Tips on how to get over someone effectively

Honesty can be difficult to hear, and some people may choose to avoid the truth because they prefer ignorance over facing uncomfortable realities. In the following article, I will provide guidance on how to move on from a breakup or heartbreak. I want to note that successful implementation of the steps I suggest is crucial for effective healing.

1. To start the healing process, it’s important to cut off contact with the person. This means refraining from talking to them and avoiding checking their social media. While it’s natural to think about them, try not to check their socials all the time and your old photos you took together. Accept the fact that it’s over.

2. It’s important to remember that when you’re in a relationship or any kind of connection with someone, a lot of the emotions you experience can be similar to going through withdrawal from a drug. It’s like being addicted to the chemicals in your brain, such as oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, which make you crave that person. These chemicals may be in high demand right now, but they will eventually settle down.

When I went through my breakup, it felt incredibly intense and overwhelming. I thought that if I got back together with my ex, it would be bad for me, and if I didn’t, it would also be bad. However, after a couple of weeks, my feelings started to change. I began to care less about my ex and the pain started to lessen. This was partly because I decided to cut off contact with them. In the beginning, a lot of the struggle was happening in my mind and that’s completely normal.

An additional advice: If you’re looking for a casual hookup without catching feelings or getting into a complicated relationship, it’s best to avoid actions that create emotional bonds. This means refraining from hugging or engaging in activities that can deepen your connection, like sharing intimate details or cuddling afterwards. You should keep these actions to a minimum to maintain a more casual and detached experience.

3. It’s important to understand that during a difficult breakup, your emotions may fluctuate greatly from week to week. You may gain new clarity on the situation as time goes on, just like I did. Closure is not something you necessarily need from the other person. Seeking closure from them may provide temporary relief, but it often leads to ongoing rumination and the need for more closure. Over time, you will find closure within yourself and the healing process will bring you the closure you seek.

4. Healing from a breakup can feel like a waiting game, but it’s important to actively choose to heal. If you spend your time moping, crying, or stalking your ex, it will be much harder to move on. Nowadays, with social platforms, it may seem like it’s normal to still be hung up on your ex. However, I believe it shouldn’t be normalized. If someone broke up with you or treated you poorly, yo should definitely recognize that and focus on your own well-being.

If someone cheats on you, it’s best to not say anything to them and never consider getting back together. Disrespect shouldn’t be tolerated, so immediately remove yourself from that situation. If someone disrespects you early on in a relationship or while dating, it’s a red flag that they may continue to do so in the future. It’s important to consider how they treat you from the beginning, as it sets the tone for the future. People often reveal their true selves through subtle actions. If someone cheats on you, whether you’re a lady or a man, getting back together with them can be harmful to your self-worth. By doing that, you make others believe you don’t deserve respect, love, or loyalty.

It’s vital not to get back with someone who has cheated on you, regardless of how much you love them. It can be embarrassing and difficult to walk away from such a situation. Just like with drug addiction, you need to treat it seriously and cut them off completely. Think of them as someone you don’t want to see or have any contact with anymore. Otherwise you’ll just hurt yourself even more.

5. I believe it should be easy to move on from someone who doesn’t treat you well. However, I understand that women tend to form emotional connections more quickly and easily than men. When we like a guy, we often try to shape them into our ideal partner. We should consciously ask ourselves if we truly like this person and think logically, rather than letting our emotions take over.

An additional advice #2: I suggest that you open your notes and make a list of the warning signs or red flags you’ve noticed in the person you’re trying to get over. Sometimes, we need to be aware of who we like and evaluate their behavior. This really helped me to realize what negative qualities I saw in my partner. Also, don’t let anyone convince you that you won’t find someone better than them. You definitely will, especially if they treated you poorly.

6. Moving forward, there is usually room for improvement unless you fail to learn from your mistakes or have consistently poor judgment. Some people take pride in having questionable taste, like one of my acquaintances who seems to consistently choose partners who treat her poorly. Despite the heartbreak and infidelity, she oddly enjoys this pattern. While it may be enjoyable in one’s twenties, it is unlikely to bring long-term happiness. I believe that some people simply enjoy portraying themselves as victims.

7. I would advise against seeking a rebound relationship. In my observation, there is a notable difference in how men and women cope with heartbreak. Men often seek solace by engaging in new romantic encounters, while women tend to find healing through supportive friendships rather than relying on dating apps. This may explain why some studies suggest that men may not fully overcome their past relationships, as they may suppress their emotions by quickly moving on to someone new. In dealing with a breakup, it is important for us, regardless of gender, to confront our emotions and process the pain. This approach is often the most effective in moving on, as lingering feelings can persist for years. During my own breakup, I chose not to distract myself, as it only intensified the pain when the distractions ended. Instead, I allowed myself to sit with my emotions and face them head-on. While spending time with friends can provide temporary relief, it is crucial to acknowledge that ultimately, we must face our emotions alone. We shouldn’t fear being alone, as it is a necessary part of the healing process.

8. To get over a crush, I recommend to recognize that crushes can be a waste of time. They may bring temporary excitement, but they often do more harm than good by taking away valuable time from your life. It’s helpful to understand that crushes are often driven by hormones and chemicals in the brain, like oxytocin and dopamine. If you have a crush on someone and they’re not reciprocating or you’re not pursuing them, it’s likely they’re not a good fit for you. Remember, finding the right partner is more than just having a crush; it’s about building a lasting relationship. To move on from your crush, try rational thinking. Make a list of things you don’t like about them and identify any red flags or reasons why you may be incompatible.

9. When thinking about what you deserve and the qualities you want in a partner, consider the impact of your choices. Ask yourself, if I date or stay with this person, am I doing a disservice to myself? What does it say about me? For example, if you stay with someone who is cheating on you because you love them, it shows a lack of self-respect and self-worth. Deep down, you’ll be unhappy and unable to trust them. It’s crucial to be brutally honest, even though it may be painful. Many people avoid the truth because they prefer ignorance over facing the reality. But sometimes, it takes a few challenging weeks to overcome the addiction and move forward. It’s vital to go no contact.

Finally, you have to understand the fact that time helps and everything is going to be okay. Always listen to your instincts.

from black belt barbie (BBB) ❤