Wham Bam From Spam Diss Track

Wham bam

It's yo' boy

Spam

S p a m, say my name

Mr Wiggins, you got some mighty biggins

Stepping to me with no sense of decency

I was going to remain quiet,

Was going to keep my cool

But you stepped way over the line, I saw that as a sign

Did yo momma never teach you not to judge

a book or can of food by its cover or label?

As much as I may like to, I don't want to fight you

I'd rather sniff a fart in a hot and sweaty room

Than take you on face to face, even armed with a broom

I'm smarter than that, like a slimmed-down Chris Pratt

Wait, I'm more like Chris Evans, or a mixed-breed meat-based Suftan Stevens

Anyway, anyhow, I digress; I lost my train of thought

All I want to know is that the best you got?

I really wanted to avoid getting emotional

But Lamar, you really hit a sore spot.

I lack the full-on meat-centred bliss of a decent sausage, burger or steak

My existence may have been something of an abomination but make no mistake

I wish I looked and tasted better, but grill me up, and I'm something special

Baste me in butter and stick an egg on me on a fine slice of toast

I don't want to brag, don't want to boast, I am an ingredient more versatile than most

So step yourself back, and stop talking smack; this has been your official wham bam diss track

See, yo' boy got bars

Is...is this still on...

Peace.

*Thanks for reading!

This is a diss track on behalf of the mighty Spam as a response to Lamar Wiggins' excellent anti-spam piece as part of the Paul and Donna Yucky Food Challenge:

For another attempt by me at rap, take a look at this:

You can also check out the rest of my work here.