When He Was Neurodivergent...

It is unclear to this author what, precisely, the contemporary equivalent of “dearest gentle reader” would be, so we shall begin thusly:

Hey besties,

Are you, like me, still feeling many ways about the Bridgerton season 3 finale? Have you, over the past fortnight, found yourself wrestling with conflicting emotions of delight and disappointment, satisfaction and frustration? Were you, perhaps, relying on the final four episodes of this beautiful, insane, soapy, campy confection of a show to tend, in even the smallest of ways, to the wounds left by the unrelenting grind of modern existence? No? That might just be me. And it is highly likely that this writing should be, say, a Reddit post, or a slightly ranty monologue at a willing listener. However, this author doesn't have a Reddit account, and her husband has already heard all of the points to be made herein, so one does what one must.

And I must discuss Francesca and John.

I will make haste to distance myself from those decrying the introduction of Michaela. Attempting to avoid spoilers with this fandom seems silly, but I'll be vague regardless: the book character that was changed was not my favorite, and I'm genuinely curious how the show will navigate a true LGBTQIA relationship (Benedict's “expanded horizons” this season were much more in the situationship realm, in my mind). The other aspects of Francesca’s story in When He Was Wicked, the sixth of the Bridgerton books by Julia Quinn upon which the series is based, were heartbreaking and powerful, but I trust that the show will find a way to maintain the most salient parts. No, the issue that truly bothered me, which I cannot seem to reconcile, is that for a brief but lovely arc, we were given neurodivergent representation, a neurodivergent love story, only to have it undercut and, potentially, rather unceremoniously cast aside. And, at the risk of sounding terribly uncouth, this author must say that that freaking sucks.

While I cannot imagine that this writing would hold the attention of anyone unfamiliar with the show and/or the book series, I will provide some information for any hapless Netflix neophyte who has made it this far. Francesca is the sixth child in the eponymous Bridgerton family who, in the beginning of the season, is presented to the Queen and society at large as available for marriage. Unlike her charming, socially adept brothers and sisters, Francesca prefers to keep her own company and play her pianoforte. She is out of her element at social gatherings and struggles to let herself be truly seen, truly known. She is hoping to make a pragmatic match which will remove her from the marriage mart and allow her some space from the loving-but-overwhelming intensity of her family. Though it was not her intention, she finds herself developing feelings for a young man; not the dashing marquis that her mother and the Queen herself had hoped for, but the quiet, unassuming, and frankly awkward Lord John Stirling.

He, too, hates social gatherings and is methodical and meticulous. He’s a big fan of wainscoting and has a passion for architecture that rivals Francesca’s obsession with music. Social niceties escape him, but he excels at truly thoughtful gestures. ‘Still waters run deep,’ as they say, and there is a tranquil depth to the mutual understanding and affection between Francesca and John that was absolutely delightful to watch. Her family marvels as the young lovers sit together in companionable silence. They wait with visible bemusement as Lord Stirling fumbles his way through an anecdote that no one save Francesca finds amusing in the least. The Bridgertons, especially mother Violet, are a group profoundly devoted to overt, passionate, often tumultuous love stories, and they seem to struggle to understand what could possibly bind these two to each other, but throughout the season, Francesca and John find their voices to explain and defend their love. It is a love reminiscent, not of fireworks, but of a warm cup of tea: a comfort, a homecoming, and a refuge. The neurodivergent coding with these characters was subtle but undeniable for those of us who saw our own stories being told by these two beautiful weirdos. High-masking neurodivergent girl meets low-masking neurodivergent boy, confusing but eventually winning over their neurotypical friends and family, and the two embark on a relationship where they both get to be truly themselves, possibly for the first time.

And then came Michaela. Engaging, talkative, stunningly lovely of course, and also very obviously neurotypical, Michaela.

And Francesca, who had been so adamant, so steadfast in her assertions that this quiet love was what she needed, what was helping her to truly understand herself for the first time, instantly becomes the poster child for the sudden, passionate, lightning bolt love story that her mother had gone on and on about. She stumbles over her words, clearly enraptured, and there all the while is John, still awkward, still quiet, still not the charming cad that Michaela is said to be. This, I will say briefly, is very different from the book, where Francesca is deeply in love with John and only has eyes for him for as long as they are together. And the reason that this change vexes me is that it seems to imply that maybe the gentle love between John and Francesca isn’t comforting so much as it is lacking. Lacking passion, lacking challenge, just generally falling flat. It seems to imply that an easy, agreeable love between neurodivergent people is actually not admirable or aspirational, and that even a neurodivergent person themselves would be happier with a neurotypical partner. As neurodivergent people are so frequently told that we aren’t “quite right,” alternatively too much and not enough, to see a story where even one of our own would be happier with someone more “normal…” Well, it hurts.

Now, I understand that this diatribe is in response to roughly five minutes at the end of a season that wasn’t even really about John and Francesca. There is really no way of knowing at this point how the show will address these relationships and the dynamics therein. But in a media world featuring characters like Sheldon Cooper or Sherlock Holmes as the go-to neurodivergent representation, it was incredible to see: 1. Neurodivergent people who aren’t just horrible narcissists who treat everyone around them like garbage. 2. A neurodivergent woman with her own story that isn’t solely in support of a male character. 3. A love story between neurodivergent people that felt like a win, not like the consolation prize that was the best either of them could hope for anyway. But in the end, it seems like Francesca’s marriage to John is in fact the consolation prize, the best she could do since her real, passionate love may be with a woman. And that representation is critical, too! I am thrilled that Bridgerton will be bringing many different love stories to the fore. I only wish that the love between Francesca and John was allowed to stay as whole and beautiful as it was, and that we didn’t have to have one type of representation besmirched and belittled in order to make way for another.

Niche terms-

Neurodivergent: an umbrella term most often used to describe autistic people or those with ADHD.

Neurotypical: a term to describe the majority of people who are not ASD/ADHD.

High-masking: able to behave in such a way as to seem neurotypical.

Low-masking: more obviously neurodivergent.