ptsd
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; The storm after the storm.
Please Don't Hurt Me
Please don’t hurt me. Those words repeated over and over again in my head. Please don’t. Please don’t. Please. I grew up in a home of fear. Behind every corner lurked another danger. Sometimes it was my brother. His OCD had gotten bad again and seeing his panic would snap me back to the times when I was little and I would accidentally touch something I wasn’t supposed to, and he would scream and scream and scream at me. Other times it was my dad. He’d be boiling over with the rage he kept holed up inside of him until he exploded, ready to lay on me all my faults and shortcomings. Most of the time it was my mom. Her expectations, guilt trips, and scalding tone would send me reeling back into a childlike state where all I could think were those four words.
By L. J. Knight 5 years ago in Psyche
Waiting for the Courage to Tell My Story
I have struggled with depression for as long as I remember since I was a child. I've been in and out of counseling. Seen several psychologists starting in my childhood. And I didn't truly get the help I needed until I became an adult - more recently in my late 30's. Maybe that was my fault for not being able to open up to get the help I needed or maybe I wasn't able to be understood the way I needed to be to get the diagnosis and treatment I needed when I was younger. Maybe it all rolls up to how through all those years mental health just wasn't really a thing that was identified and talked about as much as we're starting to push for it today. That part will be left unknown. And honestly, it doesn't really matter because the past is the past. What matters is that I'm here now, I survived it all and I'm in recovery. And I have a story of recovery and strength to share. And it is a story that I want to use to help others.
By Laura Tran5 years ago in Psyche
The Time I Almost Lost Myself
I had a weird dream, which came very close to a nightmare. It was I standing on the top of a spiraling staircase looking down at the many flights of steps I have to walk and not seeing the bottom floor. This dream kept coming vividly to me more often so when I’m faced with difficulties in life. As I consumed the dream of a spiraling staircase, then came a dream of me driving up a narrow high hill in which the top of the hill was so wide and steep, but had houses above it as well as surrounding it. As I was already up at that hill, I try to go back down, but my fear of heights hit me really bad that I felt in my mind that I was going to be on top of this hill for along time, until reality hit me and coached me that, You can’t stay were you at forever, You have to face your fears and come down that steep hill now,”
By Carrie Johnson5 years ago in Psyche
Victims Anonymous
I have spent my whole life trying to avoid being dubbed a victim. I avoided speaking about my issues in order to not be thought of as a dramatic crybaby. Yet I am here, crying over something a teenager said to me online regarding my recent openness.
By Guenneth Speldrong5 years ago in Psyche
Trauma and PTSD
Roughly 20% of people who have suffered through a severely traumatic experience or repeated trauma will develop PTSD. Also known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, this condition can last a short time, or in some cases, can cause symptoms and behaviors that last for years, decades, or the reminder of a person's life.
By Rebecca Brooks5 years ago in Psyche
A thankyou playlist to Christina Aguilera
This article is not an autobiography of Christina Aguilera. It is in fact a massively touching and heartfelt thankyou to one of my most admired females in the world of music of all time. This amazing singer picked me up at a time when my life shattered to pieces in ways that made me feel weak, vulnerable, pained, and more alone than I could have ever felt. During this time I was healing from a broken and traumatic past full of violence, abuse, and trauma including trauma from childhood and I had been raped, assaulted, and abused in ways that made me hate everything about myself, including my body. During this time, I lost my power, I became too weak to fight, and I blamed myself for everything I had been through, including all the violence. You'll know if you have read my previous articles, that I felt like a piece of dirt, who was only put on this earth to be a punchbag, and that I also spent so many years struggling with my sexuality, unable to come out because I was made to feel deeply ashamed of myself. You'll also know that I was left on the streets for a long time with no help, support, food, or shelter and that I was treated in brutal ways both before and after I ended up in that position. You'll also be aware that my mental health suffered severely and my own children ended up in the system, while I was ignored and got the blame for the violence by the very people who were supposed to help me, and that I went through a misdiagnosis of EUPD, a label slapped on me for many years after speaking out, then a re-diagnosis of PTSD, of which I am still recovering, and that I battled eating disorders, low self-esteem, low confidence, anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, and feelings and I had a bad love/hate relationship with my body which caused me to severely distort my opinion of myself.
By Carol Ann Townend5 years ago in Psyche
Narcissism and Abuse within BDSM Relationships; An observation.
A classic mindset I see time and again within any BDSM, or even alternative community is the mind set that a persons partner (Usually male), is gas-lighting or emotionally and psychologically attacking their partner to such a degree, where when the submissive partner say's something about it, automatically they will find a way to devalue, limit, or diminish the person in questions concerns, needs, or in some more serious cases, their safety. A classic example of this from just a domestic perspective is the age old:
By Seth Stephens5 years ago in Psyche
PTSD
Post-traumatic stress disorder. We have heard it, we have seen it on the screen. Media and television have focused around soldiers who have been through war and have seen death. However, PTSD can affect just about anyone. It has affected me and it is still there. I had no idea I had PTSD, I thought all of my past life events have been figured out. I have spoken to someone after the event had happened and I thought I was doing fine. Until...trigger. Trigger. I did not know what that word meant until it happened. I was brought back to a moment where I did not feel safe. I was brought back to the moment where I was hurt by someone I trusted. For a long time I believed it was my fault, that I deserved what I got. I did not. I did not deserve an ounce of it. The fact is I did not open up to anyone about my experience, other than the priest while in confession. He told me what I knew was right. He said to me: "What happened to you was not your fault, it was his for having these thoughts that led him to believe it was okay." I heard what I knew and it reaffirmed everything I had been taught as a child. When you say no to someone it means no. You do not have to give an explanation, you do not need a reason. No. Means. No. He did not get it. Why? because no one in his life has ever said no to him. I went on the pill shortly after for fear it would happen again. I should not have to do that, I should not be so afraid of being hurt to take medications that mess with your hormones, that make you feel emotions that you are not used to. That should not be okay.
By Adrianna M. Braun5 years ago in Psyche
