Mum and Dad kicked him out, because in their own words:

"It wasn't enough to bring the money home."

Aiden is now 52 years old, and he is scared of spending money. He is afraid that he will turn into his Mum and Dad.

He also feels embarrassed to have wealthy parents, because everybody assumes he is wealthy, too.

Aiden has a job selling spiritual items, and he sings in a local band, but he prefers to keep low key, distancing himself from people, and he has a lot of dark days where he can't identify with himself, that he doesn't want others to see.

He loves his Mum and Dad, but he feels insecure because of their attitude towards wealth.

He tells me, they tend to think they are higher, above everyone else, and that they force their children to behave in the same way.

Aiden does not earn the same amount as his siblings who have followed their parents footsteps, and he does not want to, because as he said:

"If earning that much means I have to act bigger than everyone else, then I don't want it. I don't want to be Mum and Dad."

It might be just his family who are wealthy, but Aiden finds it hard to deal with. He shys away from the classy parties his family have, and he feels deeply depressed when he has to walk into high class shops, or attend high class events with them.

He tries explaining to his Dad why he does not want a high-class life, and why he does not want show-off cars or homes. His Dad then sees him as poor instead of respecting his decisions. The last time I joined one of these conversations, his Dad offered to buy him an expensive car, despite Aiden saying that he did not want one. His Mum proceeded to then tell him he was ungrateful.

This is a true experience, written with permission from Aiden who wanted me to make people, especially parents aware of the fact that pushing wealth onto a child or young person does not always bring them happiness.

Aiden chooses lower chains to buy his clothes from, because he has a personal liking of their styles, rather than how much they cost.

The problem is because his parents are pushing the 'wealthy' lifestyle at him, he is feeling anxious, depressed and nervous to be himself, because in his opinion:

'Being myself would be like having to be like my parents, because they won't like me any other way.'

Aiden has been going through this since his childhood days, and the 'wealthy mark,' of his family is pushing him to breaking point.

He feels like he only exists as a show doll for them. Someone to show off like an ornament, rather than being loved by his parents for who he is.

Aiden is still having therapy today, and he has recovered some part of his identity, though the damage is quite deep; and it will be a long time before he is able to feel 100 percent himself.

He wanted me to get a message to wealthy parents:

'Don't force wealth onto your children, and don't try to make them like you; because wealthy doesn't always mean happy.'

I have changed Aiden's name to a sudonym for this article, because while Aiden has given me permission to write it, he wishes to keep his name private. However, he does hope that his story can help other parents who come from wealthy backgrounds, understand how it can make their children feel insecure.