My Emotional Support Dinosaur
Nothing like a sweet little treat to take the edge off
I bring it with me always
Everywhere I go
To work, to shops, to parties,
Because it takes away my woe.
I scarcely need to feed it,
Because much to my delight,
It likes to snack on all my problems,
To stem its appetite.
When my boss made me redundant,
It squashed him into paste,
And when the in-laws came to visit,
None of them went to waste.
When the bus left my stop too early,
And I missed it by just the slightest tick,
My dino chewed it down to shrapnel,
And used it as a toothpick.
When my ex found a new lover
It had a two-course meal,
It used all our photos as a napkin,
And garnished them with onion peel.
When the Uber to the party
Cancelled without the slightest warning,
My great big hungry lizard,
Had it for breakfast in the morning.
When the neighbour’s dog barked one night
So loudly it woke me up,
My dino had a midnight snack
And devoured that yappy pup.
When the woman at the grocer,
Pushed in line and cut me off,
She was crunched up ever so quickly
I barely got to scoff.
When the buff guys at the gym
Laughed and made me insecure,
It had a high protein snack,
And turned them to manure.
When the police came by my house
To place me under arrest
My dino found their badges
Tricky to digest.
When they brought in the airforce,
All their efforts were in vain,
Because the last thing those pilots heard was
‘Here comes the aeroplane’.
When they sent in the subs,
And ships full of marines
It cracked them open and ate them up
Like tins of angry blue sardines.
When the last man surrendered,
And met his own demise,
I saw my dinosaur had grown,
To an incomprehensible new size.
But now I have no problems left,
Its stomach’s sounding oh so hollow,
And it’s looking at me like
Something it wants to swallow.
I try to find more problems,
For it to chew and maul on,
But I know it’s gonna eat me because
I’ve been the problem all along.
About the Creator
J. R. Lowe
By day, I'm a PhD student, by night.... I'm still a PhD student, but sometimes I procrastinate by writing on Vocal. Based in Australia.
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Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (27)
You should turn this into a children's book perhaps! It's very good. Thanks for sharing!
Back to Say my write.Congrats. Hey, I am hossain. I really appreciated your written fiction. you see my write i Think you we'll like it.
Omg, so hilarious 😂. I loved it. I feel sorry for the pup getting munched up though. Clever you are indeed!
Fantastic writing.
I loved it! Oh, to have my own personal dinosaur!
Congratulations 🎉
Funny and prophetic!
This is really beautifully done. The way the tone shifts from proud to resigned is phenomenal. There's a really powerful, evocative sense of anger too. Wonderful job writing this! And congrats on the Top Story!
great set of lines for the challenge really enjoyed it
The ending... loved it!
My warm congratulations.
Very insightful.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Oooh love the ending so much ! Congratulations on Top Story 🥳⭐️👍
Hilarious!!! ROTFL!!!💕❤️❤️ Congratulations on Top Story too!!!
so funny yet very relatable! Great story!
Masterfully written, hilarious, and bonus points for the moral!
omg, this is hilarious. I love it. fantastic.
Haha funny and so poignant as well! Loved your work here.
A funny poem with a lesson to be learned with your final lines. Congratulations
Truly hilarious and so well done! Congratulations on the top story!
Excellent! Fun read and I love the ending twist.
What did I tell you? Hm, Congrats on Top Story!
Much fun J.R! 😁👍 🦖
Tiny blue sardines. Lol. This is hilarious. Well done.