Talking About Abuse is Uncomfortable As Hell
And I’m Going to Keep Making it Weird
It’s tough to really know who I am without knowing me through the lens of my trauma. I try not to think of this as a particularly negative thing; it’s just information. Backstory that’s important to the current plot.
After all, how could you truly understand why I cry at the smallest kindness without knowing I spent five years being brutalized, manipulated, and taught I was unworthy of tenderness?
Don’t mind me, sometimes I just can’t comprehend the breathtaking warmth of affection without a bruise attached.
Without me telling you, how could you guess that I often over-explain myself because I’m so used to my every move being tracked, interrogated, and used against me?
How would you be expected to know not to invite me to that loud, crowded bars because it overloads my every sense with triggers; vaulting me nauseatingly into distressing memories of my violent, firearms-obsessed, alcoholic ex?
The ex who refused to learn to cope with his own trauma and PTSD, so he passed it on to me.
My narcissistic abuser. My psychological torturer. My sexual assailant. My would-be murderer.
The one whose new girlfriend (now fiance) recently popped up on my “People You May Know” on Facebook.
My blood ran cold at the jarring sight of his bloated, putrid face leering at me from her profile picture, heavy arm slung around her.
She looks sweet, his current victim. I worry about her.
I hate talking about my C-PTSD, yet it’s all I can do to try to protect others from the same fate. They deserve that, especially because they may not be in a situation where they feel safe to share the trauma they’re currently facing.
Sharing our stories of domestic violence helps both victims and survivors feel like they aren’t alone. Those who are still in the throes of their abuse deserve to feel like they have someone in their corner. It can also help others recognize the potential signs of abuse and learn how to safely intervene when they see it.
Abuse is an uncomfortable topic, to be sure. But I’m going to keep oversharing in the hopes that it might one day help others get out from under the overbearing grip of their oppressors.
Here’s to keeping it uneasy.
I’m Glad You’re Here
After years spent advocating for domestic violence victims while hiding my own suffering, I refuse to let anyone feel abandoned in their abuse or its aftermath.
Trauma sucks. Recovery shouldn’t. That’s why I’m making communicating about my own experiences as normal as possible while actively calling out abuse and inequity when I see it.
My aim is to give others a safe environment in which to develop these tools so we can start making some much-needed changes together.
Please support my continued writing (and help me inch my way toward my first book) by following and engaging with me on trauma and advocacy. I’d love to hear from you!
Subscribe in one click to receive your FREE digital copy of my new guided journal, “Empower and Heal: 90 Days of Transformational Prompts for Trauma Recovery, Self-Discovery, and Growth”, delivered straight to your inbox!
Veronica Wren Trauma Recovery Book Club
This post may contain affiliate links. This just means if you click a link and decide to make a purchase, I’ll earn a few extra pennies to support my book-buying habit (and do an elaborate, celebratory dance around my apartment just for you). My promise to you is that I’ll only ever recommend resources I truly believe in and have found beneficial in my healing journey. Happy reading!
About the Creator
Veronica Wren
Trauma sucks. Recovery shouldn't. Subscribe here for your FREE exclusive guided journal
❤️🩹 bio.link/veronicawren ❤️🩹
Domestic Abuse & CPTSD Recovery Coach
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When I was first diagnosed with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), I felt confused, overwhelmed, and alone. I’d escaped my abusive relationship of five years only to learn that, in many ways, I may never be completely free.
By Veronica Wren2 months ago in Psyche
The secret journey to regaining emotional stability
Do you feel that the anxious and avoidant types both seem to be strong and independent, but in fact they are sensitive and fragile. They often fall into emotions because of small things and start to be anxious and avoidant? If anxious and avoidant types want to change these, what they actually need is to compensate for their missing parts and heal their injured parts. In this issue, we will teach the avoidant and anxious types how to cultivate themselves again, making their emotions more stable, more rational in relationships, and at the same time gaining the ability to actively output emotional value. If anxious and avoidant types want to overcome the sensitive and fragile parts of themselves and obtain stable emotions, they need not only cognitive adjustments, but also need to heal the traumatized parts of themselves and compensate for the regretful parts of themselves. For example, the regret of the avoidant type is that they have not been paid serious attention to and have never truly rebelled. Therefore, the avoidant type will not fight for their own needs in many situations, resulting in uncomfortable situations and relationships, and they are always running away and wandering. The trauma of the anxious type is that they are trapped in unstable relationships and have been hurt by the instability in intimate relationships. The slightest fluctuation will make the anxious type feel nervous and anxious. Therefore, anxious and avoidant types are inherently fragile, sensitive, and unstable. In summary, these reasons are that something is missing during the growth stage, or they have suffered some trauma, so if you want to solve these problems, this is the time. Compensate when you need to compensate, heal when you need to heal, exercise when you need to exercise, just treat yourself as a child and raise yourself again. If the avoidant and anxious types re-train themselves, what kind of growth can they gain? First of all, emotions will become more and more stable. For example, you can be aware of your emotions at the first time, avoid emotions from affecting your thoughts and judgments, and learn to regulate your emotions. Secondly, you can truly understand yourself and know your real needs and fears. In the process of re-nurturing yourself, you can clearly understand your needs and fears, that is, you can know why you are attracted to a certain person, why you behave like this, and then you can better understand what you need.
By angelababy5 days ago in Psyche
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