Being high functioning while suffering with any form of mental illness still has its struggles and sometimes I must admit that it does get to me. There are days where it is a struggle to get out of bed and do anything. When I go to work and have a breakdown in the staff room before my shift starts but minutes later I will wipe my face dry and clock in for my shift.
It’s on the days where I can’t get out of bed that I really need something to give me that small push to get my day started.
Even if my day starts at 5pm my pet rabbits need to be fed in the morning. I am the only one they have to feed and look after them so I need to get up EVERY single morning to feed them.
Sometimes this is enough to get my day started a little bit earlier but other days I will just crawl back into bed for another few hours until my stomach is rumbling so hard that I need to get food for myself.
My rabbits, who I call my daughters, are a big first step for me getting into a better state of mind on a day where I’m down in the dumps.
Food! Now I absolutely love cooking, especially for other people. I will literally go out of my way to cook for someone I love. So on a day that I am struggling to get out of bed I will be lying there, blankets up to my chin with my phone inches from my face, texting everyone I know asking them if they want me to cook for them.
Usually they all say they are busy or working, which sucks but sometimes I get lucky and I get someone who is willinging to come over and be wined and dined by me. So I get up out of bed that very second and get myself presentable to be the cute little dinner guest I always wanted to be.
Catch me in the kitchen making a homemade bread for three and a half hours just so I can pair it with a chicken and vegetable soup. That brings back bad memories of when I spent all that time cooking for my mum and brother after a 10 hour start for them to say “I’m not hungry”. Ugh anyway…
Making money is also a huge motivator for me to get up and start doing stuff. This is a rare moment when I will say yes to this but I’m mentioning it because it can help. Sometimes I will get a phone call or a text from the manager on shift at my work asking me if I can come into work that day, or even just come in earlier than I was expected to show up. If all I’m going to do all day is sit in bed and wallow in my emotions all day then I might as well go and make money.
It’s as good a reason as any.
Getting stuck into my writing is another great way to distract myself. I consider this like my second job that doesn’t pay me well enough.However if I work on it hard and long enough then maybe one day I can accomplish my dream and make writing a career for myself.
Typically I’ll be sitting in my day job and dreaming up little scenarios in my head about the future when I don’t need to wake up and go to work ever again. All I will need to do is stumble my way across the room to sit at my desk, or on the couch in front of the TV if I want, and write. I can choose my own shifts and I can take a day off whenever I want.
Be your own boss. Doesn’t that sound fantastic? That’s my end goal because I know for a fact I would be the most laid back boss on planet Earth.
Distractions are good for everyone. They can be in many different forms, my particular favourite right now is a little TV show you might know called The Vampire Diaries. I’ve seen bits and pieces of it over the years but my mother has a nasty habit of watching ahead and not letting me catch up before she watches more. So my knowledge before this month was patchy.
However I seem to have found the time in my own flat, in between my busy working weeks, to watch the entire eight seasons in a month. My reason for getting out of bed on my days off consisted of cleaning my house and watching The Vampire Diaries.
Distractions come in many different ways, I just found myself some nice ones. Reading, writing, cooking and cleaning.
I am always looking for new ways to cope with my down periods and I implore you to continue finding your way to cope with the bad things that are in this world.
Don’t give up on yourself!