Holy Head

Holy.

Holy.

The word repeated in my mind. I had never had this kind of experience before. I had never given a man head and thought that it was Holy, and yet that is how I felt here in this moment. That’s what I had always been missing, I realized. But this man was a safe harbor.

My only soul purpose in this moment was to serve this man with as much openness as I could. He was my teacher. He had taught me so much, and I was so thankful for what he had taught me from that first moment when we met just over 90 days ago. I thought about my first interaction with him when he was eating the succulent mango three months earlier.

That first time we met, he let me release shame around sexual expression. He listened to me and witnessed me and let me be vulnerable without judgement. And then gave me so much fucking pleasure and taught me so much about Soul and Sexual Expression.

Even today as I stepped off the bus and he greeted me, he was teaching me. Serving me. He was dressed like a warrior. So sexy. So gentle and strong at the same time. He had a crystal in his hands when he greeted me. A rose quartz. He said it was for me. He also crowned me with fresh flowers. We embraced long and hard and he caressed the side of my face and played with my hair and took a deep inhale of it. I felt his heart beat align with mine. It felt like an exchange of white light and also emerald green heart chakra light. I felt open. Completely.

He reminded me of Boy George with a hint of Prince and David Bowie. Not afraid to be masculine and or feminine and fully express whatever wanted to come through in the moment. He was my teacher like a wizard of sexual expression.

(About a half hour earlier)

I took a sip of water and he grabbed the glass out of my hands, setting it down and grabbing both of my hands in his. We both paused for a second and stared into each other's eyes. It was almost as if we could telepathically know what the other had thought of at the same time. That's what soul connection is. It is telepathic communication. We gazed deeply into each other's souls.

It was as if he was seeing into all of my past lifetimes and me into his. It was like we both knew this moment and our future selves were downloading insight into the crown chakra and this was actually a memory from the future that we were both having about what we had already created. Connection from a future timeline in reverse.

“I have an idea,” he said, although his eyes had been telling me a story before he even said anything. I was excited; sexually curious.

“Tell me about it,” I responded, brushing his hair out of his eye.

“What if we created a sacred sexual experience or journey? What if we explored sex through each chakra for the next 7 days? What if we expressed our sexual desires through the lens of each energy system and through exploration of what each one holds and can teach us?”

“That sounds magical,” the words flowed out of me. “That sounds beautiful. I’ve never done anything like that before; with anyone.”

“Me either,'' he said.

WOW. Just wow. I’m speechless. I need to just sit with this for a second and allow it to penetrate my imagination. I’ve never had a partner this evolved to even have this kind of idea or discussion. He amazed me. I’ve never been so turned on by a man yet felt so safe to explore expression at the same time.

We stayed in silence for several minutes and just lightly caressed each other and started kissing. The music from one of my playlists was playing softly in the background, and it was perfect for this. It's as if it had been set up for this moment. I grabbed him and stood up and held him close and started dancing very closely with him. We just swayed and allowed the music to pull us. Slow sensual dancing. He picked up my hand and kissed it. A deep embrace. Our bodies became one in this dance. He began caressing my arms and me his.

I was wearing a sundress and he lightly put his hands under my butt and caressed me ever so gently. I loved having his hands barely touching me. The music vibrated through my body. Slow, magnetizing. The tent with the candles was so gorgeous. I felt like the world had stopped and we were the only two beings alive. We stopped swaying and stood still, hugging even more tightly. I think we were already beginning our sexual journey. This felt like a crown chakra connection. The divine was guiding us.

“Love.” He whispered and his warm breath in my ear felt so inviting.

“Knowing” I replied and I lightly touched his cheek.

“Presence,'' he said, as he barely touched the side of my breast through my dress.

“Intimacy'' I replied and put my index finger on his bottom lip. We started swaying again.

“Connection,” he said as he kissed my eyelids.

“Harmony,” I replied as I squeezed his hand tightly. It was like we knew we were just supposed to say deep and meaningful words to each other in this space. Divinely inspired Words of affirmation.

“Sacredness,'' he said as he cupped my face with both of his hands .

“Trust,” I replied, as I massaged his waistline. We started kissing. I could feel his breath on my ear again and then he lightly nibbled on my neck. Deep eye contact. I put my hand on his heart. He put his hand on mine. We kept swaying.

“Alignment,'' he said. He kissed my heart.

“Honor,'' I replied, lightly touching his third eye.

“Purity,” he said. And he took my dress off .

“Divinity,'' I replied. And I took his shirt off.

“Inspiration,'' he said, kissing my shoulder.

“Receptivity,'' I replied. As I held my palms face up and he kissed them.

“Attunement,” he said and suddenly there was this intense electrifying energy between us. I grabbed his cheeks and pulled him closer and started kissing him deeply. The beat in the music picked up a bit. The track was ‘Shake it loose 'by Mo'Horizons. I felt myself get into a trance. He entered the trance with me. We started dancing rhythmically and kissing. A sexual dance. A spiritual dance. A soulful dance. It felt so good to be naked and pure next to his bare skin.

I still had my underwear on but no bra. He started kissing my chest. We kept dancing to the beat and melody of the song.

“Guidance,'' he said, as he looked up to the sky and put his hands in prayer pose.

“Flow,'' I replied. And I moved my body in a dance as a graceful wave of the ocean. Then a nice long delayed kiss. We explored each other's lips. There was no rush to get anywhere. Total exploration of each other's souls. I loved swaying and having his naked chest next to mine. I started to feel sweat between us. He started to massage the back of my neck and run his fingers up the back of my scalp.

“Integration,” he said. The electricity got more intense.

“Mysticalism.” I replied. And it felt like the vibrational frequency just amplified. He kneeled and then kissed around my navel. I ran my fingers through his hair and closed my eyes. When I reopened them. He was looking up into my eyes as I gazed down. Then he kept kissing my navel and still we kept swaying and dancing. He pulled my panties down very slowly and methodically.

I was so turned on. He kissed around my pussy ever so gently. His lips were so luscious and inviting. He looked up and said “Iris.” as he opened me up and kissed my clitoris.

I looked down at him and replied “King” and I put the crown of flowers on his head - the one he had placed on mine earlier that day.

He kept kissing me at the opening. “Goddess,'' he said under his breath. He was making my pussy do push-ups. The connection was like an out of body experience - cosmic - yet at the same time I was so fully there with him in the physical. This was transformational - as though we were going beyond the limits of our form sexually.

He came back up kissing different parts of my body the entire way. There was no rush for this. We were exploring. I unbuckled his belt and took his pants off. “Let me look at you,” he said. He stood back and I kept swaying. I was one with the music. I just kept dancing and closed my eyes. Then I would open them and hold eye contact with him.

He danced too. He was rock hard and I felt so incredibly sexy and desired. He knew how to be sensual with music and I fucking loved that. It was so hot. He was so comfortable with himself and that made me want him so badly. He came closer and we embraced dancing with the rhythm of the drums in the song.

“Enlightenment,'' he said.

“Synergism,” I replied. He touched my lips with his fingers and I opened my mouth and sucked on his finger. I began kissing him down his chest until I was kneeling. I looked up into his eyes then began licking around his cock.

I had never in my life wanted to please a man this much. Never ever. He had given me so much since I had met him and I wanted to give it all back and then some. This guy was my king. This was spiritual awakening; sacred foreplay. And I just wanted to give him so much pleasure for the mere fact of how open and evolved he was. He was a blessing to me. It was my turn to give. I felt like it was almost like I was pleasing myself by pleasing him. That's how badly I wanted to please him.

When he exhaled I breathed in. I wanted to share with him. Share in him. Breathe him in. Take him in my mouth like I was taking in his spirit. Because I was. I was fully there. I was fully present in a way I had never experienced before. I was taking in his life force. Intimately taking him in. I wanted to give to his spirit. I was devoted. I wanted to give him the gift of a great release, a deep soul revival. I felt like I was practicing the highest form of a ritual that I had ever had. I gave to him and would take in the breath of his consciousness because I knew we were breathing the same air.

I took my time and he was so aroused. I would look up and he would look down and look into my eyes. Then his eyes would roll back in pleasure. He massaged my scalp and it felt so good. I loved serving him. I wanted to give him the fucking earth, moon, and stars. Sucking on him was holy to me. I wanted to give him energetic pleasure in the highest regard. I let him go deep into my mouth and throat and found new vast space that had never been there because I wanted to make space for him. Because I was surrendering to pleasing him.

I took him in farther. He moaned. I thought about the look he gave me when he held the friendship pin I made up in front of his face on that first day. I gave him a little bit of my teeth. He moaned harder. I thought about the look he had in his eyes when he pinned the friendship pin to his crotch. I sucked harder. I thought about how he awoke the eros in me as he danced with the fire at my first burn festival.

I sucked everything I could and felt euphoric as he let out a giant moan and came right in my mouth. And I swallowed every last morsel with gratitude. All I wanted was to please this man. A man hadn’t activated that side of wanting in me ever. But he had seen me, witnessed me and treated me like the deity that I was. That’s what spiritual connection is and it had been missing from my sex life forever. This was crown chakra sex.

I didn’t need him to penetrate me tonight. I didn’t even need him to make me cum. I was beyond taken care of by him. He had given me so much already and I was so pleased. Being a safe masculine energy and allowing me to be fully in my feminine without an energetic competition was everything for me. This was my way of commencing devotion. And it was beautiful.

I loved our exchange. I stood back up and asked him to just hold me and sway with me. That's all I wanted; just to merely be in his arms. To please him and give to him for being the healthy masculine I had never known. He kissed my forehead. I chuckled.

Wasn’t this supposed to be the sacred discussion tent?