New Year, Same Me
Being Courteously Selfish
With the first month of the New Year almost fulfilled, there are changes all around us; like the suddenly over crowded gym that used to be your solace, or the painfully short contact and social media list that underwent a few adjustments, its all in the spirit of a "fresh start." Yet, why do we feel the need to wait until the start of a new calendar year for a clean slate? These tips will encourage you to put yourself first at times we forget to the most.
We've all had a fallout with a close friend or an ex spouse that left us questioning why we stuck around so long. Our biggest regret is usually the time, money, and energy that we've wasted on someone else, which could have been invested internally. The problem didn't stem from the third party, but the fact we forget to add ourselves to the equation. Take the initiative to create the change around you with simple, everyday modifications you can feel good about.
Create your own system of positive energy. This system should work in a cyclical motion, encouraging the output of negative energy, to in turn receive positive energy back, to be better focused to repeat the cycle again. For the friend that complains constantly, or the job you hate that makes you miserable every shift, take the initiative to move past these obstacles to meet a thoughtful new friend, or spruce up your resume to take on a new journey in your employment. These approaches will open up new opportunities that were being blocked by self-created barriers, and allow for a clear mind.
There is always solace in having someone to talk to. Begin by building a genuine relationship with an individual that shares similar interests as you; this is an opportunity for you to also learn about yourself and the things you like and dislike. Learning about yourself is a great way to demonstrate that you are a top priority because you can better communicate your needs to other people. If your dislikes are deal breakers such as lying, stealing, cheating, etc. make it known that these principles are core to you. Communicating these needs allow you to create a bond early on. When you build genuine friendships over time, you see the value in the effort you have invested and don't have the hassle of wanting to reset each year.
To be best prepared, it's ideal to set a goal each month. For starters, it ensures that you aren't discouraging yourself from advancing by getting overwhelmed, but it also forces people around you to choose one of two options: jump on board and support the changes you have to make to better yourself, or they can choose to not move forward with you on your journey. Your goals don't have to be outrageous, but instead of loaning money you never get back, set a goal to get a manicure every two weeks with the money you'll save. The little things are what count towards making yourself a priority all the time, and not just when things go sour or the new year hits.
That doesn't go to say that setting New Year goals isn't respectable, yet there is no need to give yourself the "new year, new me" pep talk. When you gradually and strategically make yourself a top priority, you will notice things begin to fall in place. So, when you finally tell that one family member "no" to their one thousandth request, or you don't give up that last dollar you were holding on to, its not the end of the world. Always remember, you are your greatest asset, and that requires you to be courteously selfish every now and again.