Dear Kristen

Dear Kristen (we will be kind and keep things civil, taking the higher ground)

Hate is such a powerful word to use,

You may hate me, but I only mean well.

I am but humble cottage cheese.

Sure, I'm hardly the best-looking thing in the world

I'm not a decadent chocolate mousse or cake or even a homemade ramekin of guac

I did not mean to incur the full extent of your wrath and rage

I merely wanted to help you

I wish I had a better texture than...how did you describe it? "curdled ocean water"

I would love to have a sharp flavour like cheddar or to have a crumbly and creamy texture like Wensleydale

I would even love to have a more pungent flavour like my blue cousins, Gorgonzola, Dolcelatte, and blue Stilton

I am sorry my existence defames cottages and other real cheeses in your mind

I love a good cottage...one preferably in a quiet, serene, and wild forest

away from the haters of my kind...where I can live a happy and peaceful life in seclusion. If I had that in life, I would be content - I could crochet blankets from my curds and just sit in my juices, doing internal work on myself. I'd have a wood-burning furnace or old-style fire, decking area to sit and take in the scent of pine and lavender...that would be bliss...my kind of happiness

It's time, after all, I put myself first.

Time, I accepted nothing but the best

I am not playing second fiddle to anyone, anymore

Maybe once I work on myself, I will return to society, and we can be friends, Kristen.

I live in hope

I wish thee well in life and don't wish thee ill will

Be well,

Mr. Curdled Ocean Water Aka Cottage C. Heese.

*

Thanks for reading.

Author's Note: As part of the ongoing Yucky Food Challenge, as many people have called it, I thought it might be a fun idea to write a rebuttal to many of the awesome poems we have recieved from the subjects of their wrath. For this one, I took on Kristen Balyeat's Dear Cottage Cheese...I hate you, which you can read here:

Hope you enjoy!