Lonely Areola

I didn’t go into the studio with the idea of painting areolas that day. When it comes to painting, much of the stuff I paint is in my subconscious mind and then just comes out on the canvas. And that day, it was areolas.

Music Sets The Mood

As I was painting them, I was listening to one of the Spotify playlists I had created back when I was writing the spiritual erotica piece I wrote last year.

I learned so much from writing that fiction piece. (You can read more about that below)

https://jenniferlancaster-4006.medium.com/discovering-spiritual-erotica-a6ec643475df

It opened up a world of possibilities within my writing just as getting the areolas out onto the canvas did that day. I realized there are hundreds of stories inside of me to be told through art. Stories I never considered telling. And the cool thing about painting is I never know which one is going to come out, I just know that the canvas is going to hold space for what does. And so this particular day was areola day.

Conversations Inspire

As I painted the circles they reminded me of a conversation I had had with a guy I used to date. My mind flashed back to a scene with the guy I had dated many years ago. We were on the beach and it was one of our early dates in the relationship. We were talking about if you could be anything or do anything for work what would you want to be? He told me he wanted to be a sex therapist and help people have better sex lives, because too many people in the world weren’t having good sex.

Experiences Make Us Take Risk

This same guy taught me things about my body that I did not know. He taught me that I really liked my areolas and nipples played with very intentionally. And so I began to giggle as I found myself painting all these areolas and I was thinking about all the people in the world who had never been touched the way that they wanted to be touched and didn’t even know it. Had never had deep exploration of their areolas and so didn’t know what pleasure they were even missing. And in that moment I knew the name of the painting was going to be ‘Lonely Areola’.

Facing Shame

A voice echoed in my mind.

You can’t name this piece that?

What if your family sees? What if so and so sees?

Another voice was like so the fuck what? You’re a fucking artist. You can’t help it if that’s what was in your subconscious mind that wanted to come out. Someone out there is going to resonate with this. “Hell, someone out there is probably going to buy this and hang it up on their wall behind their bed,” my friend said when I told her.

The voice in my head went on, “You’re telling a story through art. Some people are going to go “Oh my God! She did that?” And gasp. Others are going to say, “Oh my God! She did that! Fuck yeah!” And the difference between the two reactions of the people is how comfortable they are with things that society has taught us to hold shame around.

It has nothing to do with the actual painting. Just our deep-seeded beliefs about what is appropriate to talk about versus what is not.

Letting Go Of Outside Opinions

And so I stuck with the name! Creativity can trigger shame in us, particularly around sexual expression. We feel driven by societal expectations around both sex and creativity. We don't ask for what we want in the bedroom. And we don't create what we want to, or name our pieces what we want either through shame.

But consider what could be possible if we allowed ourselves to be fully expressed in creativity.

What would be possible if we released the shame and just created what needed to come out?

What would you create if you weren't worried about societal expectations?

What would you call it?

And what would be possible for you if you were fully expressed in your creativity?

Your own version of “Areola” awaits.