Once A Man Twice A Child

They say once a man, twice a child. Does that mean that as we age and become dependent again, we go back to who we were as children? Will we go back to exactly what or who we were now that we have become childlike?

As babies, we come into this world empty emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and psychologically. Physically, we developed as we grew. We need parental support, guidance, love, kindness, discipline, understanding of life and living. We need to learn morals, ethics, our creator, and more. Some of us matured faster. Some of us live the life we want. Others live what fate and destiny handed them. And some live what they learned.

Then, as you age, depending on how you live, you will need someone to take care of you as aging takes away our independence. That’s when you go back to being a child.

Sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties for some; you will need help depending on your health and how mentally or physically strong you are.

What do you take back with you? Your life as a child? Or your life experience and everything you learned and lived for the past fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, or more years.

As we age, what do we really take back with us as we become dependent on others?

Studying myself and my husband, I am going back to what I was as a child, and so is he. Our lives were hell. We had horrible mothers but good fathers. We had to fight life on our own as children, raising ourselves because we had an impatient life. We survived because we knew life. We didn’t know death. But not without pain and suffering that refuse to leave us.

I don’t forget my childhood, because the pain I had to endure as a child became my companion. It helped me make better life decisions that gave me the strength and will to ensure that I don’t repeat hell/history for my children.

I don’t like myself now, and I am learning new things about my husband’s childhood. Humans are unaware that how they treat children becomes a part of the blueprint of their lives. It stays with us forever.

My long-term memory is remarkable. It’s my short-term memory that’s the problem. For those who can remember their childhood, navigating through aging is easier. For the ones who forget, many won’t survive.

Remembering, there will be many tools available to guide you.

But what about those whose childhood was traumatic with lots of cruelty and pain? What will they go back to?

How will they survive aging? Especially the ones who never got to heal?

I knew I was a child, but I didn’t live like one when I should. I was forced to make adult decisions early while raising myself. So the fight for life began early for me. Now that I am older, I don’t want to be fighting anyone or anything anymore.

Shouldn’t the fight end now that I am retired?

A loud laugh grabbed my attention as I glanced around. It was close by, but I couldn’t see who it was. Seconds later, I realized it was coming from the instincts and common sense I have used to survive.

The fight ends with death. Many days, I wonder after watching the news, “Is death better than the hell we have to live with in this world now?”

Then my memory reminds me, “You know life. You don’t know death. Live until life ends.”

#Iintend2survive, so I go back with my childhood life, but I grabbed the wisdom, knowledge, understanding, kindness, love, patience, common sense, discipline, morals, ethics, and more with me. I know life now. So, I will survive!

Do you know what you will go back to as you age? 

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.