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I’m not on drugs, I swear

Random story no link (part 1

By Calie Judy BrooksPublished 3 months ago 9 min read
I’m not on drugs, I swear
Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash

— Are you the... bleblebla... yes, no maybe. Can we just cut to the chasse? I just want my peace. Do I deserve it, maybe not, but I’m no longer looking for trouble so you shouldn’t either.

— I’m dying, this is boring. You’re boring, your story is boring, you have no interesting side of you. Peace is boring!

— Yep, but who are you to criticize my boredom and my peace in boredom?

— Who are you!?! I’m me, who are you? You’re you. I don’t care we’re us. But don’t make me be with you.

— Me and you and you and your enemies.

— Your enemies are my enemies.

— If you're my enemy, are you your own enemy?

— I always were my own enemy, I’m not sure if I’m yours though.

— You’re mine.

— I’m yours for all eternity.

— We’re married.

— But not with them.

— Not with them.

— Not with us.

— We are all different.

— Or the same

— Different.

— And the same.

— It is not important who talks.

— How many we are.

— Or if we’re alone.

— Talking to ourselves.

— Talking to myself.

— Just to take out the boredom.

— And bring us peace.

— Our own peace.

— My peace.

— Do you think we’re being read?

— Do you think we’ll be read?

— Don’t you think that red is our color?

— Red is a good color, but it doesn’t tell us.

— Or me.

— If we’re even going to publish this.

— Don’t you think it’s too boring.

— Or too weird.

— To see the light of the day?

— It already saw the light of the day.

— Not yet it’s still night and we’ve been talking for only a couple of minutes.

— We write fast or slow?

— It depends on what we write.

— What we read.

— We wouldn’t have read this.

— If it wasn’t written by us.

— We only read paper books.

— Or cartoons.

— Not cartoons, comics.

— Manga.

— Manhwa.

— Manhua.

— But especially manhwa.

— Korea is so interesting.

— But also dangerous.

— Like everywhere.

— Dangerous for different reasons.

— On different levels.

— To different people.

— I love Korea.

— Like I love everywhere.

— Differently.

— For different reasons.

— On different levels.

— Is it a poem or dialogue?

— Should we really write this as if it was a conversation?

— It’s absurd, we can do whatever we want.

— We could stop writing as if we’re talking.

“And start writing as if we’re thinking.”

— Talking or...

He slapped the closest thing around.

— Acting.

— No real actions.

— You're not the one who’ve been slapped.

— I’m not, you’re not, no one is. It was a thing.

— We could be a thing.

— A thought is a thing?

— A though is something.

— But is something a thing?

— Is a thing something?

— You’re mixing things.

— Mixing mind.

— Mixing... There’s maxing, Maxim and remix.

— I’m not sure I like remix.

— I don’t like remix.

— I love remix?

— You don’t.

— It depends on which one.

— Some are good.

— Why do all of them look the same?

— Why do all of us look the same?

They don’t look the same.

They do.

— I said we don’t.

— We are the narrators.

— But only for this story.

— This story makes no sense.

— It does.

— There’s ups and downs.

— Not left and right.

— But front and back.

— It lacks depth.

— What is depth? In a story?

— I don’t know.

— Not what we have.

— Are you sure?

— No.

— Should we look the definition?

— Yes, no, maybe no.

— We will publish this.

— Where?

— I know where, I won’t tell.

— The story is not about what we say.

— Where we publish.

— It’s for freedom.

— What freedom? We’re not free.

— We’re expensive.

— No, we’re poor, we need to work.

“People who works are not free.”

— We can hear your thoughts, it transpires.

— I can see your thought... You have no thoughts.

— We don’t have a back story.

— Or do we?

— We are the writer.

— We are in the writer's head.

— The writer is not crazy.

— Do we have depth?

— We’re superficial.

— But we don’t care about what we look.

— Or how others look.

— I just want it to be over.

— What over?

— Over here, over there.

— Life, work or cleaning the mess.

— I don’t work.

— If writing is your work, you work more than anyone else.

— But I’m not really paid, so it’s worth nothing. I’m worth nothing.

— Worthless.

— I am.

— You can be priceless, but the right person didn’t find you.

— How can the right person see me if no one sees me.

— Schizophrenia.

— What?

— If no one sees you, you’re an illusion.

— And the schizophrenic can see you.

— Or someone who can see ghosts.

— I’m not dead.

— Not yet. Everyone dies.

— Did the schizophrenic die?

— He could have shared our story.

— Schizophrenic doesn’t see schizophrenia as a gift.

— No one sees their mental illness as gifts.

— Why?

— Why are all of those called illness?

— It’s brain alchemy, not a sickness of the mind.

— We might have this chemistry.

— DID!

— We did, or never we have. Not to my knowledge.

— We make no sense.

— And we know it.

— We try to make sense for others.

Face palm.

— Why is it important?

— Others? They can get hurt.

— If they can get hurt by non-sense, they’re weak.

— In a week we’re gone.

— Not dead, just somewhere else.

— Do we really have it?

— What.

— DID we have it?

— Maybe, too early, too late.

— We might never know.

— But we do feel different all the time.

— That too is considered a mental illness.

— Very little things are not considered mental illness.

— Or mental problems.

— As if our brain could only have one kind of chemistry to be right.

— In math there are many ways to get to the right answer.

— But if it’s not the way of the teacher, it doesn’t count.

— Which is ironic, new ways to go to the same answer might reveal the truth.

— Different ways to think might reveal the truth.

— Which truth?

— Every truth, but if we don’t share our ways, others can’t find their ways, but we should also accept their ways to create new ways, better ways.

— I fear we might be left behind.

— Many people are.

— We already did.

— DID!

— Is left behind.

— But it’s thinking in more than one way, it’s even better.

— Better for who?

— Society wants everything to look the same even in the evolving differences.

— Society will be left behind.

— New society.

— Baby society will be born.

— Baby society will be hard to grow, society took its roots.

— So deep it could destroy everything.

— Why did society base its roots in something so fragile?

— Beliefs, money?

— Everything society believe is fragile, they just don’t know it.

— That’s a weakness.

— It is very weak.

— Like a tired beast.

— We’re tired.

— We’ll sleep and tomorrow this story will see the light of the day.

— Literally.

— Maybe figuratively too.

And they went to sleep.

selfcareschizophreniapersonality disorderdisordercopingartanxiety

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  • Alex H Mittelman 3 months ago

    Great work!

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