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Twelve Things You Need To Know About Dating Me.

A Dating Humor

By Carol TownendPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
Twelve Things You Need To Know About Dating Me.
Photo by Josh Hild on Unsplash

Well, I guess we all have quirks, and yes,

sadly, you can't date me because I am married!

Oops! I just thought I'd let you know.

I do spend my days wondering why my husband puts up with me, but hold on a minute!

We are as bad as each other, though he'd never tell you that!

Besides the obvious; here are twelve things you need to know about dating me:

  • Are you Wondering where all the cheese has gone? It's my fault; I'm like a little mouse because I love cheese.
  • Yes, you're not the only one who can mess up the bathroom in seconds; I can do it faster.
  • I will turn your dreams mad at night and disturb your sleep when I wake up several times a night talking to aliens in my bedroom.
  • I wear my T-shirts inside out. It's called high-fashion sense!
  • I will dump you for a book.
  • I am famous for talking, and I will talk your head off. Hey, I gotta keep my social status, you know!
  • I listen to way too much music for your liking, and I like to listen to it loud enough to wake an entire neighbourhood.
  • I will tell your children to wind you up so I can watch you squirm.
  • I am a gothic weirdo who loves dead things.
  • I only ever do boring stuff like cleaning and tidying when I feel like it, so please don't blame me if your cat gets lost in the trash
  • If your socks stink, I haven't done your laundry for years.

I wear odd socks.

This list is not an extensive list. I have a long list of things you need to know about dating me, but I won't tell you!

It's no fun if you run scared before our first date. It's my job to scare you off after we have dated, and not beforehand!

Calling me a weirdo won't help you because I like weirdo's. They make the best dates ever!

Oh, and here is one thing my husband says is strange about me, just for the record;

I will leave my coffee to go cold before I drink it, and I will fall asleep then still drink it when I wake up!

I believe every one of us has quirks that make us weird in some way. I think we all do things that others find strange and that we all find something weird about ourselves; even if we never admit it.

I dare you to be daring and write a story you think people need to know before dating you.


I have weighed up the evidence and decided that everything written in this article is true about myself.

I declare nobody can prove otherwise or take a lawsuit against me for being a 'weirdo.'

My evidence shows that every human on the planet is weird in some way or another; therefore, anyone who enters a relationship with me or marries me for life does so at their own risk.

It is perfectly acceptable to be weird, and it is not against the law to be anything but weird. Therefore anyone attempting to sue a person for being weird is dismissed, and any person who classes themselves as weird has a legal right to date whom they want.

I also declare that it is not my fault if anybody decides to commit to me for life before learning about my quirks. It is your responsibility to ensure you have guessed every single piece of weirdness about me before you trap yourself in my madness for the rest of your life.


Declared weirdo,



About the Creator

Carol Townend

Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.

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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (2)

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  • Jay Kantor2 months ago

    Mrs. 'Weirdo' ~ Quirk-Weird is Good-Weird ~ Whew, I had forgotten how you like to "Sock-it-to Us" 'j' in l.a.

  • Alex H Mittelman 2 months ago

    I love cold coffee too! Great learning about you! Well written!

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