The Fabulous, Astounding, Magnificent Marshmallows

Excuse me, excuse me

Ladies and gentlemen

Introducing

The fabulous

The astounding

The magnificent

...

Me

It's marshmallow time, baby.

Let me tell you a little story

Gimme a beet

And some bass

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Picture the scene

I was sitting serene

When I turned on the computer, what did I see?

Some crazy chick running her mouth about lil ole me

What the?

"Marshmallows, how I deeply despise thee"

You see, me thinks thou shalt take thee bad taste back to the middle ages

Maybe one of the peasants will share their beets with you

While I work on my ass, in a dunkable coffee stew

Dusty and squishy, since when is that a bad thing

Dusty and Squishy are both known to sing

Maybe they'll back me up

As I knock you down

Off your high off, as you trot on by

I have to wonder why

Why so hurtful

Why so painful

Did a marshmallow steal your boy or girl in school

Did a marshmallow hustle you in a hall at pool

What is the meaning for so much resentment?

Hating marshmallows is a serious ailment

I look forward to a time when violence isn't the only answer, when we can co-exist and co-habitate maybe in peace and tranquility.

When the only thing we disagree on is which Take That song is the best

If you say anything other than Never Forget, then give your brain a rest

Where were we? Oh yes

We should assess, I guess

Your plans for my volumptious body

You want to impale me and hoist me, damn that's kinky?

Then burn me while holding my family hostage?

I'm confused...who is the real villain here, you or me?

I struggle to understand it all, you see

Maybe it's my big, dumb, beautifully soft brain

But I don't intend to inflict on you any pain

Whereas you can't wait, to lure, maim and kill me

There's something off with your plan, you see

You've laid it out all plain for me

I know your machinations

I know their culminations

So dear dear Donna

If I know your next move, how you going to win?

I don't want to get mean, but push me and Ill sin

I'll charr your beets and then sling them in the bin

No-one has to taste the dirt, so it's really a win-win

Well a win for me, a lose for you

Really, Donna, what you gonna do?

I'm a universal treat

Not a stinky beet

If you talk about me on twitter

You'll get double the retweets

You would for your root

Now, I'm sorry I went full brute

But I had to put you on blast

And let this be the last

We say on the matter

Because no matter

The time or day

There aint no way

Anyone can say

That marshmallows aint something special

So Donna Renee

Whatya gonna say

When they come for you

Come for you

Whatya gonna say

eh

Eh?

Yo...this is a shout-out to...

The Ghostbusters Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

Marshmallow from Frozen

All you sweet and decadent pillows

Y'all welcome round my crib anytime

We be dropping beets from high places

All day, all nite!

Fo' shure!