The rate of suicide among those aged 10 to 24 increased nearly 60% between 2007 and 2018, according to a recent report released this September 2020 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Alarming. Frightening. Sad. Deliberate.
I have always struggled with mental health issues, especially with depression and anxiety. Most of the time I’m an extremely bubbly and positive person. I thrive on positive energy, I’m full of ambition and motivation and love to uplift people. However from time to time, depression creeps up on me and I fall into a vicious cycle of negative thought, mixed with anxiety and hopelessness. I’ve always imagined depression to be this dark demon that embodies you, crawls deep inside of you, lays his nest in the core of your chest and refuses to leave once he feels your warmth.
Depression, Listen up! I have something to say, YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!!! I'm sure you've heard this before from millions of people but now you are going to hear it from me!. You have been messing up my life since I was 8 years old and I hate you for that. I hate you for all the times you left me crying on the floor wishing I were dead. That happened a lot over the years. I'm curious. Does that make you proud? I let you control me year after year. I didn't go out a lot because you prefer I stay home, alone, crying in my closet over what a pathetic creature I was. I even helped you sometimes by making lists about all the ways I was worthless. I believed you when you said, " No one would care if you didn't show up." Depression you were wrong, but I'm sure you knew that and you were laughing at me for believing you. I hurt my family by not showing up to parties that were important to them. I hurt my friends by canceling our plans at the last minute because I ruined their evenings. No, you preferred to have me stay in and self-medicate. I used over the counter sleep medication, pills that were prescribed for migraines, and sometimes I would get my Mom to give me Valium. I just wanted to sleep to get away from you. There is no depression in sleep. Sleep was my best friend. It was my only way to really cope with the sadness and pain. I started drinking Nyquil like it was soda just to be able to sleep continuously. I started that at age 12. My Mother also suffered from depression and she took medication as well. The meds she took caused drowsiness. She also escaped in sleep. When I was 15 I started stealing her medication in order to get back to my friend sleep.
Humorous depression memes are some of the best sources of humor for those who suffer from this disorder. Some of these are extremely funny depression memes, especially in that they lighten up a serious psychological problem. The truth is that any time in a person's life, even in the early stages of life, a person might feel hopeless. This lack of hope is what makes depression so difficult to handle.
Growing up I always felt out of place, like I didn't belong, kind of like I was just in the way. My childhood wasn't ideal, it could have been worse, but it was definitely different from all of my friends.
I lay awake, gripping my blanket tight around my shoulders with one hand and holding my pillow close with the other. My eyes are closed, but I can't sleep. I've been like this for hours, shifting restlessly, longing for the sweet release of sleep. But it just won't come. I am fully aware that each restless toss and turn drives me further from my goal, but the movements come unbidden.