Hello there. I write things. Sometimes good things. Mostly, I write to find myself. If I can entertain you in the process, then that's just the derivative icing on the proverbial cake!
Bertha Watt could hardly believe her luck. She was currently enjoying a delicious pastry and sipping tea on the Queen of the Ocean- the aptly named Titanic! In 2nd class, none the less! She was traveling with her mother to move to the far west coast of America, where her father currently was. He, of course, had gone ahead to set up a home for his "ladies", as he called them. Father simply sung the praises of their new home, a beautiful town called Portland.
A fellow co-worker recently asked me how I could do such a good job on some days, and struggle on others. As usual, I have no idea no idea what to say. I know that, to most people, I look just like any other out of shape middle aged lady. It is hard to describe just what is going on with me in under a few minutes, much less hours! So, as usual, I make some kind of joke at my expense and move on with my day, leaving my coworker thinking I am just lazy or something like that.
The Lake Bed
She lay on the filthy bed, and tried to ignore the sensation of grimy handprints, still warm on her naked flesh. She has a break now, it seemed, from the hours of rutting she'd had to endure that day alone. They would be back soon, she knew, wanting more. Always wanting more. They took what they wanted, and left their filth and feces behind, smeared all over her skin.
Halloween Movies for Fellow Scaredy-Cats
There are so many more funny than scary movies out there: Evil Dead, Buffy, that new movie Freaky, What we do in the Shadows, One Cut of the Dead (which I am actually too afraid to watch still). These 12 movies are the ones I keep going back to, and actually quote on a regular basis. If you, too, want to laugh like an idiot after telling someone "you have some red on you", or burst out in an insane giggle fit when you see a woodchipper, then these are the movies for you! I will try not to write any spoilers, so don't worry.
The Magnificence of the Evil Duchess
I don't know how the rest of you get your pets, but they have always just sort of 'happened' for me. A cat will wander into my house and suddenly I have a cat named Koby. I see a dog hurt on the side of the road and next thing I know Indiana Jane (who turned out to be a wolf) is following me around the house. I hear a cat screaming while being thrown around by some kids and before I know it I have a screaming cat in my car. I see Guinea Pigs being abused in a classroom and I am suddenly the proud owner of Brave Sir Robin and Pfeffernusse.
A'tuin Your World
So many worlds, so little time! I thought I wouldn't be able to pick one as the best, but after a few days of reading over Piers Anthony, Mercedes Lackey, Ursula K. LeGuin, and so on I then laid my eyes on Terry Pratchett and it all clicked into place.
A Day in the Life of a Banker
I am jolted awake by the concerned voice of my husband speaking to my co-workers. It is 10 A.M., and I am an hour late for my shift at the bank! I jump out of bed and get ready in a frenzy of cloth and various scented gels while my husband shoves food in a bag for me.
Reason's Got Nothing To Do With It
You're sitting around one boring Saturday afternoon, scrolling through some sort of social media. You find a picture you think is funny/profound/interesting and you share it before continuing to scroll. The next morning you wake up to a veritable shit storm of angry comments talking about how and why you are wrong.