The Only Person Who Found The Forgotten Me

The conversation your about to read is the first time I found someone who was able to discover my lost identity. This is a real-life past conversation that happened at my new school when I moved. For a more better understanding you can read my other story "The Annoying Friend."

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"So, tell me a little bit about yourself." - The school councilor engaged herself.

"I'm Kodah, I'm new, I just transitioned and yeah!"

"Nice to meet you, Kodah! I'm Jennie! Think we all know I'm the school councilor!"

"Yeah hah, I've heard from some people in my class that you're really good!"

"Aw really? I mean I do love my job!"- She said blushing.

"But anyways! I always bring new people in here of course to get a better understanding of you and ways I can help you so you can finish school!"

"So, tell me, how are you liking it here?"- She adds on.

"Um I don't know. I hate this one person in my class. Him and I had a little argument last period."

"Yep. I am actually aware of this situation. What happened.?"

"Eh, just being annoying and rude. But it's fine, I can stand up for myself."

"Right. I have been informed about you yelling at him in class."

"Yep, I did. I got really mad and kinda took all my anger out on him but it's fine. I don't let people walk over me anymore, I'll fight back if I have to"- I say confidently.

'Fighting back isn't the right thing to do Kodah."

"No I know, I know, I just don't care anymore. About anything."- I whisper the last sentence.

"Hm? Why don't you care about anything?"

"Huh? Oh- I just don't. I kind of don't care about anything anymore."

"Why is that?"- She questioned.

~𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒔𝒚𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒏, 𝒔𝒐 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔~

"Nothing. I just don't like myself." - I shrugged

~𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅~

"I would love for you to open up about that! If you're comfortable!"

"No, it's fine. I'm useless don't worry about me, I'm a waste to talk about. I just don't like myself that's all." - I said awkwardly

~𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔, 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒉~

"You were definitely hurt in your past."- Jennie asserts.

"Okay I promise you I'm not being rude. But I feel like anyone could've said that."- I said.

"The difference with me though. I understand why you're the person you are today. Feelings paint a story. Your emotion you just gave me before means you don't like to open up about things."- Jennie continued.

~𝑰 𝒑𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒈𝒂𝒛𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒕𝒆, 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍~

"You-you, know?"

"You understand me?" I add.

"Well of course, I'm 45 years old!"- She jokingly says.

"45?! I thought you were like 25!" - I joke back.

~We have a little laugh~

"Back to our chat just then! So, why don't you like yourself?"

"Your good."- I say.

"I've always hated opening up to myself but your just, amazing."

"Why thank you!! It takes time to find the right person who understands you, there will always be someone out there who understands you."- Jennie says.

"I don't know, I just don't trust people anymore. I feel, I don't know. I don't want to think about it."- I say.

"So you just avoid things to get away from the situation?"- Jennie asks.

"Yep. Pretty much."- I reply.

"I can tell you that we are going to have to work on that. Avoiding is like walking away from something, I've avoided a lot of things in my life that I wish to go back and change."

~I shrug~

"Jennie, I like you a lot, but I just don't think I'm mentally prepared to change. I'm just worthless now."

"That's okay. There is plenty of time for that! But you will need to help take action on this journey, you have to take responsibility for your happiness too."

"There is no more hope for that."

"I feel like you've lost a sense of belongingness."

"I mean, I have trust issues?"

~Jennie nods, not contradicting me~

"I just think there is something lost in you. Someone who never used to act like this. You might've acted like that in class, but that definitely doesn't define the person you are, Kodah. I feel like the real Kodah is hiding somewhere deep down."

~I give a gentle smile~

"I want to keep working with you, I see something. I want to discover this unknown side of Kodah, who looks like they got lost on their journey. The Kodah that got so hurt she remained hurt."- Jennie passionately said.