Wasted Love

‘Wasted Love' is a collection of poetry and prose about the different types of romantic love and heartbreak. It encompasses an array of feelings and thoughts in a relatable yet awe-filled way.

Available to buy in paperback and ebook formats here.

Part One - Pretty Poison

1. Cracked Ribs

I love him

Are three words

I’ve always said truthfully

But always in pain

I’ve always felt the ache

Of my cracked ribs as

I breathed the words

And always tasted

The blood in my mouth

From my broken heart

2. Haunting

His ghost doesn’t just haunt me

It keeps me company

3. Consuming

I still remember how I loved you

I loved you so intensely it consumed me

The sun and the moon, sunrises and sunsets

Smiles and rivers, wilting flowers and sleepless nights

Everything I ever saw was just poems trying to

Find a way to describe what you meant to me

(Everything)

Now I look at you and am reminded of

Innocence and naivety

Young love and hopeless daydreams

Insecurities and crushed spirits

I don’t love you anymore but

I will always remember how

The heartbreak you handed me

Moulded me and made me into

What I am today

-Loveless

4. Sinking

I fell in love with

Your voice just like

The sailors were drawn

To the siren’s singing

And I don’t think

You intentionally

Wrecked me but

I sunk just the same

5. Glue

I was taken apart

By another boy and

It only made me

Long for you more

I want you to

Put me back together

But you’ve used all your glue

Making sure she stays

Part Two - Hopeless Haven

6. Opposites Attract

Can it ever work out

When he’s everything

I could never be and

I’m everything he

Never wanted to be?

7. Flowers

The world turned

Again and again

Burying me in darkness and

Showering me with sunshine

I held hands so tightly and

Let others slip from my grasp

And you…

You evaporated into the air

And appeared again beside me

I looked to you for

Familiarity but

That’s all you were

The past and the

Unchanging

I grew like a flower

Reaching for the sun

And you

You still look down

At the dying grass

Beneath you

8. Lost

I knew I couldn’t find

The world in your eyes

But I searched for it there

Just the same

9. Another Tragedy

You remind me of

All the chances I

Didn’t take

I look at you and

See the sun because

I wanted to fly closer

But I didn’t want

My wings to burn

I didn’t want to fall

(If you are the sun then

I am not Icarus)

10. A Synonym for Goodbye

You ran away

But darling

I did the same and

Two terrified people

Cannot make each other

Brave

If I could say

One last thing to you

It would be this

I understand

11. Happiness

Light and laughter

Illuminate you like

A moonlit night and

I can see you looking

Down at her like she

Is the moon itself and

All you’ve ever wanted to do

Is fly through space to reach her

But she is beside you and I’m glad

You didn’t have to defy gravity to find her

I’m glad she’s closer to you than

I could ever get

You are smiling at her and I realise

You breathe easier when she is near

And I know I used to adore you

But you look better with her

You look better when

You’re holding happiness

12. Moving On

I don’t know if you

Even remember me

But if you’re going to

Please remember me

As I am now:

Happy for you

Part Three - Reckless Falling

13. Perspectives

The world thought

He was black and white

Like a pen scribbling on paper

But she looked at him like

He was the night sky

With whole planets

Burning brightly

In a huge galaxy

14. Favourite Things

He reminded me of

The last day of school

Rain and Christmas morning

All at once

15. Fears

I know you are

Afraid to love

But I promise you

It is more terrifying

Not to

16. Just a Boy

They told me

He was just a boy

And I nearly believed them

I nearly believed that he was

Just another boy with a brick wall

Built to hide his heart

Just a boy with a carefree smile

And a laugh that sounded like joy

Just another boy who said my name

Like it meant something

But he is not just another boy

He is the last time I felt happiness

And the first time I felt safety in

Uncertainty and recklessness

He is the only time

Love felt like healing

He is not just a boy

He is the one that

Saved me

17. Shattered

Of course the fall

Shattered me but

It was still worth

The feeling of

Flying

18. Fireplace

I know you’re not quite

Sunshine on a rainy day

But maybe you’re a fireplace

And maybe that’s enough

19. Midnight Sky

I begged the stars every night

Not to take him away from me

But the only reply I ever got was

You’ve already lost him darling

20. Touching the Clouds

This falling

Is familiar and

Your eyes look like

Summer storms

I can feel the

Wind in my hair

When I don’t

Look away

I know you’re afraid

Of hitting the ground

(We all are)

But I promise you if

You don’t let go of my hand

We can stay in the air forever

Touching the clouds

Floating on breezes

-I think it’s called flying

Part Four - Clear Skies

21. Endless

The storm clouds have vanished but

Now there’s nothing to soften my fall

The sky is empty

Where did the earth go?

I can’t see the ground beneath me

I can’t see anything except for you

I don’t think it’s a bad thing

All I can feel is this airborne sensation

Clinging to the insides of my stomach

It feels familiar

A little like love

I can’t see any birds

Just the feathers on my wings

The blue is swirling around me

Comforting, endless

Maybe I’m not falling

I feel more like I’m flying

22. Star’s Space

The space between the stars

Is nothing compared to the distance

Between you and me

23. The Devils I Know

The sky is dark

The total opposite of your eyes

I don’t know if that’s a good thing

I don’t know if it’s better when

Everything reminds me of you

Or when nothing does

I don’t know if I’m sadder

When you seem close

And aren’t

Or when you seem far away

And are

24. September Smiles

You see me

And look away

Like I was just a

Smile in September

And a wave in winter

But I loved you through

All the seasons and

I love you now

Now that I have lost

Track of time and weather

And happiness and

Everything except

Thoughts of you

25. Smiles and Regrets

“I’m sorry”s pour from your mouth like poison

And I catch them all the while knowing

They’ll make my hands bleed but

My palms were already coated in dark red

From holding the pieces of my heart that

I left in your box labelled “maybe”

Don’t you understand?

Smiles mean more than regrets

And I see you handing them out

To everyone else as if

They are worth nothing

But your smile is worth

Everything to me

-Maybe that’s why

I feel worthless

26. Cages and Homes

He put me in a cage

Telling me it was a home

And I believed him because

He made me feel like

I was flying when

My feet never

Left the ground

27. Destruction’s Devotee

But the difference is

They were blanketed in fear

And you were wrapped in longing

But whilst they were scared of love

It wasn’t the thing you craved

You yearned for destruction

And all I wanted was

For you to want me

28. Naivety

And I heard that

Pride comes before

A fall

But you taught me

That naivety does

29. “Beautiful”

He’ll tell her she’s beautiful

And won’t bother explaining

That he just uses the word as

A synonym for breakable

Bonus Material

30. Crumbling Concrete

I once loved a boy who was a whirlwind of unrealistic expectations, never-ending daydreams and long nights surrounded by tearstained pillows. He was broken spirits and glistening eyes, fractured smiles and bleeding hearts. He was ruins and rubble and the end of the world as I knew it.

The next boy I loved was friendly laughter and short conversations shouted across classrooms. He was the moon and the stars and everything that you can only love from a distance. He was fading hope and disappearing happiness, cold ice and eye-contact with strangers. That boy was numbness and nostalgia and nearly something more.

The next boy I loved was teasing words and meaningless eyerolls. He was daring leaps and long falls, newfound light and shelter against a storm. He was real smiles and unexpectant comfort, distractions and a temporary painkiller.

The other boy I loved was plot twists and new beginnings. He was a home and a steady hand. He was clear skies that never showed signs of the looming storm. He was a broken heart and a sunset, healing and then the reopening of the wounds. He was safety and sadness all at once.

And then everything changed when I stopped loving the end of the world, nostalgia, fragile shelters and broken hearts. The next person I loved was myself. She was shattered and bruised, afraid of her own reflection. She was wilting flowers and dried up rivers, crumbling concrete and crossed out words. She was broken and I healed her. And now she is glimmering lakes and watered gardens, photos hung on walls and moonlight on late nights.

Now she is whole.

~~~

Thank you for reading. Please check out the full book on Amazon here.