Signs of Neglected Emotions

Human emotion is dynamic and complex. When we are children it is not uncommon for us to avoid expressing or tuning into our whirlwind of emotions and rather distract ourselves from them. If we come from a household that does not allow one to express feelings or share emotions, often not expressing feelings and neglecting them leads on into adulthood. This will ultimately lead to toxicity in adulthood. Some signs that emotions have been neglected and need to be dealt with are as follows.

Repression:

You may be seen as a stoic person. Someone who never shows any emotion or an extremely laid back person. People like this are often so called doormats and are walked all over. They have trouble saying no and wind up more injured from not being able to share emotions than facing inner turmoil. Some people see you as the guy who laughs everything off or the social fun guy who is not bothered by anything. However this repression of emotion can lead to other troubles which leads into my next point.

Fear of Intimacy:

People who can’t deal with emotions or acknowledge them have trouble with relationships. When it comes to intimacy, it is important to prioritize emotions. In an intimate relationship one has to be vulnerable and a person who negates feelings will not be able to have this happen. People who repress emotions have an invisible wall erected and when it is time for a close encounter the wall stays up. If it is a sexual encounter than a woman may develop vaginismus and while they may desire sex, the penetration can be painful. Men will often experience trouble performing and even impotence. If this is not communicated to a therapist the individual may never have the experience of a positive sexual encounter. They may even be fearful of physical touch and try to branch away from people who try to get close to them.

High Cortisol/ High Stress:

Cortisol is the stress hormone and can have a wide variety of effects. One is it can break down muscle and contribute to body fat. Many people with high cortisol develop metabolic syndrome and become obese thus creating other health conditions. With high cortisol and elevated levels of stress the individual may have trouble staying focused and often feel always threatened. Much of the time the dealing with the stress can be so dreadful that it is never addressed. People often feel lack of validity towards their intense emotions and keep trying to mask them.

Passing the Blame:

Many people who bottle up emotions end up passing the blame onto someone else. A classic example is a person who is cheating on their spouse will blame the spouse for not being faithful. This leads to relationship conflicts and many fail to make friends because of this. This passing the blame is a case of projecting emotions on another unconsciously because of how intense the emotions seem. It is by no means a way of spiting another person yet often seems so.

Denying the Emotions:

How often is it the case that someone who is clearly not okay says that they are fine? It is a classic case of denying that one has emotions bottled up. As humans are so complex just like their emotions, denying the feelings only makes things worse. Emotions and feelings if not given the proper space and time to be dealt with will never heal. They will keep manifesting in different ways. Seeing a psychologist is critical to further anymore trauma that can be obtained by not being honest. Being a people pleaser tends to be a detrimental coping factor. Always remember your feelings are valid regardless of what others say.