Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
Four
THE INDIVIDUALIST: Sensitive and withdrawn. Expressive, dramatic - self-absorbed and temperamental I desperately wanted to paint my individuality into one giant blank canvas. I would add deep splashes of indigo, vibrant hues of crimson, streaks of emerald, washes of yellow, smears of faded white, and intricate swirls of violet. I wanted to etch my elysian soul into every stroke of the brush and give physical form to my idiosyncratic worth. I even wanted to capture every smudged blemish, as if imperfection could give way to surreal divinity. Only I would be qualified to capture and unravel it all. If I were to be called an artist, then surely my very soul would be my greatest masterpiece. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I believed that I was worth a thousand more. I chose to believe that. So, I raised my paint splattered hand to the easel with sanguine determination, but inevitably felt paralyzed as I didn’t even know how to begin. It was almost poetically tragic how still my hand became.
Kaitlin ChristensenPublished 3 years ago in PsycheFive
THE INVESTIGATOR: Intense and Cerebral. Perceptive, innovative - secretive and isolated Just give me a moment. I’ll understand within time. I’ll add each new token I discover from my quandary into carefully labeled collections that are organized safely in my mind. I’ll admit, this conundrum you’ve placed before me is quite the challenge, but everything in this world and beyond is meant to be understood at some point or another. Even me. One day, I’ll be able to identify every individual particle that defines my existence well enough to explain it to you in detail. I know it’s just a matter of time. So, I’ll take my time. I’ll listen to the sound of the wind along with my heartbeat as carefully as an intricate rhapsody, and I’ll learn how to create a melody of my own. If I can learn how this great environmental conglomerate functions together, then certainly I’ll be able to figure out my perfect place within it.
Kaitlin ChristensenPublished 3 years ago in PsycheOne
THE REFORMER: Rational and Idealistic. Principled, purposeful - self-controlled and perfectionist. I wanted to change the world. Change? Perhaps reform is the better word. This precious earth that we all inhabit, learn, and grow in; I wanted to somehow reform it completely into an immaculate Eden. A treasured elysian. It wouldn’t be easy. No, never easy. But still, I believed. I would bring together the greatest minds, the greatest leaders, the greatest contributors; and create a world from the purest of ideals. I wanted to breathe life into the philosophies from the great sages of old. Socrates, Confucius, Einstein, Galileo, De Vinci, all of them. Surely, at least one of them must have seen the world in the way I did. They must have seen all the things we could accomplish together. No, I am not necessarily saying that I am seeking for recognition or God’s favor. Well, perhaps I am. Perhaps I believe that you and me together could bring to pass the greatest theophany there is. Either way, I just want to prove that every imperfection could be a lie.
Kaitlin ChristensenPublished 3 years ago in PsycheThree
THE ACHIEVER: Success-oriented and pragmatic. Adaptive, excelling - driving and image-conscious I believed that it was my purpose to evolve. I would fit your expectations. I would prove to the world that the best of the best was attainable. At least, it was for me. So honestly, I felt perfectly comfortable under your conditional spotlight as if it was the only place I was truly designed to be. Your admiration was everything to me in that moment. Everything. I trusted that this stage was designed for me and my shoes were rooted confidently on the wooden platform. I was confident, if not anxious and worn thin. The only unfortunate thing was that I forgot the title of the play I was performing somewhere in between the endless cues and curtain calls. My lines were near perfect, but my sense of familiarity was somehow missing. What was my role again? What was it that I wanted to say? The thought was somehow uncomfortable. In reality, I had abandoned my wavering heart somewhere behind a parade mask of selected highlights before I even had the time to consider why.
Kaitlin ChristensenPublished 3 years ago in PsycheTwo
THE HELPER: Caring and Interpersonal. Demonstrative, generous - people-pleasing and possessive You need me, right? Surely that wasn’t a lie I conjured from my own imagination. I can see it in your eyes. You need help just as much as everyone else in this world. So please, rely on me. It’s okay. I’m here for you and always will be. Please, understand that there is no reason to shy away like that. You’re beautiful. You’re incredible. You’re valued. You’re everything. I’ll love every piece of you. Every single crevice. I promise. It won’t be hard. You’re everything to me. Once you believe that I mean those words sincerely, there won’t be anything left to fear.
Kaitlin ChristensenPublished 3 years ago in Psyche10 Books to Read That will Make you Sound Smart
Ten little books to make you smart! Books to read to become smarter, Reading can make people smart, reading can broaden one's horizons, reading can cultivate sentiment, and reading can change destiny. So we still have to read more and read well.
Muhiuddin AlamPublished 3 years ago in PsycheOn Fear and Suffering
Author's preface: Special thanks to writing colleague Samantha Drobac for inspiring this post with some questions she posed in response to two recent articles addressing the twin topics of fear and suffering. You can find more of her writings at my former home on Medium.com here. Also check out her fantastic publication on Medium No Echo which can be found here. She is credited with the "Q's" and "A-SD's" in the below. Sam's full piece where these questions and her answers first appeared can be found here.
Everyday JunglistPublished 3 years ago in Psyche'back to the future' letter #notetoselfafterlockdown
Backstory... Below is an entry I wrote as a mini time capsule diary a few weeks after the news of the pandemic in 2020. One year and a bit later, I am cleaning up my Google Drive and opened this document.
🇻🇳 Journey with Juju 🇦🇺Published 3 years ago in PsycheAnxiety
Hi, I'm someone that has dealt with a generalized anxiety disorder for over six years and counting. Above is a picture of the cats I had in the past that used to help me with my anxiety. The chubby grey cat was a female called Scooters and she loved to cuddle. The gorgeous orange and white cat is a male that I named Pumpkin. He was the sweetest and was always grounding with his calm and loving nature. My purpose of giving context to the picture is to give a bit more information of how they helped with my anxiety.
The Dead Don't Tell
“The Dead Don’t tell” The watery solution was very warm and thicker than she thought it would be. Naci could feel it painfully entering her lungs and filling them up like a human water balloon. “So, this is what it feels like to be reborn. Painful! Damn, it hurts! No wonder babies are born crying.” She thought to herself.
Shannon BushPublished 3 years ago in PsycheThe Me You See Vs. The Me I See
You see me as a girl who is shy... quiet... reserved... I see me as a girl who is riddled with trauma and anxiety; scared that if she says something wrong, then she'll be punished or disliked.
Emily MainorPublished 3 years ago in PsycheI Would Never
Have you ever done something out of character? Something you never thought you would do? I don’t mean rock climbing or taking a cooking class. I mean done something so heinous you no longer recognize yourself. The devil staring back when you look in the mirror.
Patrick FinneyPublished 3 years ago in Psyche