Hilarious
The Great Cupcake Caper
Once upon a time, in a world not too different from our own, but with a whimsical twist, there was a town called Sugarville. As you might have guessed, everything in Sugarville revolved around sweets and treats. It was a place where candy canes lined the streets, ice cream flowed in rivers, and laughter was sweeter than honey.
By Ivan Aquino3 years ago in Humor
Harmony in Hearts
In the heart of New Orleans, where the sultry air was always thick with jazz and blues, lived two souls who had yet to discover the symphony of love that awaited them. Mia Gallagher, a talented young pianist, and Max Reynolds, a charismatic saxophonist, were both passionate about music but had no idea that their lives were destined to intertwine in a melodious love story.
By Joseph Bawaijen Godwin3 years ago in Humor
Mountain Dew Shortage Makes Strange Bedfellows
Extreme sports athletes and hard core methamphetamine addicts came together this week to issue a statement demanding an immediate increase in the nations Mountain Dew supply. The two groups, who rarely see eye to eye given their wildly disparate socioeconomic backgrounds, lifestyles, and overall health status, put aside their longstanding and very significant differences to deliver the plea in writing to Mountain Dew brand owner PepsiCo. Thirty year meth addict Ted Stephens said of the historic document “While I might think these extreme sports dicklicks are a bunch of a-holes and punk ass bitches, at least they have the right taste in soda. After a five day meth binge I need to come down some before I can even think of getting any shut-eye and there aint nothing to bring me down like an ice cold Mountain Dew. Something about that massive dose of caffeine and sugar all wrapped up in that sickly sweet green carbonated goodness just hits the right spot for me. I can’t get enough of the shit, hell, I’d brush my teeth with it, if I had any left. PepsiCo better get their asses in gear and start cranking out some fuckin Dew, sons a bitches.” Extreme skiing legend Tony Montigo made the following statement. “Dude, there is nothing more radical than dropping in on a 60 degree slope from a helicopter at 12000 feet, except for Mountain Dew. The shit is the bomb. And dope is wack dude, get off the shit fuckin meth, freaks.” As of last reports Mr. Stephens was still on the shit. PepsiCo spokesmen Hal Rivens responded to the two groups saying “We understand and have heard the concerns of our two most longstanding and loyal customer segments. While supplies are tight due to shipping delays associated with the recent Covid-19 pandemic, rest assured Mountain Dew is still on store shelves nationwide and will continue to be available. To prove we our serious, we have prioritized Dew shipments over Dasani water and other so called “pussy” drinks for the foreseeable future. At PepsiCo we view serving the meth addict and extreme sports athlete population as part of our core mission, and we will not falter in that mission.”
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humor
From Accused Thief to a Lesson in Transformation
Once upon a time, in a charming little village, there lived a man who had been dogged by a shadowy reputation as a thief. His life had reached a point where he knew he had to make a change, not just for himself but for his future and that of his loyal wife. Together, they hatched a simple but profound plan – to leave their hometown behind and seek a fresh beginning in a village nestled far away from the whispers of their past.
By Shahzad Murad3 years ago in Humor
The Black Valentine
On Wednesday the 14th, was the much talked about Valentine's Day. Here is my own Valentine's Day story. On Tuesday the 13th, I logged on to Instagram to share one of my latest stories . Okay, so when I opened the App, I realized that I had a lot of unreplied DMs. So I decided to reply messages instead. One of the messages was from one of my side chicks, Chinonso. She was asking where I'd take her to on Valentine's Day. I didn't reply the message, I just laughed in my mind. "It's like one this mad, she doesn't know she's just a side chick?" I thought about it and laughed even more. Before I could finish reading other messages, Chinonso's call came through. I didn't want to take the call at first, but I knew she won't stop calling until I took her call. So I picked up, and she went all "Darny, tomorrow is Val's Day, where are you taking me to?" I didn't know what to answer. I had only 15k left in my life, which i've been hiding in one deep corner of my bag since January. This 15k is literary my life, therefore I can't joke with it. "you are pretending not to hear me abi? Where are you taking me to?" Chinonso continued. Immediately, I activated my 'pity voice,' "Ah, Nonso, you know I don't have money na. If I had money you know what I can do na." "Since I met you, when have you ever had money? But if 'konji' hold you, you will have money to transport me to your house. Stingy boy." She blasted me angrily, and ended the call. I was happy ehn, this one is off my neck. I decided to go back to continue what I was doing on Instagram. Valentine's Day finally came, I was home that morning reading Jane Austen's 'PRIDE AND PREJUDICE', a novel i've been struggling with since November Last Year. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Before I could answer the door, Chinonso opened the door and walked in, like an 'Igbo Demon, as though she owns the room. Her first words were "Happy Valentine's Day, my love. Where are we going to?" I was shocked. "I thought we talked about this yesterday?" I asked. "yes we did. Today is lovers' day, since my boyfriend is too broke to take me out, is it a crime if I take him out? Oga goan bath, i want to take you out today, so that you will be ashamed. Since you don't know your work as a man." I don't know whether to laugh or cry. But i'm definitely not ashamed of a woman taking me out. Infact, I love it. It's my hobby. If you know, you know. Anyway, to cut the long story short. I went to take my bath, and Chinonso took me out as promised. We went to a Chinese Restaurant in Festac Festival Mall. A plate of rice is 7k, and she paid for two plates. I was shocked. We ate, and drank, and took pictures, and laughed, and Chinonso paid the bill in full. I mean, all of it. On our way out of the restaurant, I teased her, "Nono, so you have money like this, and i've been suffering?" She just smiled and said, "you will suffer even more because I took 15k from inside your big bag when you went to bath. Next time don't lie to an Igbo girl." I don't know what happened afterwards. I woke up this evening in a hospital. As i'm writing this story, I still can't breath well. Its like I want to die.
By Sam Otoabasi Etim3 years ago in Humor
The Giggle Guide
Once upon a time in the quirky town of Chuckleville, where laughter flowed as abundantly as the Chuckle River, there lived a man named Benny Bumble. Benny had a unique talent that set him apart from everyone else in town—he was the official Giggle Guide, specializing in navigating life's challenges with humor, one chuckle at a time.
By Michael Stephens3 years ago in Humor
