Signs of Trauma

Previously I talked about narcissist parents and how an individual can suffer years later. It is imperative to understand that narcissists are everywhere. They could be that friend that you thought was a complete angel, or that roommate whom you thought had such a kind heart. However while they seem perfect at first, they tend to use passive aggressive ways to hurt you. Here are some signs that you are in a narcissist relationship.

1. Your relationship is not kind, caring, or sane

While at first it may have started off wonderful. Getting compliments and praise. To outsiders they would deny anything wrong could ever take place. However, these compliments were manipulative. When you did not cater to them or did something to displease them they would turn on you. They would start to stop talking to you and bully you with silence. You tend to not want to lose them cherishing old times and try to go out of your way to please them and win them on your side again. This leads into my next point.

2. You’re dealing with immature behavior and give up pieces of yourself to comply

Narcissists often bring a third person into the mix in order to show you that they are supported and you are the one who is the problem. They start to gaslight you and state things that you never did-or things they did and blame it on you.

3. You are behaving in ways that you normally don’t

Because of the toll narcissists can have on you, you might try at all costs to avoid your feelings getting hurt. You may start to enable them. This is sometimes referred to as fawning. Catering to them in order to avoid displeasing them and manipulating you further. You may freeze or panic in situations not just with them but even when reminded of situations with them.

4. You find yourself trying to prove that you’re a good person

As people will almost definitely deny any abuse took place as the abuser seems so perfect to others, you may turn tides and start trying to win the narcissist back over. You may even feel what they said about you is true that you are a bad person and you start to overdue the atonements to prove to others but more to yourself that you are innately a good person.

5. You lie to cover the truth

Narcissists will never admit they are wrong and will almost always turn the tides on you. You start to question your sanity and turn of events. Because of this you are the one to admit mistakes and become overly apologetic. You may suffer being intimate or in relationships in future and end up trying to avoid this type of abuse at all costs even if with a genuine person.

6. Your boundaries are being disintegrated

Narcissists have almost no respect for boundaries. They are the person who never prioritizes you and may be one to knock on your door all the time. If you ever ignore them they abuse you with anger and manipulation. They may turn their friends on you and if you ever talk about them to your friends and they overhear they deny and further gaslight you.

7. You feel addicted to suffering

Often people who have suffered this abuse start to feel they deserved this abuse. You may start to feel disjointed and start dissociating. This leads to my next and final point.

8. You’re suffering from abuse symptoms

The most common abuse symptom is chasing after more abusive relationships feeling that you don’t deserve better. You may start to have changes in appetite, suffer insomnia or for some reason start lacking motivation or even stop being interested in things you normally enjoy. Emotional numbness can get to the point of anhedonia.