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In The End

Reflections on Spirituality

By Natasja RosePublished about a month ago 3 min read
Top Story - October 2023
In The End
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

At the End, I will be alone.

I don't know if I believe in an afterlife, or whatever God or Gods or Higher Power holds judgement over who goes where. If they do exist, I will face them alone. I will be beautiful in my scars, shielded and weighed by my actions and inactions, but I will be alone.

The people I hung out with and the political parties I supported will not be there to defend me. I will not have the excuse of "but I was told to do this!" My actions are my own, and while genuine ignorance may sometimes be an excuse, it is not something to take pride in.

My scars and imperfections will bear witness to my experiences. The times when, like Icarus, I flew too high, dared too much, and paid the price. The marks of growth, and scars I earned in pursuit of a goal. We are none of us perfect, and we don't need to be.

I am weighed down, even now, from the times I looked away from injustice and cruelty, and at the end of all things, I will not be allowed to look away or close my eyes to what I find unpleasant. It does not cease to exist simply because I do not wish to see it, and the choice to turn away instead of reaching out my hand has consequences.

Being only human, perhaps my hypothetical judge will be lenient, and show sympathy. Humans are finite, and can only hold so much at once, and sometimes we must pick and choose what to care about at any given time. We must balance the burdens we choose to carry, and sometimes that means putting some down to retrieve later, when we are rested. I can only hope that if I am judged, they will view me with indulgance.

I am shielded and made glorious by my kindnesses; by my mercies, large and small. By the actions I took, not for recognition or reward, but because they were right. When I spared a moment to help a friend, or stopped to assist a stranger, or to ask if someone needed aid, and to render it if they answered yes.

In all the times I chose to be an example, whether or not anyone followed it, lies my grace. Moments when I did or chose the right thing, even if no-one saw it, is my redemption. People who remember me, and the things I did, are my legacy.

Who we are lies not in the grand gestures when the world was watching, but in the little things that go un-heralded.

When I am gone, the impact of my actions will remain.

When I stand alone, whether my heart is weighed, or I stand before an entity to pass judgement, I will do so secure in the knowledge that I tried my best. If Pre-Destination is actually a thing and nothing I do has any effect on my afterlife, it will still matter to me that I tried my best.

That's all that any of us can do.

By Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Writer's note: I'm ok, I don't need a wellness check or anything. It's just two days before Halloween, and with everything going on in the world I'm feeling my mortality a bit.

Right now, I'm choosing to be kind however I can be. Whether or not it makes a difference after I die, kindness in the moment has a tangible effect now.

Check in on your friends, and acquaintances. Try to notice when someone is struggling, and offer to help how you can. Be kind to yourself, and forgive yourself for not being able to do everything all at once.


About the Creator

Natasja Rose

I've been writing since I learned how, but those have been lost and will never see daylight (I hope).

I'm an Indie Author, with 30+ books published.

I live in Sydney, Australia

Follow me on Facebook or Medium if you like my work!

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Comments (24)

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  • Eiman Asif25 days ago

    loved and understood deeply what you wrote.... its really amazing... but don't worry, in life even after doing all good and right we do face hate and negative responses but don't worry just have strong trust in your God because whatever happens when you trust Allah Almighty strongly then you would find the real pleasure, glee and peace...

  • What beautiful words. I used to live my life as if I had plenty of time, but now I truily cherish anything I can call happy and especially love. Life is such a gift that I have taken for granted.

  • Love & grace. All that is offered. All that is asked.

  • Felt this so much! It's impossible to always fight for what is right -There are just so many overwhelming injustices but it is possilbe to do the best as you can as right as you can x Congratulations on such a heart felt Top Story! 🤍

  • Colt Hendersonabout a month ago

    This was sweet. Facing your own mortality can be frightening.

  • Gerald Holmesabout a month ago

    "By the actions I took, not for recognition or reward, but because they were right." Truer words have never been spoken. This is the way to a life well lived. I loved this. Congrats on a great Top Story.

  • The Dani Writerabout a month ago

    This may well be one the most memorable writings I will keep of you Natasja Rose! It is a timely reflection where humanity needs it the most. The core beliefs in contrast with reality consciousness. What have we done in the whisper-breath of time we have in this existence? What will truly matter? Thank you for both 'compass' and 'barometer-writing,' reminding our internal selves of the right travel direction, and how we are doing in our beingness along this journey. A profound top story!

  • Naveedabout a month ago

    Congratulations on achieving top story status!

  • Ahmad yarabout a month ago

    Wonderful thoughts.

  • Kenny Pennabout a month ago

    This was excellent. I really loved that last paragraph, it speaks volumes of who you are as a person. I often think if the only reason we are kind is because we are worried about judgement, then we aren’t really moral are we? Great article and congrats on top story

  • Phil Flanneryabout a month ago

    Wonderful thoughts. Congratulations on top story

  • Lana V Lynxabout a month ago

    I still believe that souls who left before us will be our “character witnesses” in the afterlife.

  • Caroline Cravenabout a month ago

    Great writing. I think this is so appropriate right now. It feels like the world is on fire.

  • Andrea Corwin about a month ago

    This is a very nice piece. You stated many things that I, too, feel. #bekind. Do your best - and this is that.

  • Tressa Roseabout a month ago

    This was felt deep in my heart, great job, much deserved!

  • JBazabout a month ago

    Glad you added the authors note. Or else you would have been bombarded with comments Very well done Congratulations

  • Amosabout a month ago

    So good and beautiful

  • Real Poeticabout a month ago

    A beautiful way to share such a brutal truth.

  • Zara Blumeabout a month ago

    This is so well said. A timeless message also arriving in divine timing.

  • Naveedabout a month ago

    Congratulations on achieving top story status!🥰💓😘👌👍

  • Moe Radosevichabout a month ago

    Nice take on being yourself, I once wrote, judge me for what I am, not for what I failed to be, and find virtue in both, you present nice words to share 😊

  • Dana Crandellabout a month ago

    A great reminder!

  • Nice, I Like This♥️💯✌️📝

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