The Fabulous, Astounding, Magnificent Marshmallows
For Donna Renee!
Excuse me, excuse me
Ladies and gentlemen
Introducing
The fabulous
The astounding
The magnificent
...
Me
It's marshmallow time, baby.
Let me tell you a little story
Gimme a beet
And some bass
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Picture the scene
I was sitting serene
When I turned on the computer, what did I see?
Some crazy chick running her mouth about lil ole me
What the?
"Marshmallows, how I deeply despise thee"
You see, me thinks thou shalt take thee bad taste back to the middle ages
Maybe one of the peasants will share their beets with you
While I work on my ass, in a dunkable coffee stew
Dusty and squishy, since when is that a bad thing
Dusty and Squishy are both known to sing
Maybe they'll back me up
As I knock you down
Off your high off, as you trot on by
I have to wonder why
Why so hurtful
Why so painful
Did a marshmallow steal your boy or girl in school
Did a marshmallow hustle you in a hall at pool
What is the meaning for so much resentment?
Hating marshmallows is a serious ailment
I look forward to a time when violence isn't the only answer, when we can co-exist and co-habitate maybe in peace and tranquility.
When the only thing we disagree on is which Take That song is the best
If you say anything other than Never Forget, then give your brain a rest
Where were we? Oh yes
We should assess, I guess
Your plans for my volumptious body
You want to impale me and hoist me, damn that's kinky?
Then burn me while holding my family hostage?
I'm confused...who is the real villain here, you or me?
I struggle to understand it all, you see
Maybe it's my big, dumb, beautifully soft brain
But I don't intend to inflict on you any pain
Whereas you can't wait, to lure, maim and kill me
There's something off with your plan, you see
You've laid it out all plain for me
I know your machinations
I know their culminations
So dear dear Donna
If I know your next move, how you going to win?
I don't want to get mean, but push me and Ill sin
I'll charr your beets and then sling them in the bin
No-one has to taste the dirt, so it's really a win-win
Well a win for me, a lose for you
Really, Donna, what you gonna do?
I'm a universal treat
Not a stinky beet
If you talk about me on twitter
You'll get double the retweets
You would for your root
Now, I'm sorry I went full brute
But I had to put you on blast
And let this be the last
We say on the matter
Because no matter
The time or day
There aint no way
Anyone can say
That marshmallows aint something special
So Donna Renee
Whatya gonna say
When they come for you
Come for you
Whatya gonna say
eh
Eh?
Yo...this is a shout-out to...
The Ghostbusters Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Marshmallow from Frozen
All you sweet and decadent pillows
Y'all welcome round my crib anytime
We be dropping beets from high places
All day, all nite!
Fo' shure!
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Scottish-Italian poet/writer from Glasgow.
Overflowing in English language torture and word abuse.
"Every man has a sane spot somewhere" R.L Stevenson
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection is now available!
https://paulspoeticprints.etsy.com
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Comments (39)
Bahahaha. Omg, how did I miss this epic battle! πThis was very nifty from the marshmallowβs perspective! We must have someone pair this with music pronto. The kids these days need a new anthem! ππ΅
Paul you are such a sass pants, making this just for the other Donna! I love that kind of attitude! π I also love the perspective you chose for this poem/ rap, it was fun, unique and made for a great read! βIβll charr your beets and then sling them in the binβ π€£ Had me laughing out loud, marshmallow Paul!! I can totally see why this was a Top Story!! Itβs such a great poem and fun sentiment! Great work Paul!! I think this might be my all time favourite piece of yours!
Great song, rant, ode to the M. Kudos on the rap.
This had me chuckling throughout. A very deep passion for marshmallows π
Hahaha love the humour in your words. Congratulations on top story.
I loved this one so much, Paul! Of course, I've always been a softy for marshmallows ππ€
https://vocal.media/authors/zeeshan-may
Marshmallows are delightful treats! I thoroughly enjoy reading this content. Thumbs up!!!
What great fun! Fantastic as usual :) Congratulations on Top Story!
Pure joy reading this story ..well done!
I'm shaking with laughter. Don't mess with the Paulster. Or marshmallows.
Awesome β¨ Congratulations π
Anyone for a marshmallow roast and S'mores. I love marshmallows even right out of the bag.
π Congratulations on Top Story!
read my fiction stories ... you all love it
https://vocal.media/fiction/the-enchanted-waltz
An amazing and funny top story!!π€
Metaphorically speaking. Good job.
I didn't know marshmallows were a thing in Scotland. I can't say I ever saw them in England when I lived there in the 70s. Great piece! ππΊ
I guess I can congratulate you on the top story π€£π€£πππ©π©
There ya go! Congrats on Top Story, P-Man!
nice
hahahaha...congrats, this was a hoot
This was excellent! Very clever and funny
hahaha. How did I miss this? This is great. Congrats on the TS