If only there were enough words in the world to convey all my thoughts.
Love isn’t something I enjoy writing about. It might not even be something you enjoy reading about. The idea of love has been around for centuries and yet, it feels like none of us truly understand the meaning of the word. We’d have to experience it to truly understand it, but even that is rare. Love is something I avoid talking about because how better are my ideas of it, from the millions who’ve spoken about it already? I’d like to say I’ve experienced it: the enthralling, intoxicating experience of falling desperately in love with somebody. But in my experience, love has always felt different with every person I meet. I’m not sure if it has to do with our divergent pasts or our unpromised futures, but every type of love I’ve experienced has only ever had one thing in common: fear.
My Mind An Artist, My body The Canvas
Growing up, I’d revel in all the mysterious ways to make myself beautiful. Straightening my hair, learning how to use eyeliner, plumping my lips, the best overnight cure for a pimple. What outfits were trendy? What made me look amazing? Anything! The world was my oyster when it came to beauty.
Holding the Door Open
When I went on my nightly, bubble-tea run, I didn’t predict how lonely it would be. The cold winds bit at me, the snow was turning into a gross slush and my mind was wandering aimlessly. I knew I was looking for more than bubble tea that night— a reason to live, maybe. But in our world today, I knew I’d only be getting the bubble tea, and I’d probably have to wait twenty, agonising minutes for it too.
Decisions, decisions, decisions
Post-Secondary, Post-Pandemic Finding your place in the world after high school is tougher than people make it out to be. Waking up at 7am to spend the next 6 hours in a classroom wasn't comforting at the time, but it gave us a structure that post-secondary institutions lack. And finding your way through this new sense of freedom is certainly no easy task.
What to Expect When You're Expecting Grief
Guess what’s coming up? Yes! It’s the inevitable day we’ve all been (not) waiting for. The anniversary of a loved one’s death. My father’s memorial day is coming up, in 19 days to be exact. I’m not counting down the days because I want to. I’m counting down the days I have left to form bonafide expectations about the day to come.
- Second Place in Hometown Heroes Challenge
A Hero Till The EndSecond Place in Hometown Heroes Challenge
To my hero, Like all good heroes, you were taken away from this world too soon. The residual effect of your charitable good deeds still linger in our hearts. For hours, people go on talking about you and your little quirks. Did you seriously prefer not to brush your teeth before your morning coffee? Firstly, gross. Secondly, as the daughter you raised to brush her teeth every morning before anything else, I realize how many things you omitted from your life to raise me correctly. You only ever shared the happy memories from your childhood. Thus, you taught me that the greatest power a parent could have is the power to create a better life for their children. Little did I know, you omitted to share over half of your life out of this desire to create something better. Those gaps of communication lost between us itch at me every day.
Prisoner of the Night
I’ve never liked being a light sleeper. A dash of sunlight peaks through my curtains at the crack of dawn. The subtle sense of warmth taunts my tired body. Humans are supposedly diurnal and operate best during the day, but I find that this isn’t always the case. How could humans resist the calm of the night? When the stars reflect the beauty of our universe, how can you withdraw from the world and not bask in the peace that accompanies darkness? It made me envious of barn owls, who strictly resided in the dark atmosphere of night. I find the contents of my mind bouncing from one end to another, refusing to find solitude in the sunlight. But alas, this is how the world chooses to operate. To live in it is to escape your mind and find a community. Part of me enjoys my position on the outside, looking in on all the people who’ve discovered the meaning of normal.
The weather was the only thing that made me cry today. This isn’t what I should be crying about, but it was the middle of February and warm days like these didn’t come around too often in Canada. Something about the breeze brought me back to a Sunday morning with my Dad.
Put Your Mind at Ease
Along with the new year comes a new set of challenges. These challenges soak up our free time like a sponge, and wipe away any possibility of true rest. It’s easy to get swept up in the routines of every-day living and forget what matters most. If you’re anything like me, the busier things get, the harder it is to feel rested at any point during the day. I find that feeling rested and being rested are two completely different things: one is dependent on your affective well-being (how you feel from moment-to-moment), and the other is entirely biological. Either way, our well-being is dependent on good rest, and the progression of our lives depend on our well-being.