Kaitlin Christensen
Stories (10/0)
Six
THE LOYALIST: Committed and Security-Oriented. Engaging, responsible - anxious and suspicious I looked up at the world ahead of me and only saw limitations. It was full of twisted knives, deep drop offs, terrible hazards, and tumultuous winds that blew against me in every which way. I clenched my hands in ill anticipation as I witnessed the chaos unfolding before my eyes. In realistic acknowledgment, I knew I could never defeat this on my own. So, with a shaking heart, I frantically built my extravagant forts in a desperate hope that locking myself tightly inside them would somehow ease the insecurity swirling within me. Yet, my mind still felt enslaved to running endless worst-case scenarios that left my sense of wellbeing frazzled and weary. In hopes of finding a well-deserved solution, I kept my nose tightly pressed in the pages of my own history book and blocked out the world. Fear won’t go away, but somehow, I’ll scrounge together a way to keep it at bay.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Eight
THE CHAALLENGER: Powerful and Dominating. Self-confident, decisive - willful and confrontational I’ve got this. I promised I would long ago. In this world, what I’ve learned to trust the most is my own two feet. I’m not afraid to admit where I stand. I’m not afraid to walk or even charge forward and the footprints I leave behind will be a testament to my determination. They will construct the path that others will walk. Watch. I will cross this bridge and conquer every mountain that stands in front of me and you. I can even take you with me. With me as your guide we will ascend this hill together. Follow me, follow my two feet, and I’ll prove that you can rely on me too. If you struggle or feel faint along the way, do not worry. I will carry you the rest of the way. I’m strong enough. The childhood dreams I’ve forcefully given form to will protect us both. They have to.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Nine
THE PEACEMAKER: Easygoing and Self-Effacing. Receptive, reassuring - agreeable and complacent I just want to be you, but I have to be me. There are so many things, piling things, that I am unwilling to admit. Not to you, not even to myself at times. I’m scared of what you don’t want to hear, but sometimes I feel like it needs to be said. There are so many things, accumulating things, that I desperately want to admit. I want to yell. I’m boiling with rage just under the surface and I’m simply waiting for it to ignite. But I don’t know how to form the first thought. My words won’t come out right. It’s so much easier to just close my eyes. It’s so much easier to just tuck my head under the covers and let the bitter conflict melt away in the shadows of late nights. It’s harmless that way.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Seven
THE ENTHUSIAST: Busy and Fun-Loving. Spontaneous, versatile - distractible and scattered Please, let me go. I’ve been dying to leave for a while now. The world beyond my sight is so vast that you can’t tell me it’s not begging to be explored. I’ve already made a list of all I want to do, so let’s begin already. We can start small if you want. We will search the sand to capture the smallest crabs before flying over continents to capture entire mountain ranges. We will experience it all. I’ll take all the good and even some of the bad. Someday we will look back and laugh it all away. You can call me brash, overly sanguine, or naïve, but that would just be a mark of your singlemindedness.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Four
THE INDIVIDUALIST: Sensitive and withdrawn. Expressive, dramatic - self-absorbed and temperamental I desperately wanted to paint my individuality into one giant blank canvas. I would add deep splashes of indigo, vibrant hues of crimson, streaks of emerald, washes of yellow, smears of faded white, and intricate swirls of violet. I wanted to etch my elysian soul into every stroke of the brush and give physical form to my idiosyncratic worth. I even wanted to capture every smudged blemish, as if imperfection could give way to surreal divinity. Only I would be qualified to capture and unravel it all. If I were to be called an artist, then surely my very soul would be my greatest masterpiece. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I believed that I was worth a thousand more. I chose to believe that. So, I raised my paint splattered hand to the easel with sanguine determination, but inevitably felt paralyzed as I didn’t even know how to begin. It was almost poetically tragic how still my hand became.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Five
THE INVESTIGATOR: Intense and Cerebral. Perceptive, innovative - secretive and isolated Just give me a moment. I’ll understand within time. I’ll add each new token I discover from my quandary into carefully labeled collections that are organized safely in my mind. I’ll admit, this conundrum you’ve placed before me is quite the challenge, but everything in this world and beyond is meant to be understood at some point or another. Even me. One day, I’ll be able to identify every individual particle that defines my existence well enough to explain it to you in detail. I know it’s just a matter of time. So, I’ll take my time. I’ll listen to the sound of the wind along with my heartbeat as carefully as an intricate rhapsody, and I’ll learn how to create a melody of my own. If I can learn how this great environmental conglomerate functions together, then certainly I’ll be able to figure out my perfect place within it.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
One
THE REFORMER: Rational and Idealistic. Principled, purposeful - self-controlled and perfectionist. I wanted to change the world. Change? Perhaps reform is the better word. This precious earth that we all inhabit, learn, and grow in; I wanted to somehow reform it completely into an immaculate Eden. A treasured elysian. It wouldn’t be easy. No, never easy. But still, I believed. I would bring together the greatest minds, the greatest leaders, the greatest contributors; and create a world from the purest of ideals. I wanted to breathe life into the philosophies from the great sages of old. Socrates, Confucius, Einstein, Galileo, De Vinci, all of them. Surely, at least one of them must have seen the world in the way I did. They must have seen all the things we could accomplish together. No, I am not necessarily saying that I am seeking for recognition or God’s favor. Well, perhaps I am. Perhaps I believe that you and me together could bring to pass the greatest theophany there is. Either way, I just want to prove that every imperfection could be a lie.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Three
THE ACHIEVER: Success-oriented and pragmatic. Adaptive, excelling - driving and image-conscious I believed that it was my purpose to evolve. I would fit your expectations. I would prove to the world that the best of the best was attainable. At least, it was for me. So honestly, I felt perfectly comfortable under your conditional spotlight as if it was the only place I was truly designed to be. Your admiration was everything to me in that moment. Everything. I trusted that this stage was designed for me and my shoes were rooted confidently on the wooden platform. I was confident, if not anxious and worn thin. The only unfortunate thing was that I forgot the title of the play I was performing somewhere in between the endless cues and curtain calls. My lines were near perfect, but my sense of familiarity was somehow missing. What was my role again? What was it that I wanted to say? The thought was somehow uncomfortable. In reality, I had abandoned my wavering heart somewhere behind a parade mask of selected highlights before I even had the time to consider why.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Two
THE HELPER: Caring and Interpersonal. Demonstrative, generous - people-pleasing and possessive You need me, right? Surely that wasn’t a lie I conjured from my own imagination. I can see it in your eyes. You need help just as much as everyone else in this world. So please, rely on me. It’s okay. I’m here for you and always will be. Please, understand that there is no reason to shy away like that. You’re beautiful. You’re incredible. You’re valued. You’re everything. I’ll love every piece of you. Every single crevice. I promise. It won’t be hard. You’re everything to me. Once you believe that I mean those words sincerely, there won’t be anything left to fear.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Psyche
Gingerbread
The sky was the same dismal grey as it always had been. The thick swirling mist high over the rundown village easily watered out the supposed sunlight into a pale and dreary glow despite it being closer to noon. It made the world appear as though it was forever trapped in some sort of dismal, monogram filter. However, this was common. Standard actually. Every day was the same: monotonous and dim. But everyone had long since gotten used to it. They would hardly even cast a weary eye upwards to the heavens anymore, even by chance. They preferred to keep their eyes trained to the ground crunching beneath their old shoes, or more usually glancing this way and that to keep their eye safely trained on things… on everyone else. It was a habit long since established by years of practice. People needed to be watched. It was a highly well-known yet unspoken rule in the village. You must keep an eye on everyone. Never let them out of your sight. Never lose track of them. And never, ever go into the woods. Especially alone. Especially at night. It was harder to keep watch under those circumstances.
By Kaitlin Christensen3 years ago in Fiction