Pay Attention

I paid attention when I didn't get the invite. I paid attention when I didn't get a thank you. I paid attention when I didn't get the apology. I paid attention when a room would go silent when I entered. I paid attention when folks believed lies about me and never asked me. I paid attention when they didn't show up for me. I paid attention when my important life events didn't even get a congratulatory phone call or text. I paid attention to the disrespect, and yes, I took it personally.

So now I rarely leave my bubble, my space, and I choose my peace every time. If I make it to an event, I'm invited to consider it an honor. I raised the bar for who has the pleasure to be around MY SPIRIT. Because I have a good one. Done fighting spirits that were created to take me off course. (Pink, P. Victims' Advocate)

I have to pay to how I allow others to treat me because my peace will always come first. I paid for all the pain and trauma you put on me, and now because I know better, you will no longer be privileged to be around me.

Yes, I paid attention when I didn't get a thank you for a job well done, and yes, I heard all the lies and rumors you spread about me, and I didn't say anything to you about it because I know the kind of person you are. I tried to help in other ways, but you don't care to give me my verbal flowers. I paid extra attention when you chose to believe the lies that others said about me instead of coming to me like an adult and talking to me about what you heard; not that I care about what others say about me, but you chose to gossip about me behind my back, and you honestly thought that it wouldn't get back to me funny how life shows you persons true intentions.

Yes, I paid attention when you didn't show up for any of my life-changing events; in fact, I noticed when you pretended to be happy for me when in reality, you were and still are jealous and irritated with my existence. You are so consumed with being fake and this type of person I know now that I have to ensure I protect myself and my inner peace at all times. It is funny how people in your inner circle think you should allow them to say and do what they want with you and then get mad at you for moving differently around them. It is also funny to me how you can pretend you have a good heart, but your heart is still broken and bothered by your own failures. Let's be very clear, I am not responsible for how you think or feel about me because, at the end of the day, I will always have one up over anyone that comes into my life, spreading negative energy. No one on this planet can stop my growth and development but me. So with that being said, I am no longer allowing you to disrespect my peace. You will not destroy anything attached to me because you do not have the skill set to handle me.

I paid attention to all the disrespect and the lies, and hell, yes, I took it personally because my peace is personal, and I guard it with my life, so if you do not like me, fantastic. If you half-ass fuck with me, cool but know this when I see and have validation of who you are, I will move around you because I know and see that all you want to do is destroy other's happiness, and this is something that I can not and will not tolerate.

I raised the bar for those who have the privilege to be around my spirit because I know the healing process that I had to work through to get where I am today, so if you are in my space, keep in mind that when I see the actual individual I will act according to how you move with me and if you do not like I don't give a damn because you brought it on yourself.